This has been and continues to be a super contentious US election where concerns about a coup, significant street violence, and even full-on civil war remain. Much of this was written on Oct 22nd, twelve days before the election. I've been updating this here and there, knowing that no matter when I make the final update, some part or another of the facts on the ground will have changed by the time it actually goes out.

I took the title Love in the Time of Covid-19 from a favorite book, replacing “cholera” with “Covid-19” for all too painfully obvious reasons. I want to talk of love. And I want to talk of love that isn’t “sentimental and anemic” as Martin Luther King, Jr., said. I want to talk of love of life, of people, of vision. I want to talk of the necessity of love in the midst of devastation and disintegration. I start by naming what I see:

In case you are still wondering why a coup and possible violence are an issue, watch Van Jones in this video to understand why a coup is possible and read this interview with nonviolence scholar and activist Erica Chenoweth to understand what a nonviolent response could look like. As I am doing my final update, there are still five states that haven't been called yet, and tension is rising. Donald Trump has already filed lawsuits about vote counts. None of us knows what is going to happen. The final vote count may still make him a winner. And it appears more likely as of this writing that he will lose. Even then, until and unless he concedes, the election season is not over, and could continue to escalate all the way to January 20, the day the inauguration is routinely scheduled to happen. The laws governing what could happen are not sufficiently specified, and there have been very few exceptions to smooth transitions of power. This election season is clearly one of them.

The level of polarization in US culture, already immense only a few years ago, has accelerated to unprecedented degrees in my lifetime. The combination of Trump’s way of inhabiting his role as president, increasing climate-change-related events, continued police violence against Black people and now also against protestors, and a pandemic that’s been used for fomenting rage create a perfect storm for potential breakdown. As a recent New York Magazine article points out, the growing violence is vaguely accepted rather than condemned by wide swaths of the population. How can love be of service in these times in particular?

On a recent “Reckoning with Collapse” call, I spoke with a member of a group that’s organizing for protective measures against cell tower radiation within her county. She recently discovered that all the others in her group, people she has come to see as dear friends, are Trump supporters who subscribe to certain narratives, (which many people, though not those in her group, call “conspiracy theories”) that she finds immensely difficult to relate to. I don’t see it as my role to evaluate these claims, nor do I believe I know whether or not any of it is true. Instead, I see my role as supporting the search for love in the face of it all. Since she knows and cares about the people in her group, I asked “Do you understand why someone who is intelligent, whom you otherwise respect, would adopt these views?” With this, I was looking for what values they hold in common. Initially she quickly listed human needs that didn’t touch her heart. Instead, I wanted her, and all of us, to really imagine, together, the experience of the people she was talking about. Precisely because of the existing mutual respect and care within her group, this was a fantastic opportunity for connection across a chasm that typically results in people writing each other off. I accompanied her while she held the need for individual freedom in reverence.

Then we went more deeply into what their actual narrative is, and given what they believe, why they are in despair. Love allows deep enough understanding to truly see the person who otherwise does not make any sense whatsoever to us. I have no interest in engaging with specific claims, because I really have no way of knowing what is true. I want to engage this question: If it’s true, then what is the danger? What do they care about in their doom story? We involved others on the call to find what members of her group could possibly be passionate about. The answer, once we dug deeply enough, surprised all of us; it was, ultimately, the sanctity of human life that emerged as the shared value. I myself would never have thought of this until it arrived.

Any time we lovingly explore with this level of interest and care, it changes us. It brings us closer to vision, imagination, and curiosity, and it thus takes us out of our own stuck narrative. I recognize how I distance myself from the men with guns in images of the far-right militia. It’s so easy to do this. It’s much harder to imagine being them, imagine how it would actually feel to be so angry and frightened about certain things to be willing to kill others. I have read quite a bit about the historical plight of the white working class in the US and have an abstract understanding of the reasons for the enormous humiliation and rage people feel. On the visceral level, it’s currently still beyond my imagination, and I am eager to find access to it. I want so much to retain the sense that they are fellow human beings, more like me than not. At the least, I can remember they were once little boys. Children, like all of us.

It’s more transformative, I learned again, to ask what they care about than to ask why they hold certain views and what is appealing about them. Focusing on what they care about leads to commonality and curiosity. The other question leads to analysis and has the potential for superiority in it. We need all the humility we can muster in these times to be people who keep the thread of connection intact in times when all around us we see the human fabric becoming threadbare.

This love is not a reason for inaction. Understanding what is important to others does not mean we give up on what matters to those of us who are horrified by what is unfolding in the US. What this love changes is only how we respond. If we take to the streets to stand up to a ruling class gone awry, we can still do it with love rather than hate. If there is any path forward, I can only see it being a path of love.

We aim to encourage the gift paradigm: a pattern of resource flow that isn’t based on individuals’ access to money. Within this, the Circle of Support acts as a baseline of steady support for Miki's choice to boldly (and so far successfully) venture more and more into operating within a gift economy. If you want to learn more about the existing paradigm, gift economy, the Circle of Support and our experimentation so far with alternative economies, we welcome you to visit the Circle of Support page on Miki’s website, or join the Circle here.

With immense gratitude and awe we have seen that, despite the hardships that have come to so many in these times, hardly anyone has left the Circle. At present, we have 123 people who contribute a total of $4,107 monthly to the Circle of Support. Both are roughly two-thirds of our goal of 200 contributors and $6,000 a month.

We celebrate every choice to join or leave the circle, as we aspire to our sustainability goal. Regardless of the total amount, we seek a broad base of participation both for the stability of this work, which increases when the circle is held by many hands, and for the affirmation of significance that your participation provides.

Is it your turn to cycle in? If so, please take a moment to do so now. If this isn't your moment to make a financial contribution, please consider telling the people in your life about your experiences of engaging with Miki’s work by forwarding information about her conference calls, books, or other resources.

Join the Circle of Support, or continue reading more about it on our website »

The Compass is Arnina Kashtan's unique methodology which synthesizes practices from Nonviolent Communication, The Work of Byron Katie, and Inner Child work with Arnina's own discoveries and tools to support you in moving beyond old patterns of guilt, shame, anger, and fear, so you can celebrate the essence of who you are and enjoy an unprecedented sense of genuine openness, creativity, and compassion with yourself and others.

Intrigued? Discover more details about The Compass here, and if you are unsure about registering for the full course, sign up for the first session (FREE) and see if it is a good fit for your needs.

A note from Miki: "My sister Arnina puts together so much -- systemic perspective, compassion for trauma, deep understanding about how humans function, and more -- into a comprehensive, deep, and fully accessible framework that supports dramatic shifts in the experience of being alive. I highly recommend it to anyone who has a passion for freedom."

If you have any questions, please contact Heather at Heather@BayNVC.org.

The Facing Privilege calls are an opportunity for people to engage on the deep questions that arise as we reflect on the topic of privilege. Info and register

The Questioning Money calls are an opportunity to grapple together with all aspects, both internal and external, of global capitalism and to move toward transforming it inside and out. Info and register

The Overcoming Patriarchy calls are for conversation, exploration, and active challenging of self and other based on the commitment to see and transcend all the ways in which we have internalized patriarchal thinking, to increase our collective ability to notice and act with choice. Info and register

The Reckoning with Collapse calls are an opportunity to engage with each other as we grapple with and aim to respond to the overwhelming information and grim prospects that humanity is currently facing, most immediately with the impacts of responses to the pandemic within the context of climate change, and other severe crises. Info and register

Join us in celebration! NVCFest is an opportunity for learning NVC consciousness. This November Miki will be one of 33 trainers from around the world contributing to this global event. Instead of the single-day event held in previous years, this year's NVCFest is a three-day-long event. Trainers are offering topics such as guidance for our time of global crises, a personal pathway of deeper connection, healing and much more. Learn all about NVCFest here.

You can still join this year's course. It remains open throughout the year, is easy to enter at any time, and it's not based on a set curriculum. This group loves it so much, that we are figuring out how to continue throughout the official break. And you can also register already for 2021. Whether you are an "official" leader or not, this ongoing program will support you in freeing yourself to fully step into leadership in all aspects of your life and work, and play your part in making life work for everyone. 2020 Info and register | 2021 Info and register

This year, 2020, has submerged us into a new and potentially transformative set of crises. As a result, many of us who share NVC with others have been feeling a growing unease about our roles. Many wish to develop their skills beyond the setting of using NVC as a personal growth tool within the market economy, and often don't know how to do so. This course is designed to respond to this need by supporting new and seasoned NVC trainers in opening to the way systemic perspectives deepen and transform how we bring NVC to people, communities, and organizations. Info and register

These retreats are designed to create the conditions that would allow all of us who attend to take a next step in our understanding, capacity for interdependent living, practice, service, and contribution to support the possibility of nonviolent global liberation. You can watch the 2018 Poland retreat video here.

An online NGL retreat, the first ever, is now being planned, dates TBD. If you want to be notified when we know the dates, and, especially, if you have capacity to support it with logistics, tech support, or care for registrants, please fill out this google form.

The Nonviolent Global Liberation community is now open for new “NGL Friends” to join, and we already have over 130 people in that category. Friends can join many calls, including coaching calls, conversations with guests, and team meetings, offer support with different tasks to the NGL Online community, contribute financially, and connect with each other for learning and mutual support. Read about NGL and see whether being an NGL friend is for you here.

The NGL Online community is a wild experiment in terms of use of resources. There are over 20 of us in the core teams that sustain the community. We are co-creators of a community that aims to function on a gift economy basis. When money arrives, which now is about $1,300 a month, we aim to distribute it among us based on the same principles. BayNVC has been supporting the work by covering the portion of BayNVC staff’s work within NGL Online, as well as by paying for all direct expenses. The total is close to $3,000. While we at BayNVC are completely willing to continue to support NGL, our main support is by not asking for money, and we are eager for the sustainability of those who pour countless hours over years to be able to lean on NGL for some of their sustainability instead of supporting NGL’s sustainability often at cost to themselves. Instead, If you have the capacity to do so, please donate here.

More than 20 people a week are now attending the Convergent Facilitation Coaching Calls to receive ongoing support from experienced facilitators on how to help groups make collaborative decisions. Many of them attended the introductory workshop Roxy Manning and Lisa Rothman in the fall. Are you interested in becoming a Convergent Facilitator? See what we have coming up.

Now more than ever, we see the devastating consequences when stakeholders aren't involved in making decisions that affect them. This is a time of extraordinary challenge, change and opportunity. The world is hungry for people who have the skills to support a group to arrive at a decision that everyone can wholeheartedly embrace; one that is arrived at with surprising efficiency. Learn how! Attend Roxy and Lisa’s workshop starting January 25th, available on a gift economy basis. You can find more information here.

Are you ready to serve in this time of extraordinary potential, challenge, and change? We are now offering weekly Convergent Facilitation coaching calls to support you with practice, and providing access to training if you haven’t done it yet and know you are called to this form of service. Find out more about this project and get involved here.

In The Highest Common Denominator — Using Convergent Facilitation to Reach Breakthrough Collaborative Decisions, Miki Kashtan introduces a novel decision-making process that is designed to build trust from the very beginning, to surface concerns and address them, and to turn conflicts into dilemmas that groups feel energized to solve together.

Miki’s latest book is now in the final stages of publication, and we invite you to celebrate this new resource in revolutionary decision making with us!

Sign up to to receive updates, and the link for our live launch, or learn more here.

Miki worked for years with her sister Inbal Kashtan to develop learning materials about NVC, and has continued to develop new materials after Inbal's death. The first 6 packets of this material are now available here for download on a gift economy basis, with no paywall. The packets are in four categories: Learning about NVC; Overcoming Patriarchal Training; Applying NVC in the World; and Sharing NVC.

Many people are skeptical about money coming in when we provide content without a paywall. We are celebrating that this year people have downloaded 654 items in 365 orders currently giving an average $7 per item. The majority of the people, indeed, don’t give any money, and we rejoice in that. And one person contributed $150 for 4 of the 6 packets we currently have on offer. This is the transitional world we want to live in, for as long as money exists: access for everyone regardless of how much money they have, supported by those who have the capacity to give more.

With the NGL Provider Apprenticeship Program starting, we anticipate completing the entire learning packet project when the first cohort finishes the program in August 2022, as each of the six trimesters of the program prompts and supports the completion of the packets relevant to the theme of that trimester.

Miki wrote this to Gina recently: “This book is all I thought it would be when I edited it, and so much more. I love it love it love it. Everything about it. Truly. It has principles and systems, not rote anything. It has examples, you curated books, you thought through so much. I am truly in awe. I wish every teacher and parent had this book.” Gina also picked quotes from Miki, which are directly relevant to the specific topics she chose.

If you are looking for a way to bring something of the vision of a world that works for all to someone you know who is a parent or a teacher, or if you yourself are one, you really can’t go wrong with this.

It is a guide to supporting children in learning how to sustain their humanity and open hearts in a world that’s constantly telling them otherwise. Miki says: "I've been encouraging Gina for years to take the step of converting her amazing work into a book accessible to others, and I am really elated to have it now available. It goes way beyond communication to create environments that actually support children in being part of shaping what unfolds." It is now featured on The Fearless Heart website and is available through Gina's website, Teaching from Your Heart, where you can also learn more about the book.

We have been granted an opportunity to designate a small fund to offer support to members of marginalized communities to increase access to educational opportunities in the fields of nonviolence, including Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Kingian Nonviolence, and Nonviolent Global Liberation (NGL).

At BayNVC, we are painfully aware of the enormous systemic obstacles that block full participation in shaping and benefiting from training in nonviolence. One specific example is that the vast majority of people who participate in NVC training in much of the world are from white and middle class backgrounds. We hope this fund will be a small contribution to change in this area.

To see if this scholarship may be a support to you or someone you know visit the project here: baynvc.org/reducing-barriers-scholarship.

We are also inviting continued contributions from our community and anyone else who is excited about what we are aiming to do. Let us know if you want to participate, and let others within your communities know about this project so that we can continue to offer this support into the future. If you are inspired to make contribution, please click here and choose “Reducing Barriers to Training in Nonviolence” as your designation.

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An ongoing series of independent units or modules, each one designed to support participants in engaging, in community, with one of the 34 Core Nonviolence Commitments. The series is for anyone who wants to strengthen their commitment to nonviolence and increase their ability to put it into practice in their day-to-day lives. You may register for the series at any time; once you are registered you will receive an email invitation once a month to RSVP if you wish to attend the next upcoming module.  Read more about this series, or sign up now.

Nonviolence is a way of being and living that orients, in thought, word, and deed, towards integrating love, truth, and courage in individual and collective action aimed at preserving what serves life and at challenging what doesn’t to transform itself so the human family can realign with life. -Miki Kashtan

Canticle Farm is an intentional community and urban farm in the Fruitvale district of Oakland, CA. The community operates on a gift economy basis, with a goal of radical inclusivity, working to heal across differences of race, gender, age, and religion.

The community has been given a generous offer that supports both of our organizations. For every dollar you donate to this campaign, a donor will contribute an equal amount up to $5,000 in matched funds to BayNVC. Since we started this campaign recently, we've already received almost half the matched funds!

Canticle Farm’s founders were students of Miki’s in the early years of BayNVC. For several years, Miki provided coaching for the Canticle Farm community, often on a weekly basis, supporting their community experiment at the intersection of social-justice based, faith-based and Earth-based nonviolent activism.

Learn more about Canticle Farm, this fundraiser, and how you can benefit our organizations at this time by visiting our fundraising page here.