Self Care is Pastoral Care
By Superintendent Amelia Cleveland-Traylor
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Jarrid Wilson
a 30-year-old pastor, husband, and father, died 9/11/2019
Andrew Stoecklein
a 30-year-old pastor, husband, and father, died on 08/25/2018
Matthew Warren
a 27-year-old son of Pastor Rick Warren of Saddleback Church, died 08/05/2013
Larry Wayne Sanders
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50-year-old pastor, husband, and father, died 09/19/2012
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Each of the men listed above died of suicide. Each of them loved Jesus and loved the church but, nonetheless, succumbed to a darkness deep within them leading to a tragic end. Most pastors will not suffer in the ways that these men of God did but there are far too many that struggle silently every single day. Pastors stress can be enormous. Stress arises from many sources like the disparity between one’s idealistic expectations and reality, the lack of clearly defined boundaries (for work and relationships), time management problems, poor self-esteem, poor conflict resolution, and so much more.
The Soul Shepherding Institute reports some startling statistics like the following:
- 75% of pastors report being “extremely stressed” or “highly stressed”
- 90% work between 55 to 75 hours per week
- 90% feel fatigued or worn out every week
- 70% say they’re grossly underpaid
- 40% report a serious conflict with a parishioner at least once per month
- 80% will not be in ministry ten years later and only a fraction make it a lifelong career. On average seminary trained pastors last only five years in church ministry.
- 100% of 1,050 Reformed and Evangelical pastors had a colleague who had left the ministry because of burnout, church conflict, or moral failure.
- 91% have experienced some form of burnout in ministry and 18% say they are “fried to a crisp right now”
- 70% constantly fight depression
- 80% believe their pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families and 33% said it was an outright hazard.
- 65% feel their family is in a glass house
- 53% of pastors do not feel that seminary or Bible college prepared them adequately
- 70% do not have someone they consider a close friend
- 50% do no meet regularly with an accountability person or group
- 72% only study the Bible when preparing for sermons or lessons
- 21% spend less than 15 minutes a day in prayer
- 44% of pastors do not take a regular day off
The spiritual, emotional, physical, and relational health of a pastor is not discussed often enough. Yet, the health of a congregation’s leaders often determines the health of the congregation. There are many books written by pastors that have experienced burnout. These include
On the Brink
by Clay Werner,
Zeal without Burnout
by Christopher Ash,
Pastoral Burnout and Leadership Styles
by Ruben Exantus,
Leading on Empty
by Wayne Cordeiro, and
Ministry Burnout
by John A. Stanford. It is well beyond the scope of this newsletter to provide extensive counsel on the prevention of unhealthy stress and burnout. Nonetheless, you should know that there are many things you can do to keep yourself healthy. Consider the following:
- Never neglect your own soul care. The need for quality personal time in daily devotions cannot be overstated.
- Be aware that burnout is a possibility for those called into ministry.
- Accept the gift of limitations. There is only so much that any one of us can do.
- Use common sense and consider how and what you are doing will impact those around you.
- Practice the Sabbath principle. Dedicate time for rest.
- Deal with disappointments, offenses, and betrayal of others quickly.
- Minister within the areas of your strengths and gifts. Be comfortable in your skin.
- Develop/maintain at least one close friendship with someone outside of your home church.
Every dedicated pastor feels obligated to love and to serve others wholeheartedly. Achieving this goal often comes at great personal sacrifice. Let us encourage every pastor to develop habits that would increase his/her personal health and wholeness. Let us expand our vision. Love God. Love others. Love self. Change the world.
Below
are two websites that may provide useful information.
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The Free Methodist Church of North America is doing their annual reporting different this year. The Lead Pastor of every church should have received emails that provided links to four different sections of the report. As of today, only 44% of TRC churches have completed their reports. PLEASE MAKE THIS A PRIORITY to complete all four sections of your reports as soon as possible.
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TRC signed up to take advantage of Amazon.com's "give back" campaign. Amazon Smile is a program where you can designate a charity to receive a percentage of any purchase made on Amazon.com.
If you buy things off Amazon, please consider designating TRC as your charity. How to get started:
www.smile.amazon.com
- find The River Conference of the Free Methodist Church, Lakewood, CO on the charity list, select it. Now every time you order something from Amazon, you must enter through the smile.amazon.com website, you'll see what charity you're supporting in red letters. Then start shopping. Amazon will automatically deposit donations into our checking account.
If you buy things off Amazon, please consider designating TRC as your charity.
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Amazing Grace Community Church
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Amazing Grace Community Church operates one of the largest food banks in the northern Denver Metro area. Last Friday the pantry hit new records, as 63 families were served, representing 264 people, in just 2 1/2 hours! Over 8,300 pounds of food was distributed on that one day. The Pastor's Pantry started 10 years ago and served three families in the first month. In 2019, the Pantry gave over 268,000 pounds of food to those in need... at the present rate, we will need 520,000 pounds in 2020.
But the church can't do it alone! It takes 25- 30 volunteers a day to help in the pantry. The local high school sends special needs classes to the pantry so the students can help sort and prepare foods for distribution (a real blessing!). While much of the food is purchased, local businesses also donate directly, many organizations have food drives to assist the pantry, and individual and businesses give generously.
The need for increased freezer space has been known for some time. Pastor Kent started a daily prayer vigil to figure out how this could be accomplished. And God provided. A 10x14 foot walk-in freezer is presently being installed at the church. God is so good. We ask you to join us in praying for this ministry.
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Abilene Portland Avenue FMC is in the News
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They come from over 20 different countries that face difficult circumstances such as famine and war.
One of those countries is the Congo. It's the poorest country in the world. The average income is less than $400 per year and war makes it a dangerous place to live.
Rejoice, 13, who came to Abilene before his first birthday, calls America the land opportunity."
His parents, Ali Mitachi and Miriam Pendeza, made the journey to Abilene in 2007 after living for more than 20 years in a refugee camp.
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TRC Conference Evangelist
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The role of conference evangelist is to "promote revivals and spread the gospel of Christ”. Pastor Fred Lynch was recently appointed in the role of Evangelist of the River Conference and is a gifted and fruitful proclaimer of the Good News. Pastor Lynch began his ministry as one of the foundational musicians in early Christian Hip-hop music and has had a wide variety of ministry experiences including Pastoral appointments, church planting, Christian education, and most recently, a popularly sought-after youth ministry speaker. Pastor Lynch worked with Rachel’s Challenge, speaking in high schools across the country.
He is a dynamic speaker and a passionate follower of Jesus. As you are planning your programming this year, consider Pastor Fred Lynch as a revivalist, youth outreach, or camp speaker.
You can hear some of Pastor Lynch’s messages by clicking on these links:
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TRC DISTRICT LEADERS
ARIZONA
BOISE
COLORADO/NEW MEXICO
NORTH TEXAS
SOUTH TEXAS
SPOKANE
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Upcoming Committee Meetings
Monday, March 2
Nominating Committee Video Conference
Tuesday, March 3
MAC Monthly Video Conference
Thursday, March 5
MEG Monthly Video Conference
Tuesday, March 10
Finance Team Video Conference
Thursday, March 12
Property Team Video Conference
Friday, March 19
Board of Video Conference
Tuesday, March 24
District Leaders Monthly Video Conference
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Leadership Summit 2020
Denver, Colorado
1 PM Friday, June 26 through
1 PM Saturday, June 27
Look for details and
registration information soon.
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SEPTEMBER 23–25, 2020
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE
New Room Conference is a gathering for Christians and leaders to join together to sow for a great awakening!
- If you’re seeking deep fellowship with real people, join us.
- If you desire to see God’s love move greatly in your family, community, and in our culture, join us.
- If you long to be part of a great awakening movement of God in our time, join us.
- Don’t miss this opportunity to unite the whole Church around the extravagant, transformational Gospel.
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E2020 CONFERENCE REGISTRATION IS OPEN!
Join us March 12-15, 2020 in Ridgecrest, North Carolina for E2020, a conference for women exploring and living out their call to ministry.
As women called to ministry, “seeing and being seen” is not a vain pursuit but a spiritual pilgrimage that begins by recognizing our Shepherd’s voice, who created us Imago Dei – in the image of God – and invites us into redemptive relationship.
Nestled into the side of a mountain in North Carolina, we will experience:
- Powerful keynotes from from gifted preachers.
- Practical workshops from experts in their field.
- Spirit-filled worship that represents God’s global heart.
- Spanish translation and workshops.
- Formative experiences like prayer walks, peer-groups and coaching appointments.
- Networking opportunities for best-practices and life-long friendships.
Come see and be seen in a setting where your soul will be set on fire, your calling will be affirmed, your imagination will expand, and your ministry will be set ablaze by the Spirit of El Roi – the God Who Sees.
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