I was at Divinity School, attending a two-hour, year-opening panel presentation, when 9/11 happened. I remember various presenters being called out of the room, one by one, and returning to it looking deeply disturbed—or not returning. The presentation continued as the number of panelists in front of us steadily declined. Finally, one person stepped up to the microphone to tell us what had happened in New York while we had been in that room.
At that point, only one of the towers had been hit. The moment is, of course, etched in my mind forever.
But I will always be grateful for what happened next: the person said, “If you want to watch the news on television go here; if you want to talk or pray with other people, go here; if you want to sit in silence; go here.” The room cleared quickly, and everybody seemed to know where they needed to go.
We are all different. We all process not only grief, but also shock, dislocation and disappointment, differently. I learned that day, with absolute clarity, what I need in such moments; and I learned that many others, even people who I think are “like me,” need something quite different.
There is no “right” way to respond to pain, including the ongoing pain of the pandemic and racial injustice, and the acute pain of the insurrection and desecration of our seat of government on January 6. To decide that there is, and to judge others accordingly, is to increase both their pain and your own.
Know yourself; trust yourself; and trust that others are responding in a way that is appropriate to them. We are differently made, and that diversity is a blessing. It is also a vital communal strength.
--The Rev. Barbara Talcott
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