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Just Kill Me
Behaalotkha
"in your going up"
NUMBERS 8:1-12:16
ZECHARIAH 2:14-4:7
PSALM 68
LUKE
12:13-33
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Torah Portion Behaalotkha: Just Kill Me
It is as if there are two Moses'. There is the energized Exodus Moses who rises to the many crises in spite of his humility and doubts: calling down plagues, giving instructions, judging, interceding, teaching, sanctifying, engaged in war...
Then the end of Exodus, Leviticus, and the beginning of Numbers seem to make time stand still with the assembly, erection, sanctification, and logistics of the
Mishkan
. Aaron's service, the priesthood at the heart of the Torah, take us to eternity where little, if anything, really changes.
Then there is Numbers Moses: insulted, melancholy, troubled, frustrated, angry, hopeless, helpless as in the case of
Zimri
...Moses even requests to die in the Torah portion. The change in Moses may be due to a realization that will eventually come to all leaders:
Where you refuse to change is
where choose you to die.
What you take in life in excess of what you need turns to worms.
What happened to Moses can happen to all of us, particularly leaders, whether of congregations, nations, families, or businesses. To understand the risk, let's simplify two of the three voices in Scripture [king, priest, prophet].
Moses is a prophet. Prophets are action-oriented. They react to the present time even though we wrongly pigeonhole them as future-oriented. Prophets warn us that things will happen in the future IF we don't repent. They remind us that we have the ability to co-author our future with the Father if we turn from our sins and correct the path.
The priest, however, nests in eternity, just like our "stationary" heart of the Torah. The daily service and feast services never change. They are exacting, prescribed rituals.
Moses, however, was a prophet forced to deal with time and changes...and lack of change.
To Moses, who had led the Israelites through so many miraculous events unparalleled in the history of mankind, something changes when the silver trumpets blow and the camp starts to move. Rabbi Sacks points out that a camp [machane] is defensive, a structure based on outside forces and what is happening to it. An
edah
, or congregation, is a religious structure that is creative and groups together with common purpose. It moves from within, and it is not defined by outside forces.
Edut
is testimony; testimony is based on experience.
Moses expects that when the people broke camp to move, there should be a significant change from within. They should be ready to "co-author" the future by right behavior and creative obedience and spiritual change. They could see the second chance of merging the eternal and natural realms of the Garden. They had the testimony of signs and miracles, and they should have been changed by those experiences, as well as the Divine Presence that rested within the camp.
But Israel had not changed. Their many tastes of eternity had not brought about an inner transformation.
They were enthusiastic about certain things, but the enthusiasm and flashes of faith faded to "normal." And there's the problem.
Normal.
Gravity is the natural force holding us to the earth. Normal is the soul-force also holding us down.
Which is why normal can be confused with life.
A
place in Exodus where Moses showed anger foreshadows Numbers when the subject of manna and meat arise again:
So it came about at evening that the quails came up and covered the camp, and in the morning there was a layer of dew around the camp.
When
the layer of dew
evaporated
, behold, on the
surface
of the wilderness there was a fine flake-like thing, fine as the frost on the ground.
When
the sons of Israel saw it, they said to one another,
"What
is it?" For they did not know what it was. And Moses said to them, "It is the bread which the LORD has given you to eat.
This
is
what
the LORD has commanded, 'Gather of it every man
as much as he should eat
; you shall take
an omer
apiece according to the number of persons each of you has in his tent.'"
The
sons of Israel did so, and
some gathered much and some little
.
When they measured it with an omer, he who had gathered much had no excess, and he who had gathered little had no lack; every man gathered as much as he should eat
.
Moses said to them, "Let no man leave any of it until morning."
But
they did not listen to Moses, and some left part of it until morning, and it bred worms and became foul; and Moses was angry with them
.
They gathered it morning by morning, every man as much as he should eat
*
Moses told them to gather as much as "each should eat." This phrase appears three times. In other words, no more than the daily need.
*
The measure for each person was one
omer
; on the 6
th
day, two
omers
.
*
They would do it "day by day." It would be a normal activity.
*
There should be no excess that would be left over until morning, similar to the commandment to eat all of the Pesach before morning or to burn the remainder in Egypt. They couldn't carry it with them.
*
The manna would breed worms and stink if gathered in excess...and they did. And it did.
*
This made Moses angry.
Moses' anger with the manna-worms gives context for his increasing anger and frustration with the Israelites in Numbers:
The people spent all day and all night and all the next day
, and gathered the quail (
he who gathered least gathered ten homers
)
and they spread them out for themselves all around the
camp.
While
the meat was still between their teeth, before it was chewed, the anger of the LORD was kindled against the people, and the LORD struck the people with a very severe
plague [
makah
]. (Nu 11:32-33)
Not considering the previous experience with quail and manna, the Israelites gathered
ten times as much as they needed "for themselves."
Before He sent quail, however, the Holy One addressed Moses' request to just be killed rather than go on with the Israelites. He put some of his spirit on the seventy elders so that the Israelites could see something related to their "soul's" complaint against the daily bread, manna.
The Holy Spirit, represented by the unchanging menorah in the opening verses of
Behaalotkha
, COULD change them and give them the ability to also be prophets and prophesy. They could be part of the transformation of the present, not chained to "normal," day-by-day, and see beyond the eating and drinking to the true nature of the manna and water. They were eating angel-food that was in the Garden, food that was so nutritious, it produced no waste products.
When they reverted to "false nostalgia," for Egypt to justify their lust, they were given a
makah
, or wound, blow, strike [
Strongs
H4347],
If then, you act with hostility against Me and are unwilling to obey Me, I will increase the plague (
makah
) on you seven times according to your sins." (Le 26:21)
Now think of how the plagues of Revelation come...in waves of
seven: seals, trumpets, bowls, thunders, etc.
The plague, or
makah
, came because of greed and lust. Although the Israelites weren't using money, the manna and quail were "currency" for their greed when money was no good. It was the medium of exchange. They had plenty of their own livestock to slaughter for meat, yet they wanted someone to give it to them. They'd become dependents, permanent campers, not inspired movers.
So
the name of that place was called
Kibroth-ha-ttaavah
,
because there they buried the people who had been
greedy
. (Nu 11:34)
אָוָה
avah
:
to
wish
for: covet
, (greatly) desire, be desirous, long, lust (after
)
desire
, incline, covet, wait longingly, wish, sigh, want, be greedy, prefer (
Piel
) to desire, crave (food and drink
)
The greedy people died and were buried, giving them the false "normal" they desired: Egypt. Abaddon.
Sheol
. Death.
Yeshua teaches this section of the Torah portion:
Then He said to them, "Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions." And He told them a parable, saying, "The land of a rich man was very productive. And he began reasoning to himself, saying, 'What shall I do, since I have no place to store my crops?' Then he said, 'This is what I will do: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, "Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years to come; take your ease, eat, drink and be merry."' But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night
your
soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?' So is the man who stores up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God." And He said to His disciples, "For this reason I say to you,
do
not worry about your
life
, as to what you will eat; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds!
(Lk 12:15-25)
So Moses was faced with a realization in the wilderness. In spite of every proof, miracle, and provision, most of the Israelites were not changed by those experiences.
They were enthusiastic only after a handout or miracle, but the good feeling lasts only a little while, then they need a new high. The handouts are not building their faith, but their dependency on an outside source. This stifles the creative obedience and faith of the
edah
, or congregation. It reduces them to a mere camp, waiting for an outside force to bring the next crisis. They fine-hone complaining and romanticize "normal" with a false nostalgia for the way things were, ignoring how dysfunctional slavery was.
Exodus was suited to Moses. He solved problems and technical issues.
In Numbers, he was faced with unchanging people. Years of complaining are too much even for Moses. The Torah could not provide the Israelites short, easy prescriptions for their refusal to change. If it is only technicalities, it is the mark of the beast, but not the
Ruach
. Add the
Ruach
to the written Word, and then there is a full menorah, seven branches of letter and Spirit fit for a nation in covenant to join the upper realm of the Garden to the natural realm of a fallen earth.
The wilderness exposed the beast, which is a hard enemy to defeat. After each test, he seems to resurrect.
"Only the years which a person leads a Torah-life are considered true life, for otherwise his existence resembles that of an animal." (
The Midrash Says
to
Bamidbar
,
p
. 107).
Spiritual transformation is difficult. The most critical part of the message in Behaalotkha is the menorah, the part we don't see, the hidden spiritual aspect of the 3
rd
Heaven, the Garden of Eden which was founded on the Ruach Adonai. In the church, we may have seen different acts as instant life-changers: going up the aisle to pray with the preacher, baptism, sprinkling, catechism, speaking in tongues, etc. The truth is that we continued to murmur, complain, and feed our personal lusts. Change wasn't as easy as walking down the aisle. It was the beginning.
Eve fell for the offer of a change-pill. The serpent says, "Don't worry about your daily walk listening to the voice of Elohim, just swallow this. You'll instantly attain all knowledge and be like the Most High." Most human beings would rather swallow a pill than change their diet, exercise, pray, sacrifice wrong thinking and self-entitlement habits, work hard, be patient...life skills...lifetime skills. No leader or single act can bring us to that maturity. It's painful.
After the ritual lull of Leviticus and its low demands, Moses knew it was time for the people to drop the slave mentality of being ONLY a camp, people on the defensive for what higher powers and circumstances were doing TO them. It was time for them to move with the power of the Divine Presence within the camp, the
Ruach
, and to begin acting as a creative, obedient force UPON those very powers and circumstances that opposed them.
Rabbi Sacks points out that Moses must have been devastated when he realizes the people have not grown at all, reacting to similar Exodus conditions not just as badly as before, but WORSE. Now they weren't just hungry, they didn't like supernatural food!
R' Sacks suggests these emotions (which emanate from the soul-appetite, emotion, desire, and intellect) are the usual responses to a demand for change, which feels like a loss, a bereavement, as if something has died:
*
Resistance
*
Denial
*
Anger
*
Sadness
*
Nostalgia (true or false)
*
A desire to return to the former place in time
He advises leaders that this is emotionally draining, so much so that even Moses, Elijah, Jeremiah, and Jonah prayed to die.
Where each Israelite chose not to change, that Israelite chose to die. The baggage of the soul must be dropped along the way in the wilderness, in "privation of soul." If there is no funeral for what was left behind, then there is a place in the present called
Kibroth-hattaavah
for that individual to die and be buried.
Others may refuse to bury their dead with anger, but anger at the church, or the synagogue, or the government, or their parents, or whatever targets they can reasonably direct their anger toward. This way, there is never a burial, so they still do not move out and change. It sets up impossible conditions for their own spiritual advancement. While they angrily or sadly wait for the systems of their past to change, they don't. The soul must be buried each day in order to resurrect on the next and move forward.
Change is scary, but what is even scarier is the normal we look back to or settle for today. Moses was a man of the future, a man whose heart was in the Garden. To be blamed for wanting the best for Israel was heart-breaking. He was a man with a heart broken between Heaven and earth.
This is the burden of leadership and prophecy. The majority have seldom been able to to make changes in the present in order to change the future. Instead, they look to economic, military, or ritualistic security to maintain their happy "normal." Those are only deceptions of the beast. The only way the future will change is with a life of change, excellence in the Word, and repentance. Leaders must lead anyway and not let the anger, sadness, and complaining drag them into a similar mood, such as Aaron and Miriam. Their complaint against Moses is also in the portion.
Adam and
Eve
took more than what they needed to walk with Elohim each day
. How much different the world would have been if they'd waited and walked with Him.
Our challenge is see what is hidden in our circumstances. It is an invitation to quit camping in the bellyaches about what people do to us, be very courageous in the power of the Holy Spirit, and to begin moving in the power of the testimony of
Yeshua
and the commandments of Adonai.
Where you refuse to change is where choose you to die.
What you take in life in excess of what you need turns to worms.
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