Back to School with Grief

Children and teens spend the majority of their time at school, and they take their grief with them when they go. For some, returning to school is comforting. They find support in the structure, familiarity, connections with friends, and the opportunity to focus on something other than grief. For others, it can be a challenging venture that brings additional stress, uncertainty, and worry.

How to help depends on a number of factors: How old is your child and what grade are they in? Who died in their life and what was their relationship? How did the person die? When did the loss occur? There's no formula for how the answers to these questions affect someone's grief, but they are important to consider as you sort through how to best support your child or teen in returning to school. Here are a few things to consider:

Make a difficult day safety plan: Talk with your child to identify what they need when they feel overwhelmed. Then, collaborate with teachers, counselors, and administrators to identify strategies for your child to access that support.

Find ways for children and teens to check in with you or other caregivers: After a death, children and teens often fear something will happen to other people in their lives. Going the entire school day without a check-in can be a lot to ask.Talk with your child and school staff about how they can check in with you at certain times throughout the day. This can be a simple as a quick phone call at the school office or a lunch time text.

Talk about school routines: If the person who died was part of a child's drop-off, pick-up, or after school routine, those times of day can be especially difficult. Ask your child ahead of time about these and talk about possible options.

Address challenges with concentration, memory, and school assignments: Grief can take a toll on our ability to focus and complete tasks. Work with your child and their teacher(s) to come up with ideas for trying to focus and keeping track of schoolwork.

Make time for recreation, play, and friends: Grieving students are still children and teens who need time for rest, relaxation, and fun. Play is how children, especially young children, process and integrate what is happening in their world. For many children, knowing they have dedicated time to spend with the adults they care about, no matter the activity, is the most important thing.

For more on back to school and grief, or for additional tips to help children and teens, visit our website.

The Dougy Center Hosts International Summer Institute

Twenty-six people, representing 15 states and Puerto Rico, joined Dougy Center staff to discover the fundamentals of developing and operating peer grief support groups. As part of The Dougy Center's International Summer Institute, attendees learned about The Dougy Center's grief support model; gained understanding about the needs of grieving children, teens, and their families; learned how to develop programs to fit the needs of their communities; and discovered best practices for fundraising, marketing, and volunteer development.

In partnership with the New York Life Foundation, The Dougy Center awarded four scholarships to Summer Institute attendees, including Lena Freed from Burlington, VT; Kathleen Bohannon from Wyomissing, PA; Viki Brown from Bremen, IN; and Kathleen Shine-O'Brien from Sandwich, MA.

The 2020 International Summer Institute is set for July 20-24, 2020. If you are interested in applying for a scholarship or would like more information on the Summer Institute, contact The Dougy Center at 503-775-5683.

While Back-to-School Shopping, Think of Dougy

Doing some back-to-school shopping or looking for easy ways to support The Dougy Center? Through AmazonSmile and the Fred Meyer Community Rewards Program, a percentage of your purchases can be automatically donated to The Dougy Center at no cost to you. It’s as easy as signing up.

AmazonSmile: The AmazonSmile program through Amazon.com automatically donates 0.5% of your purchases to The Dougy Center. It costs you (and The Dougy Center) nothing. It's just like shopping on Amazon normally, but you're also helping grieving children and families at the same time! Make sure to select The Dougy Center when you register.

You can also support The Dougy Center through our Amazon Wish List.

Fred Meyer Community Rewards Program: Fred Meyer donates over $2 million per year to non-profits based on where their customers tell them to give. To participate, sign up for the Community Rewards Program by linking your Fred Meyer Rewards Card to The Dougy Center here. You can search for us by our name or by our non-profit number QD638.

Every time you shop and use your Rewards Card, you are helping The Dougy Center earn a donation! You still earn your Rewards Points, Fuel Points, and Rebates, just as you do today. If you do not have a Rewards Card, they are available at the Customer Service desk of any Fred Meyer store.

For additional ways to give, visit our website.