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ellie krug
writer, lawyer, human
Human Inspiration Works, LLC
The Ripple
Vol 6 No. 6 June 2021
Inspired by the words and deeds of Robert F. Kennedy
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Happy Pride 2021!
Dear Friends:
Happy Pride, everyone! I hope you’ve been able to celebrate the power of human authenticity this month!
For me, Pride month has been a big fat blur. Six months ago, I considered myself lucky if I could do a couple trainings or talks a week. Unbelievably, several times this month I’ve done two or more events in a single day. Don’t mistake this for complaining—I’m exceedingly grateful for all the work, but wow, it’s made for a very busy June. (By month end, I will have presented 27 times…)
What to make of this sudden interest in diversity and inclusion/LGBTQ-welcoming training? Part of it is about budgets, with some organizations needing to spend allocated funds before a June 30-fiscal year end.
Another part is that with it being Pride Month, organizations want a queer (a good word) speaker to demonstrate their commitment to all things LGBTQ.
But I do believe one more thing is at work here: organizations earnestly want to foster positive, lasting change around diversity, inclusivity, skin color, “Othering”, and all the other things that separate us. Indeed, we’re just past Juneteenth becoming a federal holiday—proof that we can collectively recognize the historic end to slavery.
Assuming I’m right about there being a real push for real change, it’s something we should all take great comfort in!
Still, as I related last month, the winds of suppression are blowing strong. Just two weeks ago, Iowa’s governor, Kim Reynolds, signed a bill that prohibits teachers and state employees (including college professors) from teaching about systemic racism. (See here.) I fear that before long, there will be many places where my words and teachings (and that of other DE&I professionals) will be considered verboten, or even illegal.
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I can’t stress enough how dangerous it is to suppress inclusivity-related ideas. Please speak out against such suppression! It falls on open-minded humans to keep alive the idea that we must talk about the past (and it’s continuing skin-color effects) in order to go forward.
Finally, five years ago on the summer solstice, I began composing the very first Ripple newsletter. It’s shown up in in-boxes nearly every month since then. But note, as has been my past practice, I will take July off, so you’ll next see The Ripple sometime in August. Have a great summer in the meantime!
Remember, I care about you!
ellie
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Waffle House Compassion and Rippling |
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With this year’s high school graduation season, compassion showed up at a Center Point, Alabama Waffle House. That’s where high school senior Timothy Harrison had worked as a server for just a month. With his graduation set for May 27th, he had asked for the day off, something that store manager Cedric Hampton readily agreed to.
Thus, Timothy shocked Cedric by showing up for work at 7:00 a.m. on graduation day. When Cedric queried why Timothy wasn’t planning for the graduation ceremony, Timothy explained that his plans fell through—his mother had to work, and his father was estranged from the family. The graduation was set to occur in Birmingham, an hour away, and Timothy didn’t have a car to get there or the money to buy the cap and gown or clothes for the event. Hence, he opted to simply work that day.
That’s where Cedric put his foot down. As he later recounted in this Washington Post story, “I said, ‘Go home, get your paperwork, call the school, and we will figure out the rest.’ For me, it was a no-brainer. Graduation is one of those things you get to do once in your life, and when you’ve worked all these years…to have that moment, it’s necessary to be there.”
With no time to spare for the 3 p.m. ceremony, Waffle House team members sprang into action. One person drove Timothy to the high school to pick up his cap and gown, and another person went to Target to buy him graduation clothes. Team members each chipped in $40 to make everything happen. Even a couple customers threw in some money.
Timothy tried on his new clothes in the Waffle House restroom. He recalled, “I felt like the president,” when he walked out of the bathroom all dressed up. (Please check out the beautiful photos in the WP story!) After Cedric helped Timothy put on his cap and gown, “Timothy immediately lit up.” It was contagious too, making Cedric feel like a “proud parent.”
Cedric and other Waffle House colleagues drove Timothy to Birmingham for the graduation ceremony; however, Covid-related restrictions prevented them from watching Timothy walk to get his diploma, so they waited in the car. When Timothy emerged with his diploma in hand, he was beaming. He later said, “It was most definitely the best day of my life. The experience was amazing.”
An added wonderful ripple of compassion came when faculty members at Lawson State Community College in Birmingham heard of Timothy’s graduation story, they offered him a full scholarship. Lawson State president Cynthia Anthony said, “This young man…just showed perseverance and that he wanted something out of life…We just wanted to see how Lawson State could help him further his education and meet his career goals.”
Cedric was with Timothy when he toured the Lawson State campus and talked with administrators about classes and housing options. (Timothy plans to study business and computer science in the fall.) The chance to go to college—all because of Waffle House team members stepping up to help on graduation day—was “life-changing” for Timothy and an opportunity he’d otherwise never have.
Going forward, Cedric plans to stay involved in Timothy's life. “I am his full-time mentor,” he said. “I feel really good about what’s about to happen next for him. And I’ll always be there along the way.”
Isn’t it amazing how one act of compassion can spur others to be compassionate too? It all began with someone who said, “I’m going to do something to help you.” Compassion can ripple from there!
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Inclusivity Tip of the Month
The Value of Writing Words to Another Human
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I often get questions about how to be supportive of other humans—those who are diverse or who are simply struggling to survive the Human Condition. The questions stem from one of the things I regularly talk about—our good empathetic hearts. It’s just that many people don’t quite know how to exercise their good hearts.
My most common suggestion is to write notes or letters to let another human know that you care about them. There’s something magical and granular about putting pen to paper; it takes time by the note-writer and makes them focus. There’s the conscious act of deciding on a particular notecard or piece of stationary for the recipient. Finally, there are the actual words that one writes—prose like, “I am here for you,” or “I’m so proud of you,” or “I’m grateful that you’re in my life,” or “I love you and will do whatever it takes to have your back.”
In my office, inside a big cloth bin, I have several boxes of notecards with images of paintings by various artists, such as Monet (I so love his waterlilies!), Hopper (wonderful contrasts between light and dark and the tension of human connections versus loneliness), and Rothko (color, color, color!). I hope that when a recipient receives one of my notes, they also enjoy the artist’s work—a gift on top of a gift.
Most of all, in today’s world of emails and instant messages, receiving someone else’s caring words in the mail (or being handed to you or left at one’s door) truly touches people. The recipient appreciates the “trouble” that you’ve gone to--it makes them feel that they matter to you. Even more, now they have something to place at the corner of the breakfast nook, or on the nightstand, which allows them to come back to the note with its loving words time and again, over and over. Truly, that is a gift!
Everyone has the ability to write kind, loving words. You simply need to be intentional about it and then just do it! Reach out to me if you want to get started but just need some ideas; I’m always happy to help!
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Check out this wonderful story of a Detroit judge who gave a multi-time drug offender named Ed Martell a break by sentencing Ed to probation instead of prison. Inspired by the judge’s compassion to change his life, Ed went on to become a lawyer. Wow. Here’s also a story about a Massachusetts Harvard-bound senior who asked that her $40K in scholarship monies be allocated to low-income community college students. Finally, read about the teacher who, in the face of an oppressive school graduation dress code, took his shoes off at the graduation stage door and handed them to a student so that the teen could walk to accept his diploma (see story here).
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June has seen my work appear in the American Bar Association’s online magazine writing about LGBTQ allyship for lawyers; the Louisville Bar Journal re: skin color and white fragility (see here, page 20); Lavender Magazine (where I wrote about never retiring); and Minnesota Women’s Press, with "Hot Mess," where I share about my challenges around dating and finding love. I will readily admit that I’m darn lucky to have my words out in the world; my only hope is that they somehow make a difference in some small way…
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Sadly, the Shoreline UT junior high school cheer squad failed to include in their yearbook picture the team manager, Morgyn Arnold, a 14-year-old teen with Down Syndrome—as this story relates, the incident has sparked questions about inclusivity and decency. Here also is the website for America’s Black Holocaust Museum in Milwaukee; I came across this as I researched the statistics for hate crimes in KY. I didn’t know about the museum (which is presently virtual) and urge you to read up about it. Lastly, here is a long-lost ABC News interview of black author and legend, James Baldwin—his words about white oppression of the black community continue to ring true more than 40 years later.
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This month’s Relief spotlights the animal world and what we humans don’t know about how non-humans communicate or socialize. See this video of a pup and deer playing, and here’s a great clip of bees working in coordination to open a screw top. Finally, watch and listen as a webcam in MN’s wilderness captures a wolf pup’s first howl—magnificent!
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When an east Texas bakery created rainbow covered cookies in honor of Pride Month, the bakery was inundated with hate emails/social media posts and cancelled orders. That’s when hundreds of allies lined up to buy cookies and other delights, helping the bakery to sell out its inventory--see here. And too, there was the Wisconsin gay couple whose HOA required them to remove their Pride flag per association rules; they then imaginatively (and within the rules) illuminated their home in Pride colors—brilliant! A fledgling podcast, Infusion Health, is looking for followers (you can access their recent interview of me here). Please consider following them! Also, see this story of Hartford CT high school students who put on a play to highlight how divided the community became over changing the name of the school’s mascot, “the Chieftains.” My thanks to Ripple reader Joe Marino for the story!
Lastly, if you want to help me to do more work for organizations that lack budgets for training, please consider donating to Human Ripple Works, Inc., a nonprofit that others and I set up to train nonprofits/other organizations on human inclusivity. Thank you for that!! If you’d like to support this work, please click here on the HRW website.
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Finally....
The Ripple is a work in progress, so please, I welcome your suggestions and comments! Please share this newsletter with others, too!
Thank you for helping to make the world a better place! I'm at your side, cheering you on, I promise! Please have compassion for yourself and for others.
ellie
Encouraging Open Hearts and Thriving Human Spirits
Human Inspiration Works, LLC: We make "inclusion" an action word
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Ellen (Ellie) Krug
319-360-1692
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