A Reflection from our Clergy
Today is May 5. Some celebrate it as Cinco de Mayo, but it is forever etched in my memory as the day we learned that my brother died alone in a hotel room, by his own hand. Today marks the tenth anniversary. If he had lived another month, he would have been 50. Rob was adopted into our family at the age of 16 months. He had several different mothers—his birth mother and two foster mothers—before he came to live with us; that essential bond ruptured each time he was moved. Consequently, his ability to trust was never able to fully form—trust in himself, in God, in goodness, that mothers would not abandon him, that things would come ‘round right’ as we sing in the Quaker hymn,
Tis a Gift to be Simple
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The next morning, May 6, I stumbled to a yoga class. About half-way through, as I held a long downward facing dog pose and took a slow, deep breath, I could feel his spirit darting all around my legs and arms, as happy and free as I had ever felt him. Later, lying still in my final relaxation, my skeptic asserted herself. I asked the universe, “Was that really you, Rob?” There was an immediate Yes! So I asked what more I needed to know. And this is what he said: “Life is too short to waste any more time feeling ‘less than!’” Something he knew about and so did I. That’s why I love the final blessing so much:
Remember that life is short and we have too little time to gladden the hearts of those who travel the way with us. So, be quick to be kind, make haste to love; and the blessing of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit remain within you today and always
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I’m sad Rob had to die to feel better, but I do not begrudge his choice. I miss him and wish I could have gotten to know him better as we aged. I would have loved to share with him the recent death of our father and the ravaging of our mother’s mind by dementia. I’m glad he didn’t have to experience this pandemic. I can only imagine how the fear, uncertainty, isolation and claustrophobia might have challenged him. I pray he and my dad have found each other in the valley of love and delight.
Even at the grave, we make our song, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia.
Yours in Christ,
Ann+
