NEWSLETTER |February 2022 |
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New from the National Responsible
Fatherhood Clearinghouse!
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When we think of February, we often think of Valentine’s Day, a romantic holiday named for St. Valentine! Interestingly, there are several legends associated with the origin of this holiday. One of these legends contends that Valentine was a third century Roman priest. Emperor Claudius II had outlawed marriage for young men because he believed that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families. However, Valentine continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Claudius found out, he ordered that Valentine be put to death. Some believe that Valentine’s Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine’s death, which probably occurred around A.D. 270.
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Since 2010, perhaps as a nod to young love, the month of February has been designated as Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. This year’s theme is Talk About It. The campaign is a call to action for young people, and those who support them, to engage in meaningful conversations about healthy relationships. Because teens have limited relationship experience and don’t always recognize unacceptable behavior, it is important that they have adults they can talk to about dating. It’s also important that parents pay attention to any changes in the habits or mood of their teens. For example, changes in the way they dress, who they hang out with, and any signs of unusual anxiety concerning text messages or social media posts could all be warning signs.
According to Love Is Respect, dating violence is much more common than people think, especially among teens and young adults. One in three teens in the US will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse in a relationship before they become adults, and nearly half (43%) of college women report experiencing violent or abusive dating behaviors.
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A Pew Research Center survey in 2018 found that 95% of teens had access to a smartphone and 45% indicated they were online almost constantly. This level of access adds an entirely different dimension to teen dating. For teens in a relationship, 59% reported that social media helped them feel more connected with what is going on in their significant other’s life. However, 27% said social media makes them feel jealous or unsure about their relationship, and 7% said they feel this way “a lot.” Photos and posts can feed insecurities and lead to unintentional jealousy. Teens also admit to intentionally posting pictures to incite jealousy in others, often former partners. These online taunts can have real-life consequences.
Manipulative strategies may initially be so subtle, it is difficult for a teen to recognize the behavior as controlling. Abuse may start with non-violent abusive behavior such as cyber stalking. Teens need to learn to recognize unhealthy behaviors so they can develop dating relationships and friendships that are healthy and non-toxic.
There are resources available to support teens and the adults in their lives:
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Love is Respect offers an array of resources to help teens learn healthy vs unhealthy relationship behaviors. The website also offer resources for those trying to support teens who may be in unhealthy relationships.
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The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers 24 hour support by phone, chat, and text. Additional the website offers resources for individuals and organizations wanting to learn more about domestic violence.
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Parenting teens can be a challenging time. They are developing into the adults they will become. Balancing their need for privacy and independence with a parent’s need to protect and guide them can be tricky. Here are some tips to help:
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Communication is key to parenting in almost every situation. Make time to talk with your teen and not at them. Ask about friends and dating. Make sure they know they can talk with you about challenges.
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VeryWell Family offers lots of information for parents and families. Check out this article 9 Ways to Prevent Teen Dating Violence to learn what to watch for and how to intervene.
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Monitor social media use. Establish rules for use with young teens. Talk about what’s “okay” and “not okay”. Know their passwords for their phone and social media accounts. If you notice an adverse reaction to a post, ask to see it.
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Below are two resource we recently added to our library. One of the resources details how Black History Month was established, while the other explores the connection that Latinos may have to Black History Month.
Black History Month has been celebrated in the United States for close to 100 years. But what is it, exactly, and how did it begin?
The author, who has a Jamaican father and a Mexican mother, explains how the two sides of his identity often existed completely independent of each other until he came to really understand the fact that there are many people who look a lot like him. He explores how Latinos in the US can be more intentional about learning and understanding Black history, and how Black History Month provides a good opportunity for this kind of reflection.
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We are available by phone.
If you need resources or support, give us a call on our
Parent Help Line at 1-877-4-DAD-411 (1-877-432-3411).
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Many fatherhood practitioners offer supportive programs like healthy relationship skills for dads. If you work with dads of teens, consider extending discussions about healthy relationships to address teen dating. Practitioners can also:
- Take advantage of the resources highlighted above.
- Create a safe space for fathers to discuss tips for parenting their teens.
- Talk about setting boundaries for social media and teen dating.
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If your organization does not already do so, consider offering program services for teens to help them get off on the right foot with healthy relationships.
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Create a list of community resources that offer support for dads and teens.
Additional NRFC Resources
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Disclaimer: Reference to specific products, services, or companies does not constitute endorsement or recommendation by the U.S. Government, the Department of Health and Human Services, the Administration for Children and Families (ACF), or the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse. ACF is not responsible for the contents of “off-site” web page references or for any private, third-party, pop-up, or browser-integrated software or applications. |
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Upcoming Events
NRFC is monitoring events and will update our website and in newsletters if events are canceled.
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Our Mission: The goals of the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse are to provide, facilitate, and disseminate current research and proven and innovative strategies that will encourage and strengthen fathers and families and providers of services.
Our Resources: Visit the NRFC website for fatherhood topics and tools, news, and new publications, which can be found through the NRFC online library search.
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