“Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace.”
-Anonymous

“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying.”
-Dalai Lama XIV
As you begin 2022 you may be eager to start fresh, to let go of 2021 and align with your best intentions and hopes for the new year. Whatever hopes have travelled with you, there are likely many concerns which have followed you across the threshold too. And perhaps some, which feel like restlessness, unrelenting and unmitigated worry?

We’ve evolved to anticipate disasters, forecast future threats, and reflect on past mistakes. We are literally hard-wired to worry, and as human beings, worrying is an inevitable and inescapable part of our existence. Despite its evolutionary utility, our human penchant for worry can be quite harmful when it overwhelms or incapacitates us. If we are constantly beset by feelings of fear, dread, or anxiety, we may struggle to derive full enjoyment from life and our well-being may suffer greatly.

For many care partners, worry may be a familiar (yet, unwelcome) face. Care partners are often quite skilled at planning for the future and anticipating problems before they occur – and feeling adequately prepared for what’s coming can help us to feel emotionally safe and held – but the constant need to think ahead can come at a cost. You may start to feel emotionally exhausted, always on high-alert, always thinking several steps in front of you. Worry-laden thoughts can become an unwelcome focal point in our hearts and minds, and we might look to the future as something unknown and frightening. What if something terrible happens? What if I make a bad decision? What if I’ve already made a bad decision that will come back to haunt me?
The experience of worry is unpleasant, and understandably, many of us try to distance ourselves from this discomfort. We may figuratively “run away” from worry by becoming detached from ourselves or our relationships. We might escape through excess alcohol, food, or sleep. On the other hand, we might “run toward” our worry by allowing it to overwhelm us, relentlessly fretting and obsessing.

As an alternative to running toward or running away, a different tact to consider is “sitting with.” When worry strikes – and it will – meet it with gentle acknowledgement. With great kindness and care, practice accepting your worry. Do this without pursuing it or turning away from it. Know that painful feelings, like worry, will eventually pass and release us – they are fleeting and only temporary. It may be helpful to think of your worry as a wave crashing on the shore or a cloud passing in the sky. Worry is here now, but it doesn’t live here. It isn’t you. And when worry returns again, uninvited? Return, again and again, to awareness and to letting be. 

Questions for Reflection

What are your top three worries right now?

How have you successfully coped with worry and fear-based situations and decisions in the past?

Calling to mind all of the skills and strengths which have guided you through managing other decisions is one helpful way to disrupt the worry cycle. Then the work begins to reset intentions and return, with awareness, to letting be. It’s a practice of staying curious and building upon your existing strengths. From this vantage point, it may be easier to see your resilient qualities, and you may feel better equipped to respond to and tolerate seasons of worry. 

We hope you’ll join us this month for deeper discussion around this topic with other family care partners!
—Theresa Gierzynski, LLMSW
Wellness Initiative Coordinator
New Programs
CALM Conversations

Quarterly on the last Thursday of the month, 1 - 2:30 p.m.

January 27 topic: Recognizing and caring for grief
and loss in everyday life

CALM Conversations is a series of facilitated discussions exploring topics related to change and loss throughout the caregiving journey. Recognizing the presence and impact of losses while developing ways to include grieving in wellbeing practice is integral to connection, healing, and growth. The program is currently offered virtually.
Cultivating Creativity 
 
April - December, first Tuesday of each month, 10 a.m. - 12 p.m. 

Cultivating Creativity is a monthly arts program for persons living with memory loss and their family caregivers. Participants will enjoy an instructed and dementia-friendly art activity together. Projects include painting, print making, ornament and coaster decoration, and cardmaking among other activities. The program is currently offered in person.
Upcoming Program Registration
Catching Your Breath

January 10, 10 - 11:30 a.m.
 
Catching Your Breath is a monthly program focused on learning and practicing stress resilience skills for continued health, balance, and well-being. The program is for family caregivers of adults living with a dementia.
Mitten Minds Support Group
 
January 18, 3 - 4 p.m.
 
The Mitten Minds Support Group is a monthly support group for individuals with mild cognitive impairment or early stage dementia. The support group provides a space for individuals living with memory loss to meet and learn from others going through similar experiences.
Have a Seat

Thursdays from 12 - 12:30 p.m.

Have a Seat is a weekly guided meditation program. Would you like to receive weekly email reminders to join the program? Subscribe here to receive.
Protecting the Brains of Individuals Living with HIV

January 26, 10 - 11 a.m.

As part of our monthly speaker series, Kate Pierce, Dementia & Disabilities Supportive Services Program Director of the Alzheimer's Association - Michigan Chapter will present.
Living Grief

March to August, first and third Thursdays

Living Grief is a twice monthly exploration of grief for family caregivers of adults living with a dementia. A variety of topics will be discussed, including ambiguous loss, anticipatory grief, and relationship changes. It is strongly encouraged that Living Grief attendees will have participated in other Wellness Initiative programs.
Mitten Minds Education Series
 
April - May, dates to be announced 

The Mitten Minds Education Series offers a series of educational presentations for individuals who are newly diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment or are in the early stages of a dementia. The series provides important information, provides a space for questions to be answered, and to connect to other resources and support services available.
Soothing Word of the Month
Ailyak
A Bulgarian word for the subtle art of doing everything calmly and without rushing, whilst enjoying the experience and life in general.
Research Looking for Caregivers
New Study!
Stress and Well-Being in the Everyday Lives of Caregivers (SWEL) study

The Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan is looking for participants interested in the Stress and Well-Being in the Everyday Lives of Caregivers (SWEL) study. The purpose of the study is to learn about the daily experiences, well-being, and cardiovascular health of family members or friends living with someone with dementia in an effort to understand the impact that this has on family caregiver heart health. Family caregivers of any age who are living with and helping a family member or friend who has Alzheimer’s or a related dementia are invited to participate, and the study is completed in the home. Participants can receive up to $400 for taking part in this study. For more study details and contact information for the study team, visit the link below. 
Family Dynamics and Influence in Dementia Care (FDI-DC)

This study investigates how the availability and circumstances of family members influence the type and level of care over time. The study’s focus is to learn the social, financial, and health circumstances of family members of persons with dementia and how the care availability changed due to the COVID-19 pandemic. It also aims to learn about dementia care transitions influenced by changes in family circumstances. The study is recruiting spouses or adult children of an adult who received a dementia diagnosis at least one year ago. For more information and to participate, contact Bona Park at parkbo@umich.edu or 734-985-0526.
COVID-19 Coping and Resilience Care Partners Study (CARE)

This study investigates experiences among couples living with dementia during the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic to learn more about ways to help both partners live well together. The study is looking for couples (married or living together) residing in Michigan in which one partner has received a diagnosis of dementia within about 5 years or has early symptoms of dementia. For more information, contact the study team at C19carepartners@umich.edu or 734-232-4565. 
Identifying Factors Predicting ACcurately End-of-Life in Dementia with Lewy Bodies and Promoting Quality End-of Life Experiences (PACE-DLB)

This study aims to understand what changes might predict the end of life in people living with dementia with Lewy bodies (DLB). This information will help patients, caregivers, families, and health care professionals know what to expect in later stages of DLB. Study is enrolling individuals with at least moderate stage DLB and their main caregiver, and the caregiver must be able to answer questionnaires related to the DLB and caregiver experience. Study is conducted via Zoom or by phone. Contact Kelly Mattingly at mattinke@med.umich.edu or 734-223-9297 for more information.
The Wellness Initiative at the Michigan Alzheimer's Disease Center