by Shelley des Islets

I accepted the call to re-imagine the text for Ralph Vaughan Williams' Fantasia on Christmas Carols just a few days following the unexpected, tragic death of our son, Taylor. Perhaps it would help ground my suddenly untethered spirit. Only a few weeks later, I was in Florida providing comfort care to my mother in her final days, a period of indefinite waiting in which I began to consider the new text.

As I sat with and cared for my mother, time lost its hold on me and I was no longer waiting. I was simply present. I felt a singular knowing of the light and love that connects us all. I felt the tragedy of one death unwind itself to weave the peace of this coming death, and the two became one. In that oneness, I found the themes I wanted to explore in the new text: we move apart from one another as a function of our minds when ruled by our egos, and we view the world as a place to control. We come together when we release control and recognize the light and love that connects us all, and thus we change the world. This is the idea behind the Christian story of disobedience (separation from the divine), redeemed by a child divinely conceived and given to humankind as a guide back to paradise. Falling in love is a reminder that we are one. Forming a family is a reminder that we are one. The birth of a child allows us to feel our spark of connection once again.

My wife suggested I research Advent, which yielded much of the basis of the text. Advent is not just a time of waiting, the UU Rev. Robin Tanner suggests. "I don't believe that Advent is a season of waiting passively. Instead, this time in the Christian story is about expectation -radical expectations that undo the status quo..." The bible provided this guidance: "You know the time has come for you to wake! Cast off the works of darkness and put on armor of light" [Romans 13], and "Be on guard so that your hearts are not weighed down with the worries of life when the time of your action is required" [Luke 21]. In The Overstory by Richard Powers, the people learn from the trees that "control kills - connection heals." Writer Anne Lamott waited at the end of an internet rabbit hole to give me this: "When everything is falling apart around us, something new and beautiful is likely trying to get itself born."

The result of my research and my journey of waiting in presence will be sung on Dec. 15 by the choir and printed in the Order of Service. I hope to join my light with yours to draw the New Day near!