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Thankful for Struggle
By Bruce W. Buchanan
This column is a salute to struggle. We all deal with struggle in one form or another; from a daily frustration like failing to start the car on a cold morning, or something more serious like cancer.
I’ll even go so far as to say struggle is at the center of most of the stories we tell and the experiences we live. The story of Jesus is about struggle. Robin Hood struggled to stay free of the Sheriff of Nottingham. Most of us struggled taking the SAT test. Right? We love rooting for the underdog because of the struggle needed to succeed. Let me add David and Goliath to this list. Have you ever heard a parent say that raising a child is easy?
Let me take my thesis one step further. I believe that how we face our struggles determines the path our lives take. Our struggles either damp us down or make us stronger. They force us to take the easy road of compliance or strengthen us to face our fears and blaze another path. Struggle teaches us lessons in the valley that can’t be learned at the peaks when all is well.
Sports is a great arena to learn about the benefits of struggle. Both my son and daughter played team sports through high school and learned how to bounce back when an outcome looked grim. Not wanting to let a teammate down is a powerful motivator. Sports help build confidence, but also test us when we need to push against our weaknesses. These lessons teach us to solve problems in personal relationships and be more successful at work.
So, allow me now to tell two family stories. I have the unique honor of having two cousins who just released autobiographies within a month of each other. What are the odds of that? They have never met and live in different parts of the world AND manage to publish books at the same time. One is Buzzy Kerbox, the third child of my mother’s brother. The other is Alan Keller, the first child of my father’s sister. Both Buzzy and Alan used the struggles as children to become extremely successful adults.
Let me start with Buzzy. You have likely seen his picture in an advertisement. His family picked up and moved from Indianapolis to Hawaii when he was eleven years old. Buzzy was immediately drawn to surfing. Buzzy not only became a good surfer, but he went on to win international tournaments. Today he is a celebrity throughout Hawaii and the surfing world. Ralph Lauren discovered him in the 1980s and he still works as a model today. He also worked as a movie stunt man because of his skills on water.
Buzzy’s early home life in Indianapolis was tumultuous. My parents wouldn’t leave me or my brother over at their house. His parents got divorced soon after the family arrived in Honolulu. In his book
Making Waves he describes how he survived a freak injury when he broke both of his arms hitting the bottom of a swimming pool. His brother Robbie dove in to pull him back to the surface. Buzzy would go on to relive that death-defying experience surfing on giant waves, when the undertow would slam him against ocean floor. In those situations, he would be starved for air and need to find his way to safety, not always knowing which way was up.
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Kerbox and Keller book covers
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Buzzy surfing, from his book
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Buzzy, now in his 60s, still competes in paddle boarding. These are grueling marathons across long expanses of open water. When he was in his 30s, he paddled across the English Channel and faced threats of hyperthermia and unyielding ships.
Alan’s story is completely different. He overcame extreme childhood insecurities and fears starting with a dangerous bout of rheumatic fever at the age of four. He admits in his book (
Don’t Pull The Plug Yet: I Still Have Something to Say) that as a child he felt estranged from his own world.
“During my preteen and teen years", he says in his book, "I grew less and less self-confident, and more and more alienated…I threw myself into study and an alternative world of maps and stamp collecting.”
Alan is twelve years my senior, so I first knew him from family gatherings during my grade school years. We have stayed in touch over the years, but distance put more of a strain on relationships compared to today with all the modern communication conveniences. I watched his career from a far. Alan is extremely intelligent and was well suited for academia. Out of college he went to work for the United Nations as a world population health care specialist. His first assignment was in Mexico.
Over the years Alan became an international expert on issues related to populations and health. He made direct impacts on local cultures. Alan and his wife Carolyn lived or traveled through numerous countries on all the world’s continents. He studied the health care system in Cuba and worked in Yemen when kidnapping was a common danger. He was assigned to Zimbabwe in 1997 to advise 16 southern African countries on population policy. This is just a sampling of his many accomplishments. When he wasn’t assigned to a foreign country, he and his family traveled to one.
Both of my cousins built extraordinary lives. Lives slowed by tough early childhood experiences but fueled by a strong determination to achieve. Buzzy is a fierce competitor. His small frame was perfect for surfing. But he had to convince the native Hawaiians that he was worthy of surfing with them. Alan, usually the most knowledgeable guy in the room, used expertise and humor to win over the foreign leaders he advised. His early life struggles laid a foundation for a professional life of service.
We all have interesting lives and stories to tell. I hope that when telling your stories that they’re framed in grit. Sometimes that means you need to swim against the human tendency to focus on the negative. Just think, if you swim instead of sink, you might be able to get up on that surfboard with Buzzy! We can all be an inspiration to others.
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National Geo cover Alan and Carolyn
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Buzzy and Bruce at Turtle Bay
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Upcoming Lunch & Learn Events
Lunch & Learn: On the Benefits of Pre-Planning Your Final Wishes
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Flanner Buchanan
invites you to learn how planning for your final wishes may shield your family from unnecessary emotional and financial burden. Join us for a light meal and learn more about pre-arrangements, veteran benefits, cremation, burials, and more.
Please RSVP at (317) 912-3528. We look forward to seeing you there!
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November 12th - 6:30pm
Ale Emporium Pizza & Wings
8617 Allisonville Rd.
Indianapolis, IN 46250
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November 14th - 11:30am
Ale Emporium Pizza & Wings
8617 Allisonville Rd.
Indianapolis, IN 46250
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December 10th - 12:00pm
McAlister's Deli
1001 N. State Road 135
Greenwood, IN 46142
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December 11th - 12:00pm
McAlister's Deli
1001 N. State Road 135
Greenwood, IN 46142
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December 12th - 12:00pm
McAlister's Deli
1001 N. State Road 135
Greenwood, IN 46142
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January 7th - 12:00pm & 6:00pm
Montana Mike's
1945 N. State St.
Greenfield, IN 46140
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January 9th - 12:00pm
Montana Mike's
1945 N. State St.
Greenfield, IN 46140
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January 28th - 12:00pm
Claddagh Irish Pub
2539 Perry Crossing Way, Suite 150
Plainfield, IN 46168
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Peace of Mind, When It Is Needed Most
All it takes is a little time to get started. Most people find the hardest part of planning is just making the decision to start the process. We make it easy and families gain the peace of mind of having the plans in place.
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St. John Vianney Golf Outing
We are well into the Fall Season but wanted to share the memories of the St. John Vianney Golf Outing that we sponsored back in August.
The Flanner Buchanan team played 14 holes before we were rained out and headed back to the shelter of the clubhouse for supper. We had an excellent time and both Mark McCrocklin and Buddy Shea received door prizes. Our foursome of Dashley, Kirby, McCrocklin, and Shea took second place with a score of -13! Here are a few pictures from that outing.
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Cremation, Burial & Memorial Options
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Washington Park Cemetery Association is proud to offer personalized funeral and cremation services through our onsite Funeral Centers. The dedicated staff delivers personalized recommendations to help you decide on options that align with your vision, beliefs, and budget - choose from a wide selection of monuments, markers, vases, benches, and other custom tributes.
Why Choose the Washington Park Cemetery Association?
- Community: we are a locally owned and operated non-profit cemetery association that remains active in the areas we serve.
- Flexibility: we offer a range of ground, community and personal mausoleum options, plus cremation products and services.
- Convenience: many of our cemeteries host a Flanner Buchanan Funeral Center on the grounds for complete cemetery, funeral, florist, catering, and related services.
- Versatility: our Community Life Center is available for funerals, family, civic, and business events.
- Longevity: all of our properties have care funds to maintain the cemeteries—even after they have reached capacity.
- Confidence: if you move, your purchase is transferable to over 900 cemeteries nationwide through the International Cemetery & Funeral Association’s transfer program.
Contact our dedicated staff today at (317) 353-3752
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Upcoming Mass Schedule
Our Lady of Peace
9001 Haverstick Rd, Indianapolis
*2:00pm the third Thursday of every month at Our Lady of Peace Mausoleum Chapel, unless noted.
November 21 @ 2:00pm
December 19 @ 2:00pm (Christmas Mass)
January 16 @ 2:00pm
Calvary Cemetery
435 West Troy Avenue, Indianapolis
*2:00pm the third Wednesday of every month at Calvary Mausoleum Chapel, unless noted.
November 20 @ 2:00pm
December 18 @ 2:00pm (Christmas Mass)
January 16 @2:00pm
An Expression of Faith:
We are a community of faith in life and in death. We are buried together as a community in the hope of rising together from the dead into Everlasting Life.
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Cemetery and Flanner Buchanan Funeral Center
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