I wept. The only thing I could do was to cry out loud. After hearing that my son had terminal cancer, I felt I was like dreaming, or reading a sad novel or watching a movie. I couldn’t control my emotions, and I went to a restroom, locked the door and cried loudly for a long time. Who would have known? I became numb, the sky was falling and the world was coming to an end.
Jesus wept, too, and wept two times in the Bible. (John 11:35; 13:10) Jesus wept over the fate of Jerusalem, the holy city which was the symbol of all of the Jews’ dreams and would be destroyed by the Romans, pagans. But Jerusalem was blind to the upcoming disaster. Jesus wept over this city: “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.” (Luke 13:34)
Jesus wept over the death of his friend, Lazarus, and seeing how Mary and Martha wept for their dead brother: “He was greatly disturbed and with a profound sigh.”(John11:33) The tears were an expression of his love of Lazarus and his sisters. Jesus showed his feelings. He felt their pain. He was empathetic to their loss. Jesus was affected by the situations of people and reacted with strong feelings. Jesus allowed himself to be touched and endured the suffering.
Jesus also felt for me. He encouraged me to allow the tears so that through these tears I came into contact with my heart. Tears were a gift of grace from God, and their fruit is always joy (resurrection). Weeping arises from the bottom of our hearts and signifies an opening and softening our heart, the inner sanctuary. The gift of tears not only draws us closer to others, it signals our gratitude to God for giving us the primal emotions that come from the heart. Jesus invites us to trust our hearts and to accept our feelings. “Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy. He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.” (Psalm 126:5-6)
Reflection:
When was the last time that you wept? What happens when you weep? Do you let yourself be touched by the suffering of others? Or do you hide your feelings, so that you can seem calm to everyone? Be generous enough to yourself that you let your tears flow and trust Christ who weeps for you.
Pastor Seok-Hwan
