Re-homing a child
There are many factors as to why a child who has been adopted into a family might need a new home. When re-homing is necessary, parents may find a loving, therapeutic placement for their child through private agencies or groups, release them to the care of the province or state, or have them placed in an RTC. They do what is best for their child and the rest of the family. These decisions are hard and exhausting on parents and are not made lightly.
Parents do NOT "give up" on their child. They do NOT stop loving them. Trauma is horrible and harsh and places parents in situations they never imaged they would have to deal with.
Sometimes a family adopts out of birth order and the child victimizes the younger children, causing greater trauma to themselves and the siblings.
Sometimes a child is too violent and the child and family are in physical danger.
Sometimes a child is too emotionally hurt and traumatized to be able to function in a family setting.
Sometimes a family isn't prepared for the amount of trauma their child brings with them. Unfortunately, adoption and foster agencies often don't know or don't tell the family about the extent of the child's trauma and/or behaviours, and the belief is still around that the child "just needs love and a good home and everything will be fine."
Sometimes the physical, mental, and/or emotional health of the primary caregiver(s) reaches a breaking point and parenting their child is no longer possible.
Sometimes a child is placed in a family that isn't able to meet their emotional and psychological needs due to lack of outside support and resources, and it becomes evident that the child will not heal in their home.
Sometimes a child has abused or traumatized the other children in the home, and when this happens not only are the siblings not going to heal while living with their abuser, but the child will not be able to heal while living in daily contact with their victims. Keeping them in the family causes more damage and trauma to everyone, taking away the child's chance at healing.
Families in these situations don't "give up" their child. They make the most difficult and heartbreaking decision to let them go in order to provide their child with a chance to heal. Many of our children do best in a home as the youngest or only child where there are no younger children to victimize. They sometimes need a full-time therapeutic team to deal with extreme behaviours and aggression. Sometimes they need a place where there is no family setting that they view as a threat in order to begin their healing process.
