During the early days of the pandemic Safer-at-Home order, a homeowner in my town who lives along a popular walking route put up a yard sign and began posting a “Joke of the Day” on it. As no doubt intended, the jokes did bring a smile to my face—even when they were groaners. (Most of them were groaners.) Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but appreciate the gesture simply for the spirit in which it was offered during that time. 

In the same spirit, this week’s newsletter is devoted to a little vegetable levity, with a baker’s dozen of family-friendly riddles that are, admittedly, quite corny. Even if there’s no single vegetable that can consistently make people laugh, it hasn’t stopped us from trying to wring some humor out of veggies one way or another. If you fall in with those who hold the pun to be the lowest form of humor and prefer brainier riddles, skip to #11 and read on. Answers appear at the end.

And I must beg to differ with the proverb’s author when it comes to some of the humorous forms vegetables can take from time to time in the course of their physical growth. Years ago, you often saw tomatoes with gnarled faces or potatoes resembling teddy bears featured in seed catalogs: “Look at what our customer grew!” and nowadays you could probably lose a gazillion hours online looking at goofy vegetable images. This article is accompanied by a couple carrot photos from past gardens of mine. There's just so much going on underground...really, we have no idea.

0 Correct: Cabbagehead

1-3 Correct: Humble Pie

4-6 Correct: Full of Beans

7-9 Correct: Smart Cookie

10-12 Correct: Cream of the Crop

2 oz chopped pancetta 

2 c. chopped fresh tomato

1 t. minced garlic 

1 t. freshly ground black pepper, divided 

½ t. salt, divided 

¼ c. small basil leaves 

1 T. canola oil, divided 

4 (6-oz) trout* fillets, divided 

4 lemon wedges

Method:

Heat pancetta in medium skillet over low heat. Cook 4 minutes or just until pancetta begins to brown. Add tomatoes, garlic, ½ t. pepper, and ⅛ t. salt; cook for 3 minutes or until tomatoes begin to soften. Remove from heat, and stir in basil leaves.

Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add 1½ t. oil to pan; swirl to coat. Sprinkle fish evenly with remaining ½ t. pepper and remaining 3/8 t. salt. Add 2 fillets to pan; cook 2 minutes on each side or until fish flakes easily when tested with a fork. 

Remove fish from pan; keep warm. Repeat procedure with remaining 1½ t. oil and remaining 2 fillets. Top fish with tomato mixture. Serve with lemon wedges.

Servings: 4

Recipe adapted from: myrecipes.com

2 medium-sized cucumbers, sliced ½" thick, seeded and peeled in alternating lengthwise strips

¼ t. salt

1 T. soy sauce

1 T. canola oil

1 large garlic clove, sliced

¼ t. chili flakes

Method:

Place sliced cucumbers in colander, toss with salt and let stand for 30 minutes to drain out excess water. Rinse well and pat dry.

In a sauté pan, add canola oil and garlic. Cook on medium-low heat until garlic is fragrant. Add cucumbers, soy sauce and chili flakes; cook for 3-5 more minutes. Do not overcook or cucumbers will become mushy. They should still have a little crunch. Serve immediately.

Servings: 4

Recipe adapted from: huffpost.com

If you like garlic, you may especially enjoy this unusual way of preparing green beans, recently taste-tested in the Editor's kitchen and given two thumbs up by the household. Served with Moosewood's Asian-style Coleslaw for a light summer supper.

Ingredients:

oil for sauteing

1 t. garlic, minced

1½ c. green beans, sliced ¼"-½" thick

1 egg, beaten

Salt to taste

In a medium skillet over medium heat, sauté garlic in oil until aromatic.

Toss in the sliced beans and cook uncovered for 3 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Pour in the egg and scramble to mix with the beans, breaking up any largish clumps.

Season with salt and cook for another 3 minutes until eggs brown slightly and beans are tender-crisp. Serve hot.

Servings: 2

Recipe adapted from: thecookingjar.com

1 LB mixed radishes, trimmed

Kosher salt

1 lemon, halved

3 oz Piave cheese or Parmesan, divided

½ c. basil leaves, torn if large

2 T. extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for drizzling

Flaky sea salt

Freshly ground black pepper

Thinly slice half of radishes on a mandoline and place in a large bowl. Leave remaining radishes whole if small, or slice in half or into wedges if larger and place in same bowl. Season well with kosher salt and squeeze and scrunch radishes several times with your hands to work salt into flesh.

Squeeze lemon halves to get 3 T. juice; save one half for zesting. Add lemon juice to bowl and finely grate half of cheese over radishes; toss well to coat. Using a fork, crumble remaining cheese into bowl. Add basil and 2 T. oil and toss again. Taste and season with more salt if desired.

Transfer salad to a platter. Drizzle with more oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and finely grate zest from reserved lemon over.

Servings: 4

Recipe adapted from bonappetit.com