Dear Friends,
Our church continues to move through a troubled time, as we respond to the pending departure of our Minister of Music. I hear daily from members of our church community who carry pain or anger. Today I want to acknowledge my involvement in the process that has led us through this upheaval, my continuing regret for its awful timing, and my sorrow for the hurt that I have been a part of delivering.
In my first months serving the congregation I spent time learning the congregation’s Bylaws and Personnel policies. I noted some gaps and contradictions - for example, unspecified reporting relationships for staff, a call for evaluations but no clear process for carrying them out, references to a Personnel Committee but no commitment to ensuring a Personnel Committee is appointed. These and other measures are crucial for a church (or any organization) to have meaningful supports for employees, and a reliable process for managing and correcting issues that arise. These gaps and lack of clarity made our current situation even more complicated.
I spent significant time researching practices that churches similar to ours have used, with a plan to bring those to our Church Council for editing and approval. A small team had already done significant work in recommending Bylaw changes; I added my own efforts, and the Council began to discuss them in its monthly meetings. I earnestly wish that my first step had been to work with church leaders in appointing a Personnel Committee. Had one been in place, it may have been possible to avoid some of the pain we are in now - or at least to lessen it. It was a mistake on my part, to take time before ensuring a Personnel Committee was in place: a mistake for which I apologize.
For some members of our community, trust has been severely damaged. The hurt that I have been a part of causing will not fade with my explanations. I own that. I will be working diligently, and with all deliberate speed, to see that our church puts into place the practices, policies, and leadership needed. I pray that God, who bears the hurts of all the world, will hold us together.
Yours in Christ,
Pastor John
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From Our Church Moderator, Betsy Beck
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At the church council meeting last Sunday, I spoke about "wound care." Anybody who has ever cut a finger, broken a bone, lost a loved one, or dealt with adversity knows that we have to tend to these "wounds" in an effort to promote true healing.
Take, for example, the recent experience I had when a can fell off a shelf and landed on my toe. Because I had socks on, it took a while to realize that there was a deep gash. And it hurt. A lot. But still, I had to wash it twice a day, poke it and clean it until I was almost reduced to tears, and then recover it with Neosporin and bandaids. It took more than a month before I could step away from that routine.
One of the hardest parts of this was being patient while the healing took place.
In my time as Moderator, our church has gone through some big changes that have left some people hurt, grieving - "wounded." We find ourselves again in one of those times. So if I can carry the metaphor a bit farther, we need to tend to this wound. We need to uncover it, poke it, wash it, and recover it until the next time that we go back to it. If we are attentive to this, hopefully the wound will heal from the inside - true healing.
I am grateful to people who have contacted me to share their feelings; I am grateful to Pastor John for his spiritual guidance and support of the whole church community; I am grateful for the choir, and Lee and Barb Collins; I am grateful for the people who came to the council meeting last Sunday to share their concerns and ask their questions.
We will continue to have these discussions, choosing our words with care, and to try to listen deeply to each other. And we will continue to heal and grow.
Also, I wanted to let people know that I will be out of town for the next 3 Sundays. One is more local, the other two are for a vacation for Mike and me. Please know I will have access to email and hope that you will continue to keep in touch with me.
Thank you all for your commitment to our church community. And I wish you all a 2020 full of spirit, hope, peace, joy, and love.
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Sermon & Readings
This First Sunday after Epiphany, January 12, Pastor John's sermon is titled "Unexpected."
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Sunday School News
From Barbara Collins, Director of Religious Education
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Sunday, January 12:
Nursery Care (birth-age 4), Sunday School (age 4-Grade 5) and Youth Discussion Group (Grade 6 and older) will meet.
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Thank you ..... from Oaxaca, Mexico!
Your Giving Tree contributions helped the Simply Smiles Home for Children celebrate Three Kings Day!
We're told the kids had a great time, from enjoying a tasty Rosca de Reyes, or King Cake, to opening thoughtful gifts, and even riding a mechanical bull!
Alexandra Gross from Simply Smiles says, "Thank you for helping to be a part of these festivities, making a lot of children smile, and for being such a generous member of the Simply Smiles community.
With my deepest gratitude, Alex"
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MONTHLY NEWS & OPPORTUNITIES
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Several items have collected in our lost and found over the past year. If you know who any of these things belong to, please let us know! Contact Melissa in the church office (860) 435-2442 or email
sccmelissa@gmail.com.
Items not picked up by Feb. 1 will be donated to Goodwill.
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Cottage Dinners
You are cordially invited to attend a cottage dinner as part of Salisbury Congregational Church’s extravagant welcome for Pastor John and Angela Nelson.
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Deacon's Message for January ~ Submitted by Karin Noyes
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Several years ago, I signed up to receive a daily devotional from several sources. As you can well imagine, several devotions EVERY day soon proofed overwhelming and most of them remain unopened. They are still in my inbox – and sometimes when I choose to open one, I am blown away with how apropos the subject is for events in my life RIGHT THEN! Below is a Richard Rohr Devotional from this Monday. May you find “an embarrassing silence” in your day. – Karin Noyes
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An Embarrassing Silence
January 6, 2020
When I first learned contemplation in my Franciscan novitiate, I was taught a practice of silent, wordless prayer. Over the decades, I have learned there are many paths to contemplation, a myriad of ways to access nondual consciousness. (The Saturday practices in the Daily Meditations are our own attempts to help spread the good news of contemplation in many forms.) Regardless how we practice—with stillness, breath, observation, chanting, walking, dancing, calm conversation—contemplation calls the ordinary thinking mind into question. We gradually come to recognize that this thing we call “thinking” does not enable us to love God and love others.
We need a different operating system, and it both begins with and leads to silence.
Even through practices full of sounds and words, contemplation helps us access a foundational silence, a deep, interior openness to Presence. One of our faculty members, Barbara Holmes, writes: “An ontological silence can occupy the heart of cacophony, the interiority of celebratory worship. . . . Silence [is] the source of all being. . . . Silence is the sea that we swim in.” [1] And yet we’re often oblivious to it. Thus, the need for practice.
In my book
The Naked Now
, I call non-silence “dualistic thinking,” where everything is separated into opposites, like good and bad, life and death. In the West, we even believe that is what it means to be educated—to be very good at dualistic thinking. Join the debate club! But both Jesus and Buddha would call that judgmental thinking (Matthew 7:1-5), and they strongly warn us against it.
Dualistic thinking is operative almost all of the time now. It is when we choose or prefer one side and then call the other side of the equation false, wrong, heresy, or untrue. But what we judge as wrong is often something to which we have not yet been exposed or that somehow threatens our ego. The dualistic mind splits the moment and forbids the dark side, the mysterious, the paradoxical. This is the common level of conversation that we experience in much of religion and politics and even every day conversation. It lacks humility and patience—and is the opposite of contemplation.
In contemplative practice, the Holy Spirit frees us from taking sides and allows us to remain content long enough to let it teach, broaden, and enrich us in the partial darkness of every situation. We need to practice for many years and make many mistakes in the meantime to learn how to do this. Paul rather beautifully describes this kind of thinking: “Pray with gratitude and the peace of Christ, which is beyond knowledge or understanding (what I would call “the making of distinctions”), will
guard
both your mind and your heart in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7). Teachers of contemplation show us how to
stand guard
and not let our emotions and obsessive thoughts control us.
When we’re thinking nondualistically, with this guarded mind and heart, we will feel powerless for a moment, stunned into an embarrassing and welcoming silence. Then we will discover what is ours to do.
References:
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Partners and friends of the Congregational Church of Salisbury, UCC are cordially invited to a
Private VIP Preview
of the documentary, “UPROOTING ADDICTION: Healing From The Ground Up” on
Sunday, January 19th 2019 at 4:00pm
in the Parish Hall.
“Uprooting Addiction” is a mosaic-like portrait of six individuals, each affected by childhood trauma, who come together to share their stories and examine the life-altering events of the past.
Interweaving these personal stories with accounts of collective action from a diverse group of activists, officials, volunteers, caregivers, and experts, the ultimately positive message of the film illuminates a way forward through community, connection, and compassion.
The film runs 65 minutes followed by a 30 minute Q&A with the filmmakers.
Admission is free.
We hope you will be able to join us.
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Women's Bible Study meets on
Thursdays at 3:30pm in the Parish Hall Library.
Men's Bible Study meets on
Fridays at 7:45am in the Parish Hall.
All are welcome! If you are interested in participating in either Bible Study, please contact
Pastor John.
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If you would like to provide flowers for a Sunday service
, contact Linda Estabrook at
(860) 824-5896
by Wednesday of the week the flowers will be donated.
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Please contact the office if you would like to add a name to the prayer list, by calling the office 860-435-2442 or emailing
sccmelissa@gmail.com
.
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Click above to access our secure site
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Melissa Adam, Financial and Communications Assistant, is in the office Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday from 9:00-4:00. Her email is:
sccmelissa@gmail.com
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The Congregational Church of Salisbury, United Church of Christ
125 Main Street, PO Box 392, Salisbury, CT 06068
Phone (860) 435-2442
email: salisburyucc@gmail.com
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