I have been treating couples in Cambridge MA for over 30 years. I am also Clinical Director of the Hallowell Center in New York City. We also have Hallowell Centers in Sudbury Mass., San Francisco California, and Seattle Washington. The Hallowell Centers provide comprehensive diagnosis and treatment of ADHD and other learning issues using a strength based approach.
Almost every person who comes to my office for couples therapy has the same underlying belief, that if my partner would change our relationship would be ok. Even if this isn’t overtly said those who don’t believe it are few and far between. As long as this is the assumption the progress of the couples therapy is limited. For a couples therapy to be successful each person has to be curious about, and take responsibility, for the role how they play in disrupting the relationship. The truth is that we focus on what we can do to change the other person’s behavior, when in fact we can only change our own behavior. How much people are willing to focus on their own behavior really predicts how successful the therapy will be.
