There seem to be different stages in friendships. At first we are strangers, sharing information with each other at a superficial level. Then if we invite the other person to play tennis or share a coffee, we develop our friendship into the second level. We still don’t know each other well enough to share what we feel deep inside. We risk sharing our likes and dislikes with each other with caution. As we move into the third stage, we begin to feel secure enough to share our joys, to tease each other. Now we can call each other a friend. We meet each other regularly and are willing to share even our dark sides.
We deepen our relationship enough to build up deep trust with each other. We may struggle with the other party’s dark side. At first, they try to impress others by showing their bright side. But they cannot hide their dark side. It pops up unexpectedly. Then we are mostly disappointed with that hidden side. If we cannot transcend this stage, we cannot go deeper into the inner soul. The final stage is to embrace the dark side of the friend. As we have seen in the story, Beauty and the Beast, unless Beauty accepts the Beast, there is no chance for the Beast to turn into a handsome prince. When Beauty embraces the Beast with tears, the tears become a magic rod to transform the Beast. Beauty is ready to sacrifice herself for the Beast.
On February 12, 1993 twenty-year-old Laramiun Byrd was shot dead. The killer, Oshea Israel, was 16. Oshea Israel was sentenced to 25½ years in prison. Mary Johnson, Laramiun’s mother hated her son’s killer and considered him an animal who belonged in a cage. She was angry and became a recluse. She lived in this torture chamber of unforgiveness for twelve long years. A turning point came when she stumbled upon a poem: It was about two mothers who meet in heaven. They were sharing their stories. “I would have taken my son’s place on the cross,” said Mary. “Oh, you are the mother of Christ,” said the other mother, falling to her knees. Kissing a tear away, the first mother said, “Tell me who your son is, that I may grieve with you also.” “My son is Judas Iscariot who betrayed your Son, Jesus.”
Mary Johnson realized that she was in prison as much as her son’s killer was. So, she contacted Oshea Israel in prison. She wanted to meet him. At first he refused. “Why should I want to meet with this woman? She will just hurt and blame me.” But Mary Johnson was persistent. She waited nine months and then she finally met her son’s killer. These were her first words to him. “I don’t know you. You don’t know me. Let’s just start there.” She simply wanted to know him and listen to him so that he would let down his defenses. They talked for hours. At the end of this first meeting, Oshea asked Mary if he could hug her. When his arms went around her, the floodgates burst. She sobbed. From that moment, a bond started to form between Mary Johnson and Oshea Israel. When Oshea was released in December of 2009, Mary invited him to live in the apartment building next to hers. What a friend they are in Jesus! Mary Johnson crucified her hate toward Oshea, who killed her son Laramiun, on the cross.
Reflection:
What stage is your friendship if you have friends? When you say Jesus as your friend, what is the quality of friendship?
Pastor Seok-Hwan
