I realize for many of you when you see this title, you may be inclined to "delete" the newsletter or skip right to the gift of the month. It's normal to turn away from "dark", "negative", or "downer" topics and energy. I, however, have found that denying the pain of loss, change, death, grief hasn't been helpful in the long run.

Recently, I was reflecting on how my family processes grief/loss/death and the developing patterns from generation to generation. My dad's side of the family was extremely quiet in general, and got even quieter during times of death and loss. An eerie quiet. While I don't know and can't know what another person is experiencing directly, it sure seems like a lot of internal burning away. My mom's side of the family was more vocal with outcries, sobbing, wailing, deep guttural sounds, and mostly unfiltered expression of all emotions - shock, sadness, anger, denial, and grief.

Experts say there are 5 stages to grief: https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/

I've read, considered, applied and questioned this philosophy about grief for going on thirty years now. I've quoted it, taught it, demonstrated it, valued it, and doubted it, all at the same time. I couldn't directly relate to some stages of the grief model and admittedly I have NOT experienced the depth of grief of most people. I've been eager to live in the "Acceptance" phase, as it seems to be the most logical, practical, and reality based.  

While I don't have to like death, love death, or the losing of loved ones and loved things, it is crystal clear to me that accepting this is the way of it and is required of me and all of us. While our humanness naturally gets attached to people, jobs, health, children, professions, bodies, and relationships, we can assuredly prepare ourSELVES for the inevitably of change and loss. Prevention is NOT possible.

This is the one year anniversary of my mother's death/transition/passing.

Martha's mom, Virginia Creek

I've had three close friends and colleagues' children die from suicide this year. I'm struck about the way it hits me in my bones when I received the news. I also have a deep sense of relief, that the pain from the human, emotional, and physical journey, is complete for them too. There is deep grief and relief, both true and both very real parts of the loss. Pause with me please, and send an extra load of energy, prayers, love, understanding, strength, power, peace, and caring for every human soul, living and leaving.

On the topic of death and dying - on a recent trip, my nephew made the comment that when Aunt Martha dies there won't be anything to do. Perhaps we will all take a big fun trip. This got a big laugh from the family and friends who heard it. It struck me funny too and delighted me actually. What it literally means is that I am an organ donor and body donor, and have been since my very first driver's license at age 15. I've been determined and devoted to my family understanding this desire in me to use the body, all parts of it, to re-cycle, research, renew, or revitalize another human being who can benefit from it. 

It also caused me to pause and connect with him to see what his feelings about it were, as I have been very invested in getting "my way" all these years, and haven't been as sensitive and understanding with my family, and what their beliefs and desires were. It was a meaningful conversation and some reconciliation of our different beliefs, without either of them having to be wrong or bad. There was some "growing up" for us both.

Back row, Nephew Wesley, Brother Joe Dale, front row, me, sis-in-law Shirley, and momma on her last road trip to see Wesley in his dream job. Treasured time.

While I certainly don't claim to have a grip on grief, I can say that I accept the mystery of it. I encourage you to look at your own hearts and minds, and to tell you the truth about the losses you've had. I join you in honoring the humanness of your heart and allowing for ALL the emotions associated with loving and losing. I pray you know and have a safe haven place in your being. I believe we are all better equipped to serve others through their losses, when we've done a better job with our own.

On a lighter topic - Ready for retreat? Come join me in Big Sky, MT; Jupiter, FL; or Louisville, KY area this month. OR Unity Village in October for the ANTN conference OR cruise vacations in 2019. www.marthacreek.com has details.

May your heart hold love in new miraculous and meaningful ways - all aspects of your SELF. May all beings be healed. Here's my gigantic wholehearted hugs from me.

Love,

"Death, the greatest of mysteries of which we can relax."

~ Martha Creek

"Fear of death is ridiculous, because as long as you are not dead you are alive, and when you are dead there is nothing more to worry about!"

~ Paramahansa Yogananda

"After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can't take anything with us when we leave it."

~ 1 Timothy 6:7

"Every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying."

~ Martin Luther

"One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly."

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Uppa Creek Photography

For a complete list of Martha's events, please visit 

www.marthacreek.com.