Violets

 

Down by the rumbling creek

and the tall trees -

where I went truant from school three days a week

and therefore broke the record -

 

there were violets

as easy  in their lives

as anything you have ever seen

or leaned down to intake

the sweet breath of.

 

Later, when the necessary

houses were built

they were gone, and who would

give significance

to their absence.

 

Oh, violets, you did signify,

and what shall take

your place?

 

~ Mary Oliver ~

    (Mary Oliver: Devotions: The Selected Poems of Mary Oliver)

The Purple Violet:

Reaching for the Sun  during this time of facing the Coronavirus  

Sssh the sea says

Sssh the small waves at the shore say, sssh

not so violent, not

so haughty, not

so remarkable.

Sssh

say the tips of the waves

crowding around the headland's

surf. Sssh

they say to people

our eternity.

 

~ Rolf Jacobsen ~

 

                                                                                March 29, 2020

 

Dear MBSR Friends,

 

Do this as if your life depends on it for it surely does.

Jon Kabat-Zinn

 

In 2016, in response to notes from a number of our students, I wrote what  I called my Election Letter.  Today with the morning sun streaming in onto my hands as I began to write, I found myself wishing to re-connect with all of you and to write something about the current shock we as one world have received. The Coronavirus is serving as a reminder for me of the fragility and beauty of our planet and of we beings who inhabit it--something we seem to forget all to easily at our own peril. Those of you who have taken one of our Mindfulness-Based StressReduction classes or who have journeyed with Jim and/or me along your way,  know that I like to tell stories.

 

Now tonight, as dusk settles and I sit working on a refinements of the letter I began writing to you this morning as the robin sitting on a branch of a cherry tree at eye level with me outside my window eyes me with curiosity as it has been doing every evening at 6 pm since the human world quieted down, I am revisiting  a moment in my life that occurred many years ago. This memory is my touchstone for this letter to you. I was living in a graceful, old carriage house at that time, renting a space from an artistic family, who became like a second family to me. I was home after teaching school on a day not unlike today's sunlit day, briskly jogging with my gentle, black German Shepherd, Circe, down a long black asphalt driveway that ran through a wooded area and out onto the main road. She, the gentlest of beings, never needing a leash, was trotting a little way ahead of me and I was moving along at a rapid clip enjoying Spring about to burst upon us when my eye, suddenly catching something right in front of me, led me to jump over it. When I caught myself and turned around to see what it was, I realized it was a tiny purple violet that had pushed its way up through the asphalt and appeared to have actually cracked it open as it reached for the life-giving sunlight...In that moment, time seemed to stand still, just as today I've chosen to let time stand still as I feel our connection and write this message to you.

 

Sadly, the nature of our current challenge seems to be distancing many people from each other emotionally as well as in other ways. Relative isolation can lead us in unhealthy directions-one of those being fear, and another being anger. In light of that, I am including a moving and empowering video with practical advice about how to stay safe during this time. It is from  David Price, M.D., a NYC pulmonary and critical care physician from Weill Cornell who has an up close and down to earth perspective. In it he describes how to protect ourselves and our loved ones so as not live in overwhelming fear. One of my teachers once reminded me during another challenging time that, "Only love can cast out fear." (And for me that includes re-learning how to love ourselves as well as each other.) Similarly, E.M. Foster at the end of his moving novel,  Passage to India concludes by admonishing us to remember to "Only Connect." For me, this New York doctor's video is a classic example of the power of love and connection, as he personifies the heroism of our health care workers. And it raised the question for me of how we might use this time to re-consider how to better love ourselves, each other, and our planet. Margaret Renkl, has written about it this way in: One Tiny Beautiful Thing: When the big picture keeps getting darker, it helps to zoom in.

Recently, before sitting down to write, I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine who has a demanding job and lives on her own in New York City. In this particular conversation we found ourselves eager to explore what means we might initiate to lessen our chances of contracting the virus.  As the conversation progressed, we found ourselves (full disclosure...she had taken our MBSR class long ago) agreeing that one of the most important things all of us could do, is to  try to build a healthier immune system for ourselves and the planet. We agreed that our East coast lifestyle can get out of control, requiring working nights and on weekends (if we have work at all), over-entangling us with modern technology, and now especially, listening to too much news. And this is happening even as we try to figure out how to get supplies, how to adapt to this moment's way of life, and how to take care of our families. Allison Glock addresses the latter in her piece:  Now I Finally Understand What My Grand-Parents Knew.  Too often we are not eating well or getting enough sleep as our lifestyles carry us farther away from the healing power of nature, exercise and good food. In terms of food, along with air, sunlight, and the food we eat, we agreed that the impressions we take in from the constant (but to a limited extent necessary) news feed is too often the worst part of our diet. 

 

Some of you may well remember that a favorite quote of mine from Thich Nhat Hahn is part of a story he tells about how when the Vietnamese people were frantically trying to escape from the Vietcong. He said that as they were trying to get their family, their friends, even their pets, onto anything that would float whether a small leaky boat or even a door, "If one person in the boat could remain calm it meant the difference between life and death for everyone in the boat." In thinking about how this ties into the wish to strengthen our immune systems, I thought about how learning to deeply relax is a key to this. Regarding practicing  Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, there has been serious research validated by the National Institute of Health which has demonstrated its impact on reducing levels of stress-related hormones and inflammatory compounds, suggesting that subjects' bodies had become physically better at handling stress. 

 

And, of course, there are many other important things that can positively affect our immune system and are within our power to do, such as connecting with Nature. Exercising (whether inside or outside)also has important benefits.) If you can walk outside, even a short stroll in the woods or a park has been shown to be beneficial. A small study in The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences revealed that urban residents who walked for 90 minutes in nature had lower self-reported scores on rumination-overthinking or hyper-focusing on a negative situation than those who walked in a city. (And walking in a park in a city has beneficial results as well...preferentially without being distracted by electronic devices, and remembering to keep your distance.)  Since not everyone can do this so easily,  Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction which has long been empirically validated for its numerous health benefits, can be an invaluable adjunct to any wellness program you may undertake.  One might consider the benefits of mindful walking, even around a small apartment, if that is all that's possible.

 

Another study in the journal  Environmental Health and Preventive Medicine even found that people who sat and looked at a forest for 15 minutes, then spent 15 minutes walking in it, showed lower levels of salivary cortisol, a lower heart rate, and lower blood pressure than people who walked in an urban environment.  In addition, I have written before about the Nobel prize winner, Elizabeth Blackburn, (with Elisa Epel, MBSR instructor's, help) provided research revealing that practicing MBSR resulted in increased telomere length at the end of the chromosomes of highly stressed parents who were caring for handicapped children. (Telomere length has been shown to be significantly correlated with length of life.) Also, recently, I heard Dr. David Agus, speak about the health benefits of not eating (mindlessly-my word) between meals and also of our walking each day, even around a small apartment, because, as he put it, "the rhythmic contractions of the muscles in your legs actually contribute to making the rest of your body and organs work."

 

By now, most of you dear readers know that MBSR calls us to turn toward the moment, the way I turned toward and was so deeply struck by the purple violet's pushing right through the black asphalt to reach toward the energizing power of the sun. We who are in a place on the globe where we can be in touch with the miracle of life awakening this Spring, and perhaps are even able to take walks outside, have the capacity to be touched by the beauty of  the natural life of which we are part  even if we are only able to stay mainly within the bounds of our own yard or neighborhood.  Many of our MBSR students have shared how the attending to something small "in the moment," in our homes, even something as simple as the handwashing we're all doing, can be energizing.

 

The first student shared the following:

 

In terms of getting grounded in, and opening to one's life, an art historian and music teacher, after practicing mindfulness for only a few weeks, commented that a mindful approach to living had some very unexpected and tangible benefits. She said that practicing mindfulness had helped her realize that she had become entrained to the automatic rhythms of her life. Now while walking through her neighborhood, she suddenly found herself noticing details of homes that she had just been passing by for many years. She also described as exquisite an experience of holding a bar of Dove soap in her hand (something that she had been doing for 20 years) and suddenly receiving a new impression of its shape, softness, whiteness and foaming bubbles in her hand, as if for the first time. 

 

The second student was from our winter class this year, which we were graced to be able to conclude just before we began to shelter in place. Hers is a more current tale of what she discovered when washing our hands:

 

I press down on the soap pump to put a small amount of soap in my hand. I bring my hand to my nose and smell the soap and let some of it drip down my hand. The water pressure is perfect as is the temperature as I put my first hand under the water.  I now gently rub both hands together and small bubbles appears. As I continue to rub my hands together the bubbles became larger. I smell my soapy hands and continue to move them together, cupping them and crossing my fingers throughout. I continue to do this for about a minute as the bubbles grow larger and the scent of the soap continues to reach me. I now begin to rinse my hands as a small waterfall forms and removes the soap... now the back and front of my hands are gently rinsed. I carefully shake the extra water off and now gently tap my hands dry with one last smell of the soap. The whole experience becomes a delightful surprise.

 

Another student, an anesthesiologist, shared that she had, in rushing off to work each morning, customarily run by the koi goldfish pool in her garden as she hurriedly tossed some fish food into it. She shared that since practicing what we call the body scan regularly and experiencing the slowing down of her own habitual rhythms, she had begun to discover the power of pausing at the pool for even five minutes each morning and just simply sitting and watching the fish after she fed them. She was startled by the renewal she experienced from this daily brief visit with her fish and herself.

 

Lest I close with you, gentle reader, thinking that I am suggesting that we all simply try to meditate away our challenges at this moment, let me conclude with some thoughts I shared with our most recent MBSR class which completed its customary eighth sessions just before before shelter in place went into effect. I spoke about knowing full well that this is not a time for "kidding around," or making light of the challenges we as a species face. What I am remembering is that pain and fear can too easily lead us to contract into small parts of ourselves and that we are each a miraculous being...and that our greatest peril is to forget that, as well as to forget that we are all part of a larger world where everything and everyone is inter-connected.

 

May we recognize that our minds can too easily tell us many unhelpful stories about the meaning of the challenges that arise in our lives as well as about us ourselves, but that, like the Samurai in the Japanese film, The Seven Samurai, we need now more than ever to be true warriors--ready for anything. Yes! This is not a time for kidding around! May we be skillful warriors...in the sense of knowing when to soften, save our energy, restore ourselves and step aside, and when and where to strike or take serious, intelligent action...all the time allowing our hearts to open so that our senses may become clear...and our actions skillful.

 

We Are the Ones We Have Been Waiting For  

(The Hopi Elders' Prophecy, 6/8/2000)

 

You have been telling people that this is the Eleventh Hour,

Now you must go back and tell the people this is The Hour.

And there are things to be considered...

 

Where are you living? What are you doing? What are your relationships?

Are you in right relation? Where is your water?

Know your garden. It is time to speak your truth. Create your community. Be good to each other. And do not look outside yourself for your leader.

 

Then he clasped his hands together, smiled and said, "This could be

a good time! There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great

and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold

on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer

greatly.

 

Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go

of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open,

and our heads above the water.

 

And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate. At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, least of all ourselves. For the moment

that we do, our spiritual growth and journey come to a halt.

 

The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! Banish the word

'struggle' from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

 

We are the ones we've been waiting for.

Ahh!  The Dedication...always the dessert when I complete a newsletter.

(And how fitting that as dusk is falling "my" robin(or am I his?) is sitting on his branch outside the window watching me.) First. let me say that I am so deeply grateful to Dave Kapferer, without whose help, no matter the challenges, this newsletter could not happen!  He came into our life after the loss of our lifelong gentle and brilliant friend, Joel Remde, who helped us get MBSR off the ground in NJ, meeting all our artistic and technological needs and so much more as each challenge arose. When Joel passed away, the loss was silencing for us, both innerly and outerly.  Shortly afterwards, Dave miraculously appeared in our life, with all his warmth skill and generosity! Without skipping a beat, Dave has been with us ever since. He puts together all the pieces of the newsletter for us, always with top flight technological skill, an artist's superb eye and a true friend's caring heart. In addition, our son, Triston, is the calm center of our program, who with sensitivity and intelligence makes the trains run on time, sends the newsletter out to all of you, runs everything for our actual classes, and trouble shoots whatever challenges arise. And let me not forget our many precious alumni who have helped us in so many ways, not the least of which has been helping us get our Introductory Talks and Classes off the ground with grace, generosity and caring.

But, today, I wish to make a very special  Dedication of this newsletter to my friend of forty years,  Gladys Remde, Joel's mother, who died yesterday at 98 years of age, and to whom, thanks to her two surviving children, I was able to speak on the phone before she died. She was one of the artists whose Carriage House I described living in at the beginning of this newsletter. She taught Pottery classes in Morristown, but she was so much more than that. She was a true artist, a lifelong spiritual seeker, and most of all, someone who generously helped many, many people find their way in life. One of the many hand-painted holiday cards she sent us is framed on my bedroom wall. I have it here beside me. It is a water color of a beautiful bright mandala with the following words included, so perfect for the time in which we are living, and so I share it with you. May she make this last part of her journey with ease: