July 30, 2018
Group Meeting Schedule on Saturday, August 4, 2018
The Men's Group
10:15 to 11:30 AM

The Relationship Group
11:45 AM to 1:00 PM

The Dynamic Psychotherapy Process Group
1:15 to 2:30 PM 

The Water Garden Business Center
23421 South Pointe Drive, Suite 130
Laguna Hills, CA, 92653



Reminder: The first installment of the Parenting Webinar Series ( "The Four Tiers of Relational Engagement Between Parent and Child") will be on Tuesday, August 7, 10:00 to 11:00 AM ( register here ) 

The Relationship Group: What Really Is Narcissism? Overt, Covert and Implicit Expressions * 11:45 AM to 1:00 PM
Although narcissism has received much attention in the media and popular culture, it remains misunderstood and often incorrectly described. Fundamentally, narcissism is an unconscious defensive strategy developed early in childhood to protect against further interpersonal/relational injury. The typical child has a normal and appropriate need for love, empathy and support from the caregiver (i.e., to be "seen" and "reflected" by the caregiver) that has gone unnoticed or has been ineffectively responded to. If this happens over and over again, the child hardens in despair and shame and constructs an armor to protect against further injury. 

In adulthood, this narcissistic armor may be expressed in numerous forms but the common denominator of all of them is to control and manipulate the object of affection so that additional injury does not occur. As narcissistic defenses are employed with success, the person employing them gradually loses the capacity for intimacy and personal growth.  In the next meeting of the Relationship Group on Saturday August 4, 2018 (11:45 AM to 1:00 PM ), I will clarify the psychological underpinnings of narcissism and describe the forms of expression of narcissism in romantic relationships. I will also continue to expand on an idea that emerged in our last group meeting: that exposure not only to narcissistic people but to narcissistic situations is a common experience throughout adulthood. I will illustrate how narcissistic experience -- if it is identified and approached meaningfully -- can be used as a source of self-realization and personal evolution.    
The Men's Group: Narcissistic Strivings and Male Shame: The Ego Ideal * 10:15 to 11:30 AM
The ego ideal is a Freudian concept that refers to the mind's organization around a "preferred self." Forming early in development, this vision of one's identity is a double-edged sword: it motivates the child to become something it not yet is, while simultaneously creating the likelihood for disappointment as this ideal is rarely achieved. Mid-life is often the time when most men compare their ego ideal with the reality of their circumstances. Typically, expectations do not match where a man has come in his life, often leading to a surge of narcissistic disappointment, shame, and self-punitive attitudes and tendencies. 

On the other side of the coin, some men realize they have far surpassed their ego ideal, which may unfortunately result in a kind of narcissistic fog in which aims, goals, and authentic self-defining values lose form. Almost alien to himself, the high-achieving man feels unanchored. In the next meeting of the Men's Group on Saturday, August 4, 2018 (10:15 to 11:30 AM) , we will unpack the notion of the ego ideal and its association with self-regard, self-esteem, and the intense inner audit men experience at mid-life.  
The Dynamic Psychotherapy Process Group 1:15 to 2:30 PM
This therapy group utilizes the emerging dynamics among group members, and between the group members and facilitator, as a basis from which to examine one's characteristic ways of thinking, feeling, and relating to others.  Our next group session will be on Saturday, August 4, 2018 (1:15 to 2:30 PM).  A second process group that will be meeting on a weekday evening at my Newport Beach office is starting soon; interested persons may contact me directly at 949-338-4388 or [email protected] for more information.  
* If you would like to attend the Men's Group and/or the Relationship Group on August 4, 2018, please RSVP to me at 949-338-4388 or  [email protected] . There is a limit of 14 attendees for each group and registrants will be accommodated on a first-come/first-serve basis. The fee is $25.00. 

Location:
The Water Garden Business Center
23421 South Pointe Drive, Suite 130
Laguna Hills, CA, 92653

Please note that the Men's Group and the Relationship Group are psychoeducational in nature, not therapeutic, and do not constitute psychotherapy or counseling. In contrast, the Dynamic Psychotherapy Process Group is a therapeutic experience and entry occurs only after a pre-group screening interview.
James Tobin, Ph.D., PSY 22074 | 949-338-4388 |   [email protected]