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Dear Parents,
It has been a busy but spiritual three days of school here on campus. On Monday, students in 4th grade completed their very own Iditarod circuit thanks to the help of parents and teachers! Mrs. O'Rourke, Mrs. Bauer, Mrs. Lynch, Miss Cox, and Miss Hancock have worked for weeks on research and lessons to help students understand the rigors of this annual event.
Students in grades 3 to 8 participated in the Sacrament of Reconciliation this morning in preparation for this holiest weekend. 7th Grade students enacted the Stations of the Cross for PreK students this morning to help them gain a better understanding of Jesus' journey. In the afternoon, 8th Grade students placed themselves at points around the parking lot for students to pray a walking Stations of the Cross. It is a beautiful contemplative experience that teachers and students look forward to annually.
We began Easter Break today at 3:30 dismissal and resume classes on Monday, April 9. The STM Blast will not be published next week.
I pray that you enjoy a safe, restful, and Holy Easter.
God Bless,
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STM CATHEDRAL NAMED
BEST PLACE OF WORSHIP
We are very pleased to announced that St. Thomas More Cathedral has been voted the
Best Place of Worship in the Sun Gazette 2018 Best of Arlington!
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STM CATHEDRAL HOLY WEEK SERVICES
Wednesday March 28, 2018
Confession
at 6:30pm - 8:00 p.m.
Holy Thursday March 29, 2018
Mass of the Chrism at 10:30 a.m.
Mass of the Lord's Supper at 7:30 p.m.
Adoration from 9:00 p.m. to midnight.
Good Friday March 30, 2018
Confessions from 1:00-2:00 p.m.
Solemn Liturgy at 3:00 p.m.
Stations of the Cross (English) at 7:30 p.m.
Stations of the Cross (Spanish) at 8:30 p.m.
Holy Saturday March 31, 2018
Confessions at 11:00 a.m.-12:30 p.m.
Blessing of Easter Food Baskets 1:00 p.m.
(There will be NO 5:30 p.m. Mass.)
Saturday Vigil Mass at 8:30 p.m.
Easter April 1, 2018
Saturday Vigil Mass at 8:30 p.m.
Sunday Masses at 8:00, 9:30, 11:15 a.m.
1:00 (Spanish), 5:00 p.m.
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MEATLOAVES FOR THE HOMELESS
This Thursday, March 29, is the 5th Thursday of the month and the day that the Cathedral Council and STM Parish provide meatloaves for the homeless served by Christ House.
Please remember to bring your gift of a meatloaf or meatloaves to the rectory between 10:00 a.m. and 2:00 p.m on Wednesday, March 28. If this time slot does not work for you, please contact Ed and Daisy Finney at
(703) 521-3567
to arrange for an alternate delivery time.
Ed and Daisy have been leading this important social ministry, providing food for the homeless and needy, for several years. Let's give them our full support.
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STM ADVANCED BAND NEWS
The St. Thomas More Advanced Band performed a great concert on Saturday at the Arlington Diocese Band Festival. The band was awarded two Superior ratings from the judges, and was assessed as an outstanding band in the diocese. These ratings mark the 40th time that our band has been awarded the highest rating given at the festival. Both the beginner and the advanced band are getting ready for another exciting performance at the band competition in Hershey/Lancaster- PA.
Outstanding performance everyone!~~ Barry Ward
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INVITE OUR LADY OF FATIMA FOR A VISIT
Is your child preparing to receive a Sacrament this year? Consider inviting the "Pilgrim Virgin" to your home for a week to seek her intercession for your child and your family. Two Legion of Mary members will visit and pray the Rosary and other prayers with you and your family when they bring the "Pilgrim Virgin" to your home. They will also recite prayers with you and your family on her departure. The "Pilgrim Virgin" statue is 27 inches in height. If interested, please contact Mr. and Mrs. Finney
(703- 521-3567) or the Rectory (703-525-1300). The Legion of Mary provides this service as part of its mission. No donations are requested.
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The Cathedral of St. Thomas More Vacation Bible School is a fun and energetic week where children learn about Living in the Kingdom of God. For children going into kindergarten through fifth grade, each exciting day will be packed with music, teaching, skits, games, crafts, snacks, and more. The Cathedral Religious Education Program will be offering two camps this summer to be held in Burke Hall:
- June 25 - 29, 2018 from 9:00 am - 2:00 pm
- July 9 - 13, 2018 from 9:00 am to 2:00 pm.
We hope your child can join us!
Cost:
The cost of program is $50.00 per camper per week. There are multi-student discounts as well. Campers can sign up for both weeks.
How to Register:
There are two ways to register - download the Registration Form or use this link to
Register Online
. This year we are also offering online credit card payments through Faith Direct.
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Parenting by Dr. Rene News
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Parenting Workshop Schedule
Positive Discipline Morning Series
Thurs. Apr. 5 - May 24 9:20 - 10:20am
Positive Discipline Evening Series
Tues. Apr. 10 - May 1 7:00 - 9:00pm
Positive Discipline 1-Day
Sat. Apr. 14 9:00am - 3:00pm
Encouraging Independence & Responsibility
Wed. Apr. 18 7:00 - 9:00pm
Learning through Play
Thurs. Apr. 26 8:00 - 9:00pm
Children's Anger & Frustration
Sat. Apr. 28 9:00 - 11:00am
Raising an Only Child
Sat. May 12 9:00 - 11:00am
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How Choices Work in Positive Discipline
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When offering choices in discipline, the goal is to offer two positive choices for the child that both meet your goal in parenting.
Choices work because the child gets to have some power. Choices elicit cooperation; the child willingly does what you want her to do because she gets to make a decision.
The choices don't have to be important ones. For that child who is hesitant to take medicine you could offer, "Would you like it with juice or water?" The next night ask, "Standing or sitting?" The next night ask, "In the kitchen or in the bathroom?" None of these choices are terribly important in the process, but they tend to gain compliance for the parenting goal of downing the medicine.
To be fair, both options must be good for the child. Steer clear of offering one positive and one negative option. I think of Alicen who makes a lot of noise throughout the day; she hums and whistles and sings. By the end of the day, it can be a bit much. When we are all in the kitchen getting ready for dinner, I might say, "You can do that in here very quietly or out in the foyer loud." Neither of those options is particularly bad. If I offered one positive and one negative, I might say, "You can do that in here quietly or go to your room." In this case, my language is manipulative. I am saying, "Here is a bad and here is a good; now which do you want?" Children typically understand this and think, "Well, duh! Nobody wants the bad." They are forced to choose the one you want them to choose. That is not a choice; it is a consequence and should be stated as such: "If you do not quiet down, I will send you to your room." When there is one positive and one negative, it is a given what will happen; it is not a choice. Rather than provide a false choice that is actually a consequence like "You can mow the lawn today or be grounded; which do you want?" parents will get better results by stating the cause and effect clearly: "If you do not mow the lawn, I will ground you."
In most discipline, choices come after any needed "I" messages or empathy but before consequences. As you enter into discipline, it is best to address emotions first. Help yourself and your child to calm and manage emotions before you try to discipline or to fix the situation. Once that is done or if that is not needed, think choices before consequences. Choices work because they elicit cooperation. Children are often happy to do the thing you want them to do. Negative logical consequences work because you are putting your foot down. Children are often resentful of the process or angry that you just trumped them. The order of response would be to lead with the choice.
First: "Do you want the red or the blue sweatshirt?"
And then, if necessary, follow that up with a logical consequence.
Second: "If don't get dressed now, we will lose our time for the playground."
This puts the happy option first and follows up with the less agreeable way if happiness fails. The other order - consequence first followed by choice - is usually less effective. Children will be less willing to choose if you were just firm with them. An example would look like: "If you do not get dressed right now, we'll lose our time for the playground. Now which do you want the red or the blue sweatshirt?" You already put your foot down, so it is far less attractive to take you up on a choice. Choices should come first because they are flexible and open. Consequences are closed; there is a built-in outcome.
There are a few exceptions to the "choices first" guideline. Aggressive behaviors tend to go straight to consequences. Hitting, kicking, biting and screaming in someone's face are behaviors that do not have choices available; they just don't. In those cases, I tend to think consequences first after attending to and offering empathy to the "victim."
Around six years old, children tend to push for more control over their schedule and routines. It can be helpful if parents offer choices such as "Would you like to read books or color now?" or "Let's invite a playdate. Would you like to call Lindsey or Emily to play?" Around the eight years old, children may push for more physical independence. Choices such as, "Would you all like to sit with us or a few aisles away?" can be helpful. In the pre-teen years, children tend to need more privacy. Parents can offer choices such as, "Would you all like some time alone in your room or in the basement?" If children feel thwarted in their push for independence, they may become evasive in their efforts. If you feel struggles happening over these pushes for new independence, it is most helpful to examine the amount of control you are exerting over your children.
Children benefit from practice at making decisions. Kohn states that children "learn to make good decisions by making decisions." Ideally, you are offering these choices throughout the day, not just in discipline. Asking questions like "Would you like peanut butter or ham and cheese?" or "Do you want to play blocks or balls?" provides children with safe opportunities to practice making choices. These opportunities are out of the moment of discipline. There is less hanging in the balance. The better children get at weighing the options and making decisions when the decisions are not weighted with importance, the better they'll handle choices within discipline. When my children came to me at seven years old and ask, "What should I do about this?" I wanted to be able to give it back to them by asking, "What do you think you should do?" To gain experience problem-solving -to come up with and weigh options - children need practice.
It is fine to reiterate choices. If this strategy still doesn't work, you can choose for them, but you have to let them know that is coming. You could say, "This is taking a long time. You can choose or I will choose for you." Most kids will choose immediately because they don't want to lose that power. This shift should not sound like "Okay. This is taking too long; I choose the blue." If you swoop in and take their power without warning, you will surely be met by upset or tantrums.
Choices are flexible and work because they share power with the child. They also teach decision-making and often result in a more peaceful exchange than consequences.
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BLAST SUBMISSIONS
STM Blast items
must be submitted to [email protected] by noon on Monday
in order to be included in that week's edition.
All submissions must be in print-ready form.
Items received after this deadline will be held until the following issue.
Thank you for your cooperation.
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Upcoming Events
Thursday March 29
NO SCHOOL
EASTER BREAK BEGINS
Monday, April 9
Classes Resume
Monday, April 9
Parent Portal Closes
3pm
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