Do You Beat Yourself up over Your Mistakes?

The Unity Community

A Weekly Letter About...

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and Valuable, to You!

October 23, 2019 - Issue 19-43

Good Afternoon Contact First Name ,

Eric Lofholm talks about catching yourself doing the right thing.

Eric's 15-minute motivational call happens every day at 7:45 AM (Pacific time). I've been a regular listener (sometimes on a recording) for the past few months. It's him in person 90+% of the time; very rarely he has a guest speaker.

His topic is usually mind-set. Sometimes he discusses prospecting, selling, or whatever else he deems valuable.

The live call is by phone (701-801-1211, ID # 635 208 387). He posts the recordings, along with a bonus video link, each day here. Listening takes only a few minutes and the effect is transforming. He's rigorous about ending the call in 15 minutes or less.

The message is always very upbeat. You'll leave each call energized to take on the world.

The link I've provided is to one of last week's calls where he advises: Celebrate your successes. A recurring theme of his is, be nice to yourself. When you don't measure up to your ideal, forgive yourself. Disappointed? Put that behind you and move on forward, vowing to do stay the course. "Beating yourself up" when you're disappointed in your performance is deadly. It can't improve performance. Celebrating your wins, on the other hand, is great for inspiring more wins.

In a closely related article, Dr. Benjamin Hardy addresses the concept of focusing on the "gain". Most people focus on the "gap".

The gain is the progress you've made since:

This morning

Last week

Last month

An hour ago

Whatever time you choose to look back to.

The gap is what you don't have, but want to attain in the future. It's related to goal-setting, but has a negative sense.

The gain measures what you have now or who you are now against what you had or who you were some time in the past. It's among the best things to include in your journal to get your day started off on the right foot.

The gap measures what you don't have or are not, against some ideal. Goals, viewed positively, are good in their place. Journaling is about reviewing the recent past. Hardy's website has many tips on journaling and other techniques to improve your performance.

To be transparent, I must admit that this is my fourth (+/-) attempt to take up journaling. Long time readers may remember my mention of this. With Hardy's guidance, I've established a routine that I believe I'll continue to find valuable.

Gains and goals (not gaps) are both valuable. They should be viewed at different times in your daily routine.

Naturally, both Lofholm and Hardy offer paid coaching programs. All the resources I've linked to here are at no cost. In my view their value is immense. I hope you find them so, as well.

John Stevens

Note: Archived issues of The Unity Community are available here.

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About John

Throughout a career spanning over 45 years my management style has been one of building teams to bring several competent people together to focus on a common objective. I noted early in my career that, in most organizations, there is an enormous amount of time, energy, and effort wasted by people working at cross purposes.

As I transition to life in the Argentine outback, my focus shifts from coaching to helping other business coaches and advisers get their message out to their prospective clients. With my first-hand knowledge of the benefits of effective business coaching, I am uniquely qualified to help business advisers of all stripes convey their message.