In playing team sports, we learn a lot of life lessons and one of the biggest is composure. It is finding the balance of playing with emotion while controlling that emotion in every situation. It's knowing how to handle failure, adversity, and challenges within success. When a team's back is against the wall, what gets them through? Composure. This is an element of sports that needs to be reflected upon on all fronts associated with a team including coaches, parents, and players.

The difference in composure is how one handles the small situations that eventually wins the big game. It's the difference between slapping a stick on the ice when missing a shot verses immediately back checking to stop a rush. Composure is staying mentally connected to the game and your team and not losing that focus for even a moment especially when things don't go your way. It's easy to get frustrated, to be mad, argue a call with a ref, but that's not composure. It has to be taught, modeled, learned, and practiced, just like any skill. It's not easy, but it's necessary in order to be successful in anything you do. There is much we can collectively and individually do to build this character of composure:

1.      As a coach, always stay in control and never let your emotions get the best of you.  Genuine emotion is needed and you can even wear it on your sleeve, but it is always important to display ultimate control. Don't yell at a player; don't yell at a ref; be composed in the hardest of times and your players will do the same. The moment you use your cool, then you are giving permission to your players to do the same.

2.      As a parent, don't try to control any element of the sport that is out of your control. Many times we see parents coaching from the stands or yelling at the refs and other fans. Obviously these are all examples of extremely poor behavior.  Coaching from the stands undermines the coach's instruction and team focus.  Further, in the car on the way home from a game, if you even casually say the refs were bad, or they missed a call, or the other team played unfair, you are undermining composure. All those things don't even matter and are out of everyone's control, and by even mentioning them, you are giving permission to your skater to point the finger and pass the blame. Don't get caught trying to lift up your kid by passing blame or speaking poorly of others.  Composure is about accepting responsibility for everything; the good, the bad, and even the ugly. These are the elements we want our children to learn from life. Focus on what matters and what you have control over (their attitude, their effort), and not on what is out of your control.  Stay positive and support your child and the team!

3.      As a player, there are only two things you have complete control of at all time that no one else can even touch; your attitude and effort. Composure is being able to stay positive and work hard in the face of adversity and welcoming even the hardest of challenges. It's about finding hope in the presence of repeated failure. These are the traits you will learn while competing in sports.  You will find success when you begin accepting responsibility of all you can and cannot control, when you realize that adversity is simply a speed bump and challenges, even the hard ones, are welcomed with open arm.   Within this, you will find composure and then really starts to get fun! You will excel in ways you hadn't thought of!

At the end of the day, people will always remember how you handled a situation, not if you won or lost. Always be a positive beacon for those around you and conduct yourself with poise. These are the things that build perseverance, confidence, and strength. This is composure.