The Role of Routines in Your Divorce

Atlanta D ivorce Law Group

Happily Ever After Divorce Newsletter

September 2018

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Greetings!

A Dysfunctional Kind of Comfort:

The Role of Routines in Your Divorce

Why do humans crave routine? Why do days feel more comfortable and more productive when the same series of habits are repeated? In a world where spontaneity is celebrated and creativity is rewarded, I’ve always found it ironic that the human race (myself included) spends so much of the day trying to replicate the previous one to provide structure, reduce stress, and curb decision-making. Think about it. We wake up at the same time every morning to the same alarm sounds, we commute to and from work on the same busy streets, and we relax on the same sofa watching sitcoms televised on the same night every week. But when it comes to navigating the aftermath of a divorce, it is the shift in these day-to-day routines that seems to wreak the most havoc on people’s psyches. When our attorneys ask their clients to describe the most difficult aspects of divorce, they explain that the pain never stems from some monumental change that occurs overnight; it stems from a series of minute adjustments that slowly strip them of their confidence, independence, and motivation to face life on their own.

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Co-Parenting This School Year:

What Do the Kids Want?

Labor Day signals the end of summer, meaning that school has either already started or the first day back is nearly here. To some families, getting back into the school routine can provide comfort and stability. For families going through a divorce, even attempting to create a routine can be frustrating or even impossible. Many divorced couples get so caught up in navigating their own emotional minefields that they underestimate the effect their separation is having on other important members of the family — their kids. The amount of data from psychologists, therapists, and even lawyers on children of divorce is overwhelming. Yet, it all feels so geared toward the parents. When it comes to returning to school after a family divorce, what do the kids want?

During a study conducted by the BBC, researchers gave cameras to 21 children of divorce and asked them to record their feelings regarding their parents’ separation. One of the children, Rufus, explained that at times, “It’s like [I am] a toy for them to play with that they have to share.” To prevent your child from feeling like Rufus, my team here at Atlanta Divorce Law Firm recommends that you and your co-parent focus on planning, coordination, and communication this upcoming school year. We understand that when it comes to supporting your kids during their extracurricular activities this fall, the idea of seeing and interacting with your ex-spouse might be the last thing you want to do, but for the sake of the kids’ well-being, we suggest that you try to set aside any lingering frustrations from the marriage in order to create a co-parenting relationship that makes your children feel supported and welcome.

That being said, if you have found that your co-parent hasn’t acted in accordance with the arranged custody agreement, or they won’t communicate or effectively co-parent with you, please feel free to contact our office. Our attorneys understand the significance of these custody arrangements and can help create a plan that will consider the best interests of both the children and parents. Call today at 678-798-8093 to learn more.

To All the Hardworking Women:

Happy National Business Women’s Day!

September 22 marks the founding date of the American Business Women’s Association, the mission of which is to bring together businesswomen of diverse occupations and provide opportunities for them to help themselves and others grow, personally and professionally. It commemorates the important legacy and contributions of the 68 million working American women. Here at Atlanta Divorce Law Group, this particular holiday means a lot to us. You might initially think that we would celebrate it solely because we have an all-female legal team filled with industrious and driven professional women. While this is true, you might be surprised to know that this grouping occurred completely by accident. In fact, my team and I like to joke that when it comes to hiring a male attorney to join us, we just haven’t met Mr. Right quite yet.

The real reason that National Business Women’s Day matters to us is that it allows us time to celebrate the professional women who somehow manage to handle the pressure of standing out in the workplace, supporting their spouses and children, or working to make their communities better places. Some women are so phenomenal that they can take on all of these roles at once!

All the women working to perfect this emotionally chaotic balancing act deserve recognition, but we specifically want to recognize our clients who are going through or have already undergone the stress that accompanies being both a mother and a professional in the workforce. Additionally, I want to give a huge shout-out to the women on my team who work to accomplish these feats every day. One example is Ashley Pepitone, one of our associate attorneys, who superbly manages to provide legal support, maintain client relationships, and prepare reports for our firm while still being present in her husband’s and her two daughters’ lives and never missing a ballet recital. Our managing attorney, Jeanette Soltys, balances being an unwavering courtroom litigator and a wonderful mother to her adopted son and stepchildren all at once! To Ashley and Jeanette, and to all the other conscientious and persevering women out there, thank you for all the hard work you have done and will continue to do.