Dealing with Caregiving Fears

October is the month when children and adults alike celebrate Halloween. Even though this holiday is popular among school children and their friends, the month is associated with frightening stories and over-the-top scare tactics. But we don't need to celebrate Halloween to know that everyday life can offer its variety of frightful things! If you are a family caregiver, then you are likely familiar with the fact that caregiving can often be a scary role to take on. This month, we want to encourage you to face your fears honestly, and be open with yourself and others about the things that challenge you most. This is not to diminish the difficult emotions, the legitimate concerns and worries, or any other fearful experiences you have had as a family caregiver. These experiences are all valid and your reactions to these situations are warranted. Nor is this is a catch-all guide on how to triumph over fears, although this would be a good direction in which to move.

What we mean is that feelings of fears need to be acknowledged, understood, expressed, communicated; and, even when we might not have the courage to keep on going, we keep at it.

Below are some tips for healthy ways to deal with fears, concerns, anxieties, and other challenges that might come at you this month. 

Seek counseling: It is impossible to have all of the answers. We will hit brick walls, stumble over obstacles, and reach our limits. Counselors are people who are not necessarily there to provide answers but to help you become better at managing what is troubling you personally. They can be objective third-parties with which you can go over and think through difficult situations. Seeing a certified counselor or therapist is a healthy and wise thing to do.

Ask for help: When we are scared, it is perfectly normal to ask for help. It is no use to be isolated and alone, especially when you feel vulnerable and afraid. Friends, family, and professional support systems are there to be a helping hand.

Do not hide: Fear needs to be handled directly. It can be through communicating your fears with your partner, family members, or a certified therapist. Or it can mean looking at a scary situation directly, mustering up courage, and tackling it head on. Regardless of what path you choose, fears should not push you in a corner and keep you down. Being vulnerable, acknowledging that you are afraid, and communicating your feelings with someone are steps in the right direction.

Do not let fear overcome you. Instead, be brave and be vulnerable. Talk with people who will listen, seek advice and take it, and do not isolate yourself. The famous science fiction author, Frank Herbert, once wrote: "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer." This means that fear has the tendency to stop us in our tracks, paralyzing us and rendering us helpless. But acknowledging fear as a normal reaction to a situation and addressing it honestly is one way to overcome it.