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Divorce Matters: A Proven Approach to Family Law
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Hope House
Good works. Supporting non-profit organizations is one way that the employees of Divorce Matters fulfill their wish to do good for the community. At the beginning of 2017 our employees nominated their favorite charities and 12 were selected. In the month of January Divorce Matters will donate to Hope House of Colorado. Hope House of Colorado is committed to transforming the lives of teen mothers around the world.
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Enjoy Your Valentine's Day
V
alentine's Day is fast approaching and for those who are recently divorced this can be an unwelcome holiday that feels like it only serves as a reminder of your divorce. Divorce is already hard enough as it is without a holiday that seems to rub salt on the wound. It would be easy enough to decide you just want a night in with you, Ben & Jerry's but before you shut yourself in and completely fall down the rabbit hole, try these few suggestions to save the holiday for yourself.
One way to overcome sadness and stress is to exercise. Why not actually start that workout regimen you promised yourself you would begin on January 1st? Exercise is scientifically proven to reduce stress and help with depression. It is also a good way to take care of yourself. So instead of curling up on the couch in defeat, get out there and go for a run.
Another great way to spend the evening is to invite some of your closest friends out for a friends' dinner. Choose a restaurant that takes reservations and make sure to reserve a table large enough for your group. Don't get caught up trying to book a table at the "trendiest" spot downtown. Instead, opt for a favorite where you know it will be good and enjoy the company of your close friends.
Finally, if you really want to go it alone and spend the night in, treat yourself! Ahead of the evening, go and buy the ingredients for your favorite recipe. Spend the time cooking a delicious meal for yourself and watching a favorite movie or settling in with a book you've been meaning to read.
The most important thing to remember about Valentine's Day is that it is meant to be a holiday to spend with loved ones. This doesn't mean it has to be a significant other, that love can extend to your friends and family as well.
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Separating Your Finances
 Separating finances during a divorce may seem like a headache but it is incredibly important that you do not neglect taking care of these details. Whether your divorce is amenable or contentious, if you don't properly extricate your finances from your ex's you might find yourself in financial trouble down the road. If you're not sure where to start, here are a few of the most common items:
* If you and your spouse own your home together and you've decided you want to sell your half, be sure that you remove your name from the deed and the mortgage. Failure to do so could end in headaches down the line if you're still legally attached to the home. This should also be done for any cars that are in both of your names.
* You will also want to separate all financial accounts that are shared. This should include your checking accounts, savings accounts, credit card accounts, and investments. You will also want to make sure that your various insurance accounts are moved into your individual name so that you are not paying for insurance covering your ex spouse. Don't forget to change your beneficiary information on all of your accounts.
* Finally, get all of your legal documents in order. If you have a will and/or trust have the information updated so your ex spouse is no longer named in the documents. You should also review your powers of attorney to make sure the correct person is named.
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This Valentine's Day, Let Love Stand a Chance
 While Valentine's Day might be a kitschy, Hallmark holiday besieged by expectations of flowers, candy, and jewelry, it can also serve as a much-needed catalyst for reviving some of the magic in your marriage. We spoke with Family and Marriage Therapist Dawn Rike from
Springs of Joy, Inc., who offered these tips for catapulting the spirit of Valentine's Day into little gestures to make your union last a lifetime:
1. You're Dino-mite!
As your children address pun-ny valentines to their classmates, do the same for your spouse-either by leaving them a sweet Post-It note on the bathroom mirror or through an unexpected text message. "We get into patterns of focusing on all the negatives until we can see no positives," Rike said. "That hastens the disillusionment of relationships, so one simple thing is to invite couples to think of something positive about their partner to try and redirect that thought process-even if it's just admitting 'Well, he still brushes his teeth.' You have to start somewhere!"
2. Make 'Em Laugh.
Rike believes it takes six to seven years for couples to fully begin accepting one another's differences, so it's especially important to cultivate the marriage in those early years. In their younger days, Rike would playfully dump a mug of cold water on her husband while he was in the shower; it would startle him, but then they would laugh about it together for long afterwards. Another light-hearted effort we like is from a woman who put down a trail of Hershey Kisses around her home with a note at the end saying "Now that I've kissed the ground you walked on..." The general idea is not to make a big show out of Valentine's Day with a fancy dinner and an expensive gift, but to instead create meaningful memories that link together in an upward spiral of companionship.
3. A Minute for Eternity.
It can be pretty challenging finding the time for romance between children, work, and picking up the dry-cleaning, but Rike notes that even a second or two of truly connecting with your spouse on a level beyond mundane realities can completely change the dynamic. "Greet each other warmly," she said. "Meet them at the door for a full 10-second kiss." For Rike, the year she and her husband left their 8-year-old son in charge of his little sister while they snuck down to the basement for milkshakes and french fries was her most memorable Valentine's Day celebration. "It was just 25 minutes, but it was the thought that mattered," she said.
4. Give Thanks.
Rike has been wed for nearly 35 years, but she's experienced her fair share of frustrating, breaking-point moments in her own marriage as well. Her husband's inability to tuck in his kitchen chair after removing his shoes was, for example, a source of constant annoyance for her-until she met an elderly woman whose deceased husband used to do the same thing. "Now, I really miss that misplaced chair," the woman told Rike, who soon realized she needed to let go off the insignificant things and to focus on what really matters. "I still have him; he's still here," she mused. "Yes, the chair's out again, but it only takes me five seconds to put it back."
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It is Divorce Matters mission to be the premier divorce law firm in the Denver metro area by providing an exceptional client experience. Our team provides the strategic and focused leadership to navigate our clients through the legal process. We apply energetic and creative solutions to elevate the family law practice to achieve the best possible outcome for our clients.
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