Feedback Edition- Receiving and Utilizing

With the end of the year approaching, we prepare for reviews, feedback, and our goals for next year. The next few editions of Thrive will be focused on helping you through this natural cycle in the last couple months of the year. Usually the main conversation around feedback is how to GIVE it. This is undoubtedly important and will be a topic in a future issue, but in reality, how effective and helpful the feedback can be is largely dependent on how the receiver ACCEPTS the feedback . This edition focuses on recipient's role in the feedback relationship.

Receiving Feedback

It's safe to say that positive feedback is always welcome, but it is natural to feel hurt and get defensive when you hear "bad" feedback. It takes practice and skill to be able to receive negative feedback well. To do so, remember to receive feedback with grace and dignity  by following these tips from www.thebalance.com :   Control your defensiveness. Listen to understand. Suspend judgment. Summarize and reflect back. Ask clarifying questions. Ask for examples. Be approachable.   Remember, feedback can be just as intimidating for the giver as it is for the receiver!

Utilizing Feedback

Even feedback that is delivered well can be hard to utilize, let alone feedback that is not! So how are we supposed to make the best of it to learn and grow? Sheila Heen says it best in her Ted Talk titled "How to use others' feedback to learn and grow": "Feedback sits at the junction of two, core human needs. On the one hand, we do want to learn and grow ... The problem is we bump into the second thing, which is the need to be accepted and respected the way we are now... [We can learn] to understand and manage the pain [of feedback] to enrich our relationships and to get to the learning faster." Watch her whole talk:

Apply the FIVE!

Feedback is a difficult subject. While many people want to learn what they can do better, it is hard to accept feedback when it is not shone in a positive light. However, constructive feedback is often what sparks the most development, and it can be a powerful force if utilized correctly. Chances are you will be meeting with someone to discuss your yearly review. Take a moment before you enter the meeting to review how to receive feedback well . Remember, your manager or supervisor probably feels the same about the meeting as you do! Remember what Sheila Heen said: "If you get better at handling everyone's feedback for you, it doesn't just change you. It changes how other people see you and experience you!"

Learn How Evans Thrives!

What better way to motivate you to  thrive than to hear about REAL people making it happen? And what better way to learn about Evans Incorporated than to make those real people Evans employees? Meet Emad Elias!

Have you ever wondered how to receive feedback that you disagree with? Even more of a challenge is disagreeing with someone you perceive to be more powerful than you. It's natural to want to avoid disagreeing with a superior, so let me share some ways I deal with this as I listen to feedback: I ask myself, “What are the risks of not speaking up?” Think about how not speaking up could affect your team or the overall goal. Hint: Ask if you can share thoughts about why you disagree on something they’ve said. This will give them safety and control. Don’t forget to pay attention to your body language, and stay calm. I decide whether to speak up now or get more input. If this is feedback you’re hearing for the first time, consider whether this is a pattern. If it’s feedback you’re aware of, but disagree with, then speak up right then, not later.

I try to identify a shared goal that has mutual benefits. Consider a shared goal with this powerful leader. State it overtly, contextualizing your statements so that you’re seen as a colleague who’s trying to advance a shared goal. The discussion can then become more of a strategy discussion, in addition to a feedback session.

Until Next Time...

The Evans Thrive Team (Nicole, Laura, Bob, Sean and Kaitlin)

(This image was adapted from a commonly shared internet image.)

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