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Marriage Correction

 August, 2014

Quote of the month

 

"Soul-mates 

are people 

who bring out the best 

in you. 

They are not perfect 

but are always perfect 

for you." 

 

by Author Unknown.

 

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Qualifications

Masters Degree - Applied Psychology from Seton Hall University

 

Post-Masters Degree-Marriage and Family Therapy from Seton Hall University

 

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

 

Private Practice 

since 2008

 

Married 25 years

 

Mother of 2 young adult daughters 

 

Passionate about 

what I do

 

 

 

When the stock market goes down by 10% or less in a relatively short period of time, it is called a "correction".  History tells us that corrections are normal and will lead to eventual improvement in the market if investors pay attention and make the right moves.  By doing this, you help to avoid a stock market "crash", which is when the stock market goes down by more than 10%, usually in one or two days. 

 

Long term relationships and marriages can go through corrections as well.  What should we do about them when we feel them happening?  Read below for some information that may help you to avoid the "crash" of your relationship.

 

As always, please pass along this information to anyone you feel may benefit from its content. 

 

Sincerely,     

Maryellen Dabal, MA, LMFT

Southlake Counseling & Neurofeedback Center

420 North Carroll Ave Suite 140

Southlake, TX 76092

817-876-9958  

maryellen@dabalmft.com

 

Missed previous newsletters??

Go to www.dabalmft.com.  Click on the newsletters link at the bottom of the home page. Enjoy.....

  

From The Positive Perspective.......

 

A correction in a marriage might be something similar to feeling that things are different between you and your significant other and not quite sure why.  It could be that you are reaching a milestone in your life and are thinking about some changes you want to make but are unsure how to approach your mate.  It could be that all of a sudden your spouse is spending too much time out of the home or inside the home due to a new job and it bothers you, but you have said nothing.  It could be that you are feeling neglected due to a new child in the family and you need more affection or attention from your mate. 

 

All of these feelings are normal and will most likely occur in any long term relationship in some form.  Just like with the stock market correction, over the long haul, this is normal.  Several of these incidences will occur over a period of time if you are together long enough.  If you have the skills to address these issues openly and honestly with your mate, you can avoid the "crash", which could mean growing even further apart, or an affair, or tolerance rather than love for each other.

 

To avoid the "crash", set time aside on a regular basis with your mate, even when things are good; especially when things are good, to discuss what is going well and what needs attention.  Be sure no one is tired, hungry or angry when you have these discussions.  Be proactive in the details so you set your conversation up for success.  Speak to each other using the "I" perspective, which means talking to your mate about how you feel, not what he/she has done wrong.  Come up with some solutions by brainstorming together.  No idea is too ridiculous.  Pick a solution to try and then set up a time to evaluate that solution.  If that idea didn't work, try another brainstormed idea.  Don't give up until the problem is solved.

 

A great resource book called, Love and Logic Magic for Lasting Relationships, by Fay and Hawkins, is a guide that teaches the Love and Logic approach which was originally designed for use with children.  One of the authors from the original series has now adapted the techniques to adult relationships with the help of a seasoned marriage counselor.  I use techniques from this book all the time in my practice.  I suggest you check it out no matter what stage of life you are in and no matter what your marital status.  It, too, can help you to avoid a possible "crash". 

 

If you would like more information on this topic or need help implementing these ideas into your long term relationship, give me a call.  As always, thank you for looking at this topic, marriage corrections.....

From The Positive Perspective.

 

Stay well.

    

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Feedback
I welcome feedback regarding the newsletter or questions about my practice.  I can be reached at maryellen@dabalmft.com.  I cannot, however, give advice through email. For more information on my practice please visit my website: www.dabalmft.com

I wish you well...