Do you have questions about your child’s fear, anxiety or worry?
Find What’s Wrong
Unfortunately, kids don’t always tell us what’s bothering them. Their behavior or body language might give us clues—like fighting, fleeing or freezing up. But it’s often up to parents to figure out how to help kids share and overcome their fears.
Ask Non-Threatening Questions
Forcing kids to talk when they aren’t in the right frame of mind rarely gets the right results. But when we ask simple, nonthreatening questions, we can invite them to share. Instead ask questions that are
- Open- ended- not yes/no questions
- Ask specific questions about one thing at a time.
Create Unhurried Connection
As kids—especially older kids—wait to fall asleep, their brains keep going. Fears and negative thoughts about themselves, their world and their future can easily surface. So bedtime traditions can be reassuring. Here’s a simple bedtime tradition I practice with my kids.
What’s something great about God?
Name something you can tell God you’re sorry for that you did wrong today?
Is there something you can thank Him for that He did for you today?
What is something you can ask Him for?
Bedtime isn’t the only time to connect with our kids.
School Anxieties
Here are some conversation starters you can use to help your child open up about school-related fears:
- Is there anything about school you wish was different?
- How are you feeling about school this year? What are you excited about? What are you nervous about?
- Is there someone new in your class that we could invite over this week?
- If you have a problem at school, what could you do? Who could you tell?
- Do you ever think how God is with you, even while you’re at school? How might you act differently at school if you truly believed this?
- What’s a Scripture you could remember to help you feel less nervous about school?
- How can I pray for you while you’re at school?
Changing the Focus
Whether my child’s anxiety stems from school or something else—culture, news, failure, friends—what they feel is real to them. If I sense that one of my children is really worried, we worship God through music. Worshiping God changes our focus from us to Him.
Sometimes we do a simple exercise where we inhale deeply—and imagine we’re “breathing in” the love of God. Then we exhale—and imagine we’re “breathing out” the worries of the world. When my kids were younger, after having them do this with me, I would ask, “Did that feel good?” Once they answered, I’d ask them to do the same exercise five more times on their own. I’d add, “Maybe go outside. Close your eyes. Feel the wind and sun that God has created.”
Blessings on your week and worship.
Michelle Gerlach, Family Life
