Enjoy videos from teachers throughout our school district as they share their Encouraging Words for students and families!

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#webelieveinU
Recently, I’ve been giving myself permission to “drop it.” I will drop what I’m doing whenever my 13-yr old son starts talking with me about any given topic in order to listen to him with my full attention. But “dropping it” has not always been the norm. Over the past few months, I reflected on just how often I had previously done the opposite… how I would ‘half-listen’ while continuing to try to make headway on work, a research paper, house chores, or a myriad of other tasks on my to do list. Somehow, the constant juggle was the norm given the nonstop pace of our lives.

Until our norm changed. And we were together 24/7. And half-listening while juggling four other tasks became... exhausting. I couldn’t continue to give a portion of myself to every area of my life simultaneously. I was spread too thin and the juggle wasn’t strengthening my relationship with my son. I knew something had to change.

So one evening at bedtime, my son started talking with me about a game he had been playing on Xbox. He began to tell me about every nuance and strategy of the game. After ten minutes, with the clock approaching 10:30pm and tomorrow’s ‘to do’ list already starting to race through my mind, I did something different. Instead of asking him to tell me about it tomorrow because it’s getting late, I sat down on the side of his bed, shifted my focus to him, and listened. I listened about a new release in the game, the differences between past releases, how he made one move over another, how he and his friend defeated a level, and on and on and on. I listened to his entire recap and never once suggested we wrap up because of the time. Instead, I gave him the time and space to share everything on his mind about this game. Which was a solid 30 minutes of game talk and when he was done sharing he said, ‘thanks for listening, Mom’ and I said, ‘anytime.’ And I meant it.

The next day at lunch, he began talking about one of his favorite topics... cars. It is a topic he has talked about since he was four. I have learned more about Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Bugattis, and Porsches, then I ever knew possible. ;-) So as he started talking, I saved my work, closed my laptop, shifted my focus to him, and listened. Tesla was doing something with a car that fascinated him. We talked about it for 15 minutes, he shared everything he wanted to while I listened and asked questions, and then we each moved on to the next thing we were doing that day. I learned more about Tesla... ;-) and he felt heard about a topic that mattered to him.

A few days later, my son shared about how he’d been feeling down because he had been missing his friends, his teachers, and going to his karate classes. As soon as he started talking, I saved my work, closed my laptop, shifted my focus to him, and listened. The topic had changed, but my response was the same. By continuing to drop what I was doing, I was given the gift of hearing my 13-yr old share what was in his heart for which I felt grateful to receive.

By no means is this a perfect system as I still have moments where I’m doing the old familiar juggle and spread a bit too thin. Perhaps we all are right now. But by giving myself permission to ‘drop it’ and be fully present in a moment of my son’s choosing—no matter if the topic is Xbox, cars, or the bigger stuff like emotional well-being—it has truly created one of the most meaningful ‘new norms’ and has brought a greater sense of calm to our home.

Take good care,

Dena Quist
Communications Manager



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It is the policy of the Urbandale Community School District not to discriminate on the basis of race, creed, color, sex, religion, marital status (for program), ethnic background, national origin, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity, age (for employment), or socio-economic background (for program) in its educational programs and its employment practices. There is a grievance procedure for processing complaints of discrimination. If you have questions or a grievance related to this policy, please contact the District office at 11152 Aurora Avenue, Urbandale, IA or call 515-457-5000. The District’s Equity Coordinators are Dr. Keri Schlueter, Coordinator of Student Services (schlueterk@urbandaleschools.com), Loren DeKruyf, Director of Human Resources and Operations (dekruyfl@urbandaleschools.com), and Dr. Crista Carlile, Director of Teaching and Learning (carlilec@urbandaleschools.com).
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