Friend or Spouse?
As your Vestry liaison to the Stewardship Committee, I ask you a question: “Is your relationship with God like a friendship, or is it more like a marriage?” I do not ask this rhetorically or judgmentally, it is a serious question. Both friendship and marriage can be wonderful, supportive, and full of love, affection, and companionship for the good and bad times of life. Neither is intrinsically inferior to the other. Neither type of relationship is guaranteed to be healthy forever. But they are different, and the attitudes we bring to the relationship will be different. People can form friendships casually, and can drop friends casually too if things go sour. The Rite of Marriage, on the other hand, involves an element of making a public commitment to each other.
I think of this distinction now because our younger son, Grayson, was just confirmed last week. Our Bishop, Robert Wright, asked Grayson this question: “Do you renew your commitment to Jesus Christ?” Then he asked us, the congregation: “Will you who witness these vows do all in your power to support these persons in their life in Christ?” They struck me for the first time as being reminiscent of wedding vows.
I remember back to my childhood church, which was quite formal and a bit old fashioned. We only had Communion once per month, and it seemed like we sang the same hymns over and over. One we sang nearly every month was “Soul Adorn Thyself with Gladness”, and one verse always puzzled me:
v. 2- Hasten as a bride to meet Him and with loving reverence greet Him
For with words of life immortal now He knocketh at thy portal.
Haste to ope the gates before Him, saying while thou dost adore Him
“Suffer Lord that I receive Thee, and I nevermore with leave Thee.”
And as I sang this hymn, precisely every first Sunday in the month (since then they scandalously changed this policy to twice a month!), I wondered what the heck this meant, and if it had anything to do with the parable of the wise virgins and the foolish virgins. *Spoiler alert, it did.
Fast forward *ahem* a few years to 2018 and that year’s Stewardship drive at St Gregory the Great. There was a big emphasis on pledging, and I was a bit unsettled by this. Mind you, not the kind of unsettled that involves calling up every Vestry member and loudly complaining. But more like the kind of unsettled that caused me to contact one member and ask “what gives?” Are we in trouble financially? We seem to have a more or less balanced budget, so what’s this all about?
The practical fact of the matter is, that the Vestry needs to make a budget for keeping the buildings open, the staff paid, and the committees humming long. And yes, we do usually find the funds to keep things going. There is no doubt that when there is a special need, the congregation of St. Gregory steps up, and how! There’s nobody like Gregorians to close ranks and pitch in when something has to get done. But it’s just more efficient and sustainable if we can pledge and keep it. It’s easier for church leadership to plan, easier to execute action steps, and easier to make decisions, if we know what will be given and when. It’s also more in keeping with the idea of our relationship to Christ as being like a marriage.
Do be aware, however, that our leadership is sensitive to personal hardship. Things happen. And if they do, just reach out to Mother Nikki or our Senior Warden (currently Jane Hudson) and inform them that you cannot keep your pledge. No worries. But this Stewardship season, please do prayerfully consider your pledge. Pledge the amount that you believe you can keep. And if you regularly give extra when extra needs present themselves, consider factoring that into your pledge and increasing your monthly giving accordingly so that it makes the cash flow more stable for both you AND the congregation.
If there is anything that I, or our Stewardship Committee Chair Peter Rice, can do for you, or answer any questions you may have, please reach out. Or better yet, just reach out and say hi!
With love,
LeeAnne Krause
