News From the Presbytery of Transylvania
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Church Bullies. They Are the Worst
by Jan Edmiston
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*editor's note- there are a couple of links embedded within the article that are worthy of reading...
There have always been church bullies. I don’t know whether some people are simply inclined to act out in despotic ways (e.g. the bossy personality gone awry) or if circumstances (our church is falling apart!) move ordinarily collaborative humans to act out.
But Bullying Pastors and Bullying Parishioners are real. (I won’t get into Bullying Mid-Council Leaders here but maybe you’ve met them too.)
This article
by David Brubaker spells out the four participants necessary for bullies to thrive:
- There is The Bully who humiliates and gaslights. Like Brubaker, I appreciate this 2015 article about the characteristics of bullies by Thom Rainer. The Rainer article would be a good discussion piece for church elders to consider asking leaders, “Do we have a bully problem in this congregation?” This would be a brave conversation important to establishing norms and transparency.
- There is The Victim whom The Bully targets. The Victim could be a vulnerable person or someone who questions The Bully.
- There is The Enabler who sides with The Bully. Brubaker says that enablers are either “true believers” who follow the bully’s lead or “craven opportunists” who believe that backing up the bully with help them gain their own power. Good points. But I have found that enablers simply believe life will be easier if they stand with the most powerful person in the room – even if that person is a bully.
- There is The Bystander who’s afraid to step in and speak up. Sometimes bystanders are simply conflict-averse. And sometimes they are terrified that the bully’s wrath will be turned on them next. Bystander Training is a good idea for church councils because according to this 2018 article in the HBR, trained bystanders help in “leveraging the people in the environment to set the tone for what’s acceptable and what’s not acceptable behavior.”
Read the Full Article
HERE
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MESSAGE FROM THE COMMISSION ON REPRESENTATION
It’s that time of year when Commission on Representation seeks names for nomination to the various presbytery commissions and ministries. Good news: many folks have already agreed to serve and the nominations are coming along nicely. COR has identified two teaching elder slots on Administration Commission, preferably female teaching elders (for parity). If you would be willing to serve in this way, please contact COR chair, Janet Prewitt, at
janet.prewitt@icloud.com
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AN EVENING WITH REV. DORI HJALMARSON
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 15
Rev. Dori Hjalmarson, is a former resident of Lexington, a former Herald-Leader reporter and member of FPC, Lexington. After leaving KY, Dori attended seminary, became ordained and is currently serving as a PCUSA mission co-worker in Honduras. (For some years the denomination has used the term mission co-worker rather than the more traditional word – missionary – in order to emphasize the cooperative nature of our work.) Dori will be visiting in the US during September and will be in Lexington on Sunday, September 15. She has received support from 2
nd
Presbyterian Church and will be with them for worship on the morning of the 15
th
. FPC, Lexington will host an evening with Dori in the church fellowship hall from 5:00 pm to 7:00 pm on the 15
th
. We will have a nice meal with salad, entrée and dessert catered by our friends at Greenhouse 17. The modest cost of the meal will be underwritten by a couple of FPC members. Dori will share with us her experiences and there will be time for fellowship.
Anyone who listens to the news, hears about the conditions in the so-called Northern Triangle of Central America: Honduras, El Salvador and Guatemala. There can be little doubt about the importance of Dori’s work. We hope you can join us for this evening of information and fellowship.
Everyone is invited to this event. The church address is 171 Market Street, Lexington, although it is probably best to enter from the Mill Street side where there is abundant parking.
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TRI-PRESBYTERY YOUTH RETREAT
REGISTER NOW!
November 8 - 10 2019, @ Cedar Ridge Camp, Louisville, KY
Psalm 121 - "See And Be Seen"
How do others see you? How do we see ourselves? How does God see you?
Featuring Co-Moderator of the PC(USA) Vilarie Cintron-Olivieri, Keynote
All youth 6th - 12th Grade from across Kentucky
Fellowship and Fun with our Presbyterian friends in Kentucky!
CONTACTS: Hannah McIntyre, Danville (hannah@presbydan.org)
COSTS (includes listed meals, all activities, tee shirt):
Full weekend (two nights, Breakfast, lunch, dinner Saturday; breakfast, lunch Sunday) $70
One night: lunch, dinner Saturday, breakfast, lunch Sunday: $50
Daytime only: Lunch, dinner Saturday, lunch Sunday: $30
ACTIVITIES are first come/first served, however all must be involved/present in activities during those times (there is no ‘free time’ option other than after 3pm Saturday). Chaperones may participate in activities as space available, but must be in attendance with their group. Assignments/adjustments will be made as necessary.
WHAT TO BRING: Casual Clothing for a weekend spent mostly outdoors. Warm clothing. Clothes that can get dirty. Linens, or sleeping bag, pillow, towel, toiletries/personal hygiene items. Bible, Water bottle, flashlight, outdoor play equipment (frisbee, balls etc). Signed Camp Release Form. Any medications you take (and separate instructions for leaders).
GROUP LEADERS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR BRINGING MEDICAL FORMS FOR EACH YOUTH AND TRACKING MEDICINES.
WHAT NOT TO BRING: Electronic equipment/games. Phone service is virtually non-existent and phones will not be allowed during our group sessions. Anything illegal.
The registration deadline is October 20. All youth currently in 6th-12th grade are eligible to attend. A ratio of 1 adult to 7 youth is required, with both genders represented. Churches must certify adult chaperone child protection status (proof of background check).
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Presbyterian Women Fall Gathering Saturday, October 5th
Camp Burnamwood
Theme: Shining a Light on the Opioid Crisis
Guest Speaker: Jennifer Webb, Paralegal Specialist for the U.S. Attorney’s Office
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Kentucky Council of Churches Annual Assembly Registration is now Open!
October 24-25
First Baptist Church, Morehead, KY
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RECLAIMING JESUS!
We are living through perilous and polarizing times as a nation, with a dangerous crisis of moral and political leadership at the highest levels of our government and in our churches.
It is time to be followers of Jesus before anything else—nationality, political party, race, ethnicity, gender, geography—our identity in Christ precedes every other identity. We pray that our nation will see Jesus’ words in us. “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).
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Church Openings and Other Jobs
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There are a number of Pastoral Opportunities available in the Presbytery. If you know of anyone who might be interested in one of the following positions, please share this information with them.
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First Presbyterian Church in Paris- Part-time stated Supply
First Presbyterian Church is located 18 miles from Lexington on the scenic Paris/Lexington Road, is looking for a part-time stated supply minister to lead worship and preach each Sunday, administer the Sacrament of the Lord’s Supper, moderate the session and congregational meetings, visit the sick and shut-in, and lead funeral services upon request.
We are a small church but have a strong music program and a full-time Music Director. We are active in the community with music and art after-school programs.
Please consider our congregation if you are looking for a part time position. Direct inquiries to Rogers Barde, Clerk of Session, 859-987-1225.
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White’s Memorial Presbyterian-Berea
Part-Time Stated Supply (20 hours/week)
White's Memorial has been in existence as a congregation for over 135 years. Beginning in another location known as Silver Creek, White's members and friends have a deep relationship with the land and community of Berea, Kentucky. We are looking for a part-time (20 hour) stated supply minister to provide pastoral care, lead Sunday worship, and guide mid-week services. Our church is only a few miles out of Berea toward Richmond. If you are considering a call, we’d ask you to prayerfully consider our congregation. Please direct inquiries to Mickie Hudson, Clerk of Session, at (859) 582-2576.
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September Upcoming Events
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SEPTEMBER
10- Woodford County Pastors Lunch, 11:30
10- CPM, First Winchester, 12:30 pm
10-Coordinating Commission, TBD, 5:00 pm
17- Eastern Church Co-Hort Meeting, 5pm, Whitesburg
19- Nicholasville Vision Team, 10am
19- Christian Formation, Georgetown, 10:00 am
24- Clergywomen's Lunch, Newk's- Richmond Rd., Lex, 12:00 pm
-Administration Commission, Second Lexington, 3:00 pm
25- Pastoral Transitions Commission, First Winchester, 10:00 am
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SEPTEMBER
8- Bryce McGowan- 51 years
11- Rachel Mathews - 1 year
13-Curtis Christian-32 years
14-Mark Davis-35 years
16-Beth Garrod-Logsdon-18 years
22-Lisa Eye-17 years
23-Lorilyn Howie-Kipphut-12 years
24-Janice Stamper-30 years
25-Betsy Steiner-31 years
28-Jay T. Silence-22 years
May God continue to bless your ministry!
If we have missed your ordination anniversary or have incorrect information, please email
rjustus@transypby.org
so we can update your information.
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