Dear TBZ community:
Last Shabbat morning, my older daughter and I woke up before the sun. We were planning an early hike up to what is called the “Overlook.” The hike is not more than a mile, but it is very steep. The reward is a beautiful view of the Berkshires just as the sun rises. I will be honest, I was afraid. There are bears in those mountains and we would be walking through the dark woods. But Alma really wanted to do it.
We strapped on our headlamps. We were advised to sing as we hiked to provide the bears fair warning of our approach. You don’t want to surprise a bear.
Over the forty minutes, as we hike upward, through the dark, and the imagined bears, toward the peak and sunrise, my emotions were transformed from fear to joy. In fact, this hike was one of the most joyous moments of my vacation. To be able to experience that joy, I had to overcome fear and hesitation.
This week, we read parshat Ekev, which continues the recount of the story of the Exodus and the journey through the desert by Moses.
Deuteronomy 8:7-9 reads:
וְזָכַרְתָּ֣ אֶת־כָּל־הַדֶּ֗רֶךְ אֲשֶׁ֨ר הֹלִֽיכֲךָ֜ יְהוָ֧ה אֱלֹהֶ֛יךָ זֶ֛ה אַרְבָּעִ֥ים שָׁנָ֖ה בַּמִּדְבָּ֑ר לְמַ֨עַן עַנֹּֽתְךָ֜ לְנַסֹּֽתְךָ֗ לָדַ֜עַת אֶת־אֲשֶׁ֧ר בִּֽלְבָבְךָ֛ הֲתִשְׁמֹ֥ר מצותו [מִצְוֺתָ֖יו] אִם־לֹֽא׃
Remember the long way that the Adonai your God has made you travel in the wilderness these past forty years, that God might test you by hardships to learn what was in your hearts: whether you would keep God’s commandments or not.
וַֽיְעַנְּךָ֮ וַיַּרְעִבֶךָ֒ וַיַּֽאֲכִֽלְךָ֤ אֶת הַמָּן֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר לֹא־יָדַ֔עְתָּ וְלֹ֥א יָדְע֖וּן אֲבֹתֶ֑יךָ לְמַ֣עַן הוֹדִֽעֲךָ֗ כִּ֠י לֹ֣א עַל־הַלֶּ֤חֶם לְבַדּוֹ֙ יִחְיֶ֣ה הָֽאָדָ֔ם כִּ֛י עַל־כָּל־מוֹצָ֥א פִֽי־יְהוָ֖ה יִחְיֶ֥ה הָאָדָֽם׃
God subjected you to the hardship of hunger and then gave you manna to eat, which neither you nor your ancestors had ever known, in order to teach you that a person does not live on bread alone, but that a person may live on anything that Adonai decrees.
These two verses have a challenging message. They seem to say that the hardships of a journey are given to us by God so that we can find our way onto God’s path. They seem to say that the hardships are here to test us, redeem us, and instill in us the recognition that we owe all that we are to God. Although, perhaps the hardships are there and will always be there, and when we walk with God we are able to find blessings in the hardships, and we can experience the rewards of overcoming our fears. Indeed the text follows up with a promise that God will take us to a good land, a land with streams and springs and fountains and fruits and blessing and we will be prosperous. The endpoint of the journey is joy.
Humanity is walking a scary and unknown journey, and in the unknown we are afraid. In the darkness, it is hard to find our footing. But we are not walking this path alone. As I hiked up the mountain, I had my daughter. We held hands and together we sang loudly and we bravely warded off any bears. We awaited the sunrise.
This pandemic has put us on a journey that is much longer than what we imagined; it is a journey whose end seems far away. We don’t know when we will see the sunrise. But we are on this journey together. We have a community to sing with and to hold hands (virtually) with, and to bravely ward off the bears - real or imagined.
At TBZ, we speak a lot about Hesed (Loving kindness) and Gevurah (strength and boundaries) as two guiding principles in our spiritual practice (represented in our beautiful two faith quilts). I want today to invite you to learn about two other sefirot, Nettzach, often translated as Victory, Endurance, Grit, Tenacity, Effort and Hod, often translated as Surrender, Humility, Gratitude, Non-effort.
Rabbi Art Green in his book Ehyeh explains:
“Netzach seeks to remake the world, to render everything perfect. It is a great force for goodness, that which inspires us to go forth and right the world’s wrongs, to reform the social order, to fulfill the dream of perfection.
Hod is the admission that we cannot do it all, the acknowledgment that we have to accept ourselves as we are and be grateful for life as it has been given to us. Beauty lies in that which is, if only we open our inner eye to behold it.
Netzach strives for transformation; it is the impatient force within us that believes we can accomplish anything, that reality should be subject to our wise reshaping power.
Hod is the other side of wisdom, the self that bows before the mystery of what is
as it is, the self who submits to reality and rejoices in doing so”. (page 53)
Netzach and Hod are great companions in our challenging journeys. They can help accept things as they are and work and overcome what can be changed. They can hold fear and joy, they can imagine perfection while holding imperfection. Perhaps that is what it means to walk with God.
Chapter 10 verse 12 in Parshat Ekev reads:
וְעַתָּה֙ יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל מָ֚ה יְהוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ שֹׁאֵ֖ל מֵעִמָּ֑ךְ כִּ֣י אִם־לְ֠יִרְאָה אֶת־יְהוָ֨ה אֱלֹהֶ֜יךָ לָלֶ֤כֶת בְּכָל־דְּרָכָיו֙ וּלְאַהֲבָ֣ה אֹת֔וֹ וְלַֽעֲבֹד֙ אֶת־יְהוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ בְּכָל־לְבָבְךָ֖ וּבְכָל־נַפְשֶֽׁךָ׃
And now, O Israel, what does the Adonai your God demand of you? Only this: to revere Adonai your God, to walk only in God’s paths, to love God, and to serve Adonai your God with all your heart and soul.
For me to walk up a steep mountain while fearing in the darkness of the forest, holding onto what I can change and what I can not, while singing, means to walk with God and love God with my heart and soul. I feel blessed to be able to walk through my fears with this Holy community.
May this Shabbat bring blessings to all of you and your loved ones.
May we find strength, courage, patience and open our heart with generosity.
May all those who are ill find healing.
May we have a joyful Shabbat!
Rav Claudia
