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TO BLOG
Procrastination and Laziness: Two Sides of Two Different Coins
As parents of children who have ADHD or those who have the proclivity to procrastinate, it can be easy to assume that this avoidance stems from laziness. In fact, there's a good chance that your children's teachers have told you that they could do so much better if they would just apply themselves and stop being so lazy.
It is likely that your children avoid doing certain tasks because those tasks elicit certain moods, and procrastination serves as a coping mechanism for the challenging emotions and negative moods (including boredom, anxiety, insecurity, frustration, resentment, and self-doubt) induced by said tasks. Children who have been diagnosed with ADHD, where focusing on tasks is already difficult, tend to procrastinate more due to feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety, or insecurity, as opposed to laziness. They worry that they won't be able to accomplish a task correctly, and so they figure it's better to not even try.
As parents and educators, we try to help these students by encouraging them to break a task down into smaller pieces, make a plan to tackle each piece, and then execute their plan. While this sounds good on paper, students' feelings of anxiety, fear, and inadequacy impedes them from making thoughtful decisions on how to attack the task at hand, which makes them more prone to procrastination, thereby creating a vicious cycle. So how do we help our children? The most important thing is to realize that their procrastination is not about productivity but about emotions. If we are able to help them manage their emotions properly by talking about them openly and acknowledging their value, then that will help them procrastinate less.
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Executive Functioning Skills Matter Every Day
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Strong executive functioning skills are essential in academic settings, but they are equally as necessary for everyday living. Thinking Organized seeks to teach organizational strategies that will help students learn to focus on being more organized in school and in life. Summer gives parents a great opportunity to model and practice these skills with their children in a real-life context, when academics are not necessarily the primary concern.
Take a look at our ideas below in order to get the most out of practicing executive functioning skills with your children this summer.
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Picture this. Your children walk in the door after soccer camp and head straight up to their room. They kick off their shoes at the door and drop their bags on the bedroom floor. The next morning before camp, they cannot find their shoes, they do not have a clean pair of shorts, and they do not have time to fill their water bottles before rushing out the door. If they had a system in place for organizing their soccer materials, getting out the door would be much less stressful for everyone involved.
Establish a material organization routine and practice it consistently
. Place hooks or cubbies by the door that serve as designated spaces for shoes, jackets, bags, or equipment. Your children can empty their bag by putting dirty clothes in the hamper and replacing them with clean ones, in addition to dumping out old water, refilling water bottles, and placing them the refrigerator for the next day.
Create lists.
It is not sufficient to just tell your children to complete tasks, or to simply get ready for soccer camp. Instead, write out a specific list (or share one through an app like Wunderlist-it won't get lost!) and help guide them through the organization process the first few times until they can complete the list independently. The list should break down exactly what you want your children to do step-by-step.
Get your child's input
. Many children do not like feeling as though they are "forced" to do something, so it is crucial to involve your children in creating systems of organization. By doing so, they are more likely to follow-through and can participate in identifying their needs and formulating solutions to address them.
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Even though summer offers respite from the daily grind of school, homework, and after-school activities, your children are likely still busy with a variety of household tasks and activities each week. Often, parents mention that they tell their children what they need them to do and they do not listen. Chances are that the kids forgot or did not receive directions that were specific enough for them to follow.
Provide more explicit instructions with a time limit
. Specific directions prevent confusion and encourage accountability. For example, instead of telling your children to "set the table," say, "I need you to set the table by 6:00 pm. This includes plates, napkins, forks, and cups for five people." The specificity and time limit provide a clear purpose to your children's actions that does not leave for ambiguity. In addition, write down or have your children take note of key words like "five plates, napkins, forks, and cups" on a whiteboard or checklist that can be easily referenced.
Estimate how long tasks should take to complete.
In order to effectively complete tasks, it is important to know how long each will take to complete so that your children can budget their time appropriately. For example, make a list of everything that needs to be accomplished during your children's morning routine. Then, ask your children to estimates how long it will take to complete each task and plan backward to calculate what time your children should wake up. This is a good time to set realistic expectations for what can be done before heading out the door.
Revise
. When creating lists and budgeting time to complete tasks, your children may notice that they face difficulties completing everything on the list, which may mean they need to wake up earlier. Or, they may decide to cut down on the morning list (perhaps completing some tasks the night before) so that the alarm can go off a little later. Practice the routine and make revisions where necessary; perhaps you can use a timer to help move your children through each task, so that they remain within their allotted timeframe.
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FINAL THOUGHTS
The overarching goal here is to increase your children's awareness about the importance of executive functioning skills in everyday life and to find strategies that work best in helping them be successful with daily tasks that might currently be a struggle. It takes time and practice, but once your children realize how much more efficient they can be, leaving time for activities that they enjoy, they gain confidence and develop effective habits not only for today, but also for their many tomorrows.
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