Anyone who has heard me speak or has read my articles and Bible studies for any length of time should be well educated as to the miserable divorce rates in our God-ordained (
Romans 13:1-4
) but sin-infected profession. That issue alone means that our kids are left without a
united
mother and father (not God's will or His best for us).
The role of fathers, already negatively impacted by sin in general, is often further eroded by the issues systemic to police work. Accordingly, God has pressed me to share His "prescription" for what ails us in this area.
For many of us, Father's Day serves as a painful reminder of these issues on multiple fronts. Praise God, there
IS hope and forgiveness,
and God DOES have "
The Plan
" to both fix what ails us and restore what Satan is working so hard to destroy -- stay with me!
First, let's understand that All fatherhood comes from God.
Ephesians 3:14-15
says, "
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name
." The Hebrew word for "father" --
Abba
-- is loosely translated as "pappa" or "daddy." God reveals to us in this passage that we as fathers are to be diligent in lovingly instructing (training) our children in the ways and words of the Lord for their own spiritual development and well-being. Fathers who choose (yes, it is a choice) to be obedient to God's commands as revealed in Scripture will do just that. Through Solomon, God tells us in
Proverbs 22:6
to
"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it
." To "train" indicates the first instruction that a father and mother give to a child in their early education. This vital training is designed to make clear to children the manner of life they are intended for. As cops, we understand "training" but sadly, many of us fail to apply these training concepts at home and in our personal lives.
Now let me be clear folks: as an unbeliever (or, at best, what
J. Vernon McGee called a "make-believer"
), I was NOT a good father. Praise God, if there is hope and forgiveness for me (there was), there is for YOU as well.
I have some favorite dads in Scripture. The thing I love about them is that they are all ordinary men. The only thing that made them extraordinary was that God chose them and they said "yes."
Abraham is one of those men. "
For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what He has promised him
" (
Genesis 18:19
).
What an awesome verse about God's plan for fatherhood. Here is a purpose statement from God to each of us as dads. This is our call (as cops we understand what it is to have a "call") and this is our place. Let's look at these words in this powerful verse:
For I have chosen him
The word "chosen" in the Hebrew describes the intimacy of God -- that He knows and recognizes you -- and that He will show you what He has for you. His choosing you is His commitment to teach you His ways as a dad. Think of it. You have been chosen (handpicked) by God to father (serve, lead, train and love) the children He has given you! No one else can take your place. No matter what you feel you are lacking, you are or CAN BE the perfect dad for your children. With all of your flaws and with all of your fears, you have been chosen. Your children need you (even as adults). You are God's answer for their deepest yearnings for identity, value and love. You have been chosen to express God's heart that your children are fully accepted and unconditionally loved. God can use your heart, your presence, your hugs, your laughter and your voice to engrave His eternal identity and love into their beings.
So that he will direct his children after him
The Hebrew meaning for
direct
is to command; to order. After God chooses us for fatherhood, He then enables us to direct our children in His ways. We direct our children through modeling and mentoring (discipleship) in the ways of the Lord as revealed in His Word, the Bible. Understand this -- if we don't give them direction they will receive it from their peers, media, culture and all the other places in the world that are so ready to influence them. The enemy is looking for you to abdicate your place so he can come in with his authority and captivate your children through His ways. And NO, it is NOT too late!
Keep the way of the LORD
The Hebrew meaning for
keep
is to watch, guard, observe, to cling to. As fathers do we model keeping the ways of the Lord? Do our children see us watching, guarding and observing His commands? Do they see us in everyday life clinging to the words and the ways of the LORD? Reading our Bibles? Going to church? If not, ASK Him to help you obey Him in leading and "field training" your kids in the things of God! I promise you -- if YOU are obedient and faithful, God will answer and give you the power to do what He has called you to do!
By doing what is right and just
In the Hebrew these words deal with standards, relating to God's righteousness. We keep God's ways as men when our actions model His righteousness and justice. Ordinary men become extraordinary fathers when they show up and say "yes" to God. Ordinary men and their ordinary families alter the destiny of nations by clinging to God and walking in His ways under the power of the Holy Spirit that indwells EVERY true believer. Is that you? My brothers, it can be!
You are chosen. You are God's man for God's time. You are the ordinary dad who can alter history by loving, training, praying for and directing your children everyday. The time is now. Our Heavenly Father is waiting to bring about His promises for you. And no, it is not too late!
But I'm a cop (you say)! So what! Do what you can, when you can. Don't take on extra overtime (the non-mandatory kind) when you should be spending that time with your spouse, your kids and frankly, with God (including church). Ask God to help you separate "the job" (and the stuff we see) from our interaction with our wives and kids. Impossible? Outside of being in a genuine relationship with our
Abba
Father through His Son, pretty much! But "in Christ," NOTHING is impossible.
Brothers, or calling into law enforcement does NOT negate our calling as husbands and fathers! The two can exist side-by-side (with His help)! God WILL show you the "how" if you're walking in obedience and seeking Him with all your heart!
This all being said, let me get real with you for a moment. As I've often shared, I was not living for God when my son was born and, until I repented and came to a genuine, life-saving/live-CHANGING faith in Christ many years later, I was not the dad He called me to be. That probably describes many of you to one degree or another. The good news is that while there are consequences for our rebellion, when we turn to God in repentance and faith, He is true to forgive us, change us and begin a process of reconciliation and restoration. This is real hope for us both NOW and the future (the time we have left). Accordingly, let's not wallow in our past failures as dads but instead turn to God in faith and ask the Holy Spirit to empower us (we can't do it on our own) to be the kind of fathers He has called us to be, starting NOW.
And what about our spouses (or even ex-spouses) of the dads out there? If you're married to a dad (or future dad), PRAY daily for him and with him. Even if you're divorced from your kids' father,
PRAY for him
and don't seek to block your kids from spending time with him (safety issues aside, of course). Teach your kids to respect their fathers. Seek God's direction on how you can biblically support your husband in fathering your kids. Don't undermine and don't seek to take over his God-ordained role. Then see (for starters), "
Five Ways to Encourage Your Husband as a Dad
."
Finally, and with the understanding that many of us may not have been great dads or have not had the best fathers ourselves, let me encourage you both forgive your dads for their failings and also ask your own children to forgive you for yours. Most importantly, repent and seek God's forgiveness for where YOU've failed. Some of you will say that your failings are so egregious that forgiveness is impossible, and this would be true aside from the fact that
NOTHING
is impossible with God
and that, as
true believers
, we alone have the
indwelling power of the Holy Spirit
to help us accomplish what would otherwise be impossible on our own. Ultimately, the cure for what ails us as men, husbands AND fathers is found through God in Christ alone!
So, if you are reading this and have never
repented
of your sin and entered into a genuine, life-saving/life-changing personal relationship with God in Christ, let me urge you to do so NOW. And if you are a Christian but have not been living a fully surrendered life in Christ, then NOW is the time for you to repent and get back into a real relationship with Him. Aside from this kind of radical faith, it is indeed IMPOSSIBLE for us to be the kind of fathers He commands us to be.
So where do I start? Begin by scrolling down to the links I've shared for you below under "
KNOW GOD?
" Then get into His Word (the Bible) DAILY! Spend time with Him in prayer (DAILY). Get planted in regular
iron sharpens iron
fellowship with other believers (in a solid, Bible-teaching church; men's Bible studies; and -- for us cops -- in a FCPO chapter or similar Christian police ministry). Need more help? Feel free to
contact me
!
Additional Resources
(1) A wonderful, wholly biblical example of a godly father is
Jehonadab
in
Jeremiah 35
. Some have called him the "greatest Dad in the Bible" outside of God Himself.
(2) Biblical example of a poor father: David (yes, that David)! David was a permissive father who failed to intervene and properly lead and discipline his children. However, and while he (and others) suffered the consequence of his sin, David was also a father who repented and turned back to God. Are you?
(4) Every dad needs to see the film
Courageous
(or see it again if you've already watched it). Here is "
The Resolution
" that came from this Holy Spirit-inspired film:
I do solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children.
I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home.
I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me.
I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength.
I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly.
I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy [a cop's call].
I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion.
I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family.
I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.
I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God.
I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will.
I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory.
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. -
Joshua 24:15
I will!
Will YOU?
Start TODAY!
Have a blessed
Father's Day!
______________________
KNOW GOD?
(1) Do you falsely believe that you can "earn" or otherwise "badge" your way into heaven and escape hell because you consider yourself to be a "
good
" cop or "good" person? That you can be "good" enough without God? Take the
Good Person Test
and see how you do!
(2) Jesus' first recorded words in His earthly ministry were and remain, "
Repent and believe in the Good News
" (
Mark 1:15
). To
repent
is a "180" -- a complete,
radical
change of mind and heart as it relates to our sin (as God defines it). To "believe" (
pisteuo
in the original Greek) as Jesus intends it here is to wholeheartedly trust and
surrender
your life to Him in faith in the same way we have "faith" that our body armor will do its job against the rounds it is intended to stop; that a well-maintained weapon will function properly when used in defense against criminals intent on destroying us or others; or that our parachute will open when it is supposed to (we stake our very lives on it)! For more, see
What does it mean to believe in Jesus?
(3) This same concept of "
believe
" (the saving kind) is further revealed in
John 3:1-21
where Jesus says, "
... you must be born again
." Again, note our Lord's emphasis on the word "
must
" (not "may" or "should" or even "someday"): this is ultimately the life-saving AND life-changing personal relationship (and NOT "religion") with Jesus Christ that I stress here every week (see
What does it mean to be a born again Christian
? [hint -- there is no other kind]). Folks, it is only through this miraculous event that we can be made "righteous" before a just and Holy God and thus become part of His family.
(5) Need more? Then check out this powerful, short video message shared by my fellow "radical," Maj.
Travis Yates
:
Cops and Salvation
.
(6) Have you now said "yes" to Jesus as Lord and Savior but are wondering what to do next? The "now what" is also an important part in dealing with the issues that can lead to suicide and sin in general. Click on,
Now what?
MC
