GHF Journey - Imposter Syndrome

What If My Kid Isn’t Gifted After All?

by Mary Paul

My kid isn’t doing T.V. shows about his amazing knowledge of anatomy. He isn’t wowing college professors with his math acumen. He isn’t reading yet at the ancient age of 6, and he doesn’t even like Harry Potter. (Too anxiety-inducing.)

He thinks poop jokes are hilarious. He talks alllllll the time! He loves building things, but what 6-year-old doesn’t love Legos, right? What if he’s not really gifted after all? What if he’s just an average, slightly nutty kid with some special needs? What if everything I thought was true wasn’t, and I’ve been blogging about giftedness all this time when he’s not gifted at all?

Imposter syndrome takes many forms, but this one has to be the oddest I’ve encountered. I’m going to call it Imposter Mom Syndrome – because it’s not really about me, it’s about my kid.

For the record, I know in the marrow of my bones that the Engineer is gifted. I know it. I can’t always define it, I certainly can’t provide test results, and I have trouble emphasizing just how far from “normal” our lives are. He’s gifted. He’s a gifted kid from a gifted family who celebrates and accepts differences to the point that they are not differences, they’re just us.

But I go on these parenting groups for gifted kids and I read things like: “my child just went on NBC Tonight to discuss her passion for elderberries.” Or “my son is so into anatomy he has all the bones of the legs and feet memorized! And he’s only 2!” Or the most hurtful: “all gifted children read early. Mine started reading at 15 months, and I just thought that was normal.”

( Keep reading... )

Mary Paul

Mary Paul lives in Georgia with her husband and 3 gifted and twice exceptional kids. She spends her days homeschooling, gardening, and writing for her blog, Homeschooling2e . Her work discusses the quirks of homeschooling intense kids while simultaneously living with chronic illness. Mary has written articles for Gifted Homeschoolers Forum and SEA Homeschoolers, and is published in an academic collection titled “A Press Divided: Newspaper Coverage of the Civil War.” Her educational materials can be found on the educational website Teachers Pay Teachers under the store name Homeschooling2e, and include a full elementary art history curriculum designed for hands-on, gifted learners. In her spare time she works on her art.

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From The Editor:

By Celi Trépanier, MEd

It’s common. I’d say quite pervasive. Actually, I think most everyone has been infected with it before. It’s called imposter syndrome. Have you had it?

It’s a beast of an affliction because it can hold us back from being all we can be and doing all we are capable of accomplishing. All of us—you, me, the world—lose when imposter syndrome has us in its grips.

I’ve had it; I have it. Can I really call myself a writer? My writing hasn’t won any awards. How can I be a writer if I still make grammatical errors? Yeah, no. I’m not a real writer; I just write stuff. Right? Yes, that’s right, and that is called imposter syndrome.

In “What If My Kid Isn’t Gifted After All?,” the GHF Journey’s featured article, GHF writer, Mary Paul, a noted writer and mother of three gifted children, discusses imposter syndrome in a different realm. As Mary states, “Imposter syndrome takes many forms, but this one has to be the oddest I’ve encountered. I’m going to call it Imposter Mom Syndrome—because it’s not really about me, it’s about my kid.”

Imposter Mom Syndrome. How many of you have been saddled with this strain of imposter syndrome? We hear other moms talk about their gifted child’s accomplishments, and then we compare. And our children may come up short in comparison. But as the popular saying goes, “If you’ve met one gifted child, you’ve met one gifted child.”

Read the rest of Mary’s article for a more detailed look at Imposter Mom Syndrome. If you’ve got Imposter Mom Syndrome, you’ll find solace and support from Mary Paul’s perspective on this phenomenon.

The GHF Journey would not be possible if it weren’t for two exceptional GHF volunteers, Nikki Hegstrom, our editor, and Stacie Brown McCullough, the GHF Writers Group manager. They are responsible for the high level of relevant content the GHF Journey provides to our readers.

As always, you can depend on GHF to continue to provide resources and support for your gifted journey. Join the GHF Discussion Group on Facebook, where you will find a welcoming, supportive community ready to help. Sign up to attend one of GHF’s Expert series—live, interactive Zoom presentations featuring educators, authors, parents, and experts in education and giftedness.

All of us here at GHF wish you and your family health, patience, and strength during this unprecedented time.

We Hope You Enjoy The GHF Press Latest Release

Gifted Myths: An Easy-to-Read Guide to

Myths on the Gifted and Twice-Exceptional

by Kathleen Humble

Is Giftedness a myth? What is a Gifted Child? Why is Giftedness such a hot-button issue? Where does the fear and dislike of ‘gifted’ come from?

Come on an adventure about how Mrs Einstein, newspaper articles from the 1920s, and the San people of the Kalahari Desert can help us understand what gifted is – and is not.

In an easy-to-read style, Gifted Myths explores these and other stories on the history, science, and lived experience of gifted and twice-exceptional families.

Gifted Myths is a must-read for parents, educators, and professionals who work with gifted and twice-exceptional children.

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GHF connects all sorts of people who love gifted learners. We offer both family and professional memberships to support and encourage adults working to create new ways of educating gifted learners. Our members homeschool gifted and twice-exceptional kids, run homeschool co-ops and microschools, write to foster understanding of gifted and twice-exceptional learners, mentor students one-on-one, teach online classes, provide services specifically designed to meet the social and emotional needs of gifted and twice-exceptional learners, and more. We'd love for you to join us.

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