July's Newsletter Theme:
'
Family'
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New! FOUR Helpful Articles! Look Inside!
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'Family': by birth or by choice, Family Matters
!
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a non profit 501(c)3
Because of you and our simple MISSION, more
kids are being protected, more adult survivors served!
NAASCA has a single purpose, to address issues related to childhood abuse and trauma including sexual assault, violent or physical abuse, emotional traumas and neglect .. and we do so from two specific perspectives
:
- educating the public, especially as related to getting society over the taboo of discussing childhood sexual abuse, presenting the facts that show child abuse to be a pandemic, worldwide problem that affects everyone
- offering hope for healing through numerous paths, providing many services to adult survivors of child abuse and information for anyone interested in the many issues involving prevention, intervention and recovery
Building a survivor / activist / professional community ... because
together we can do what we cannot do alone
.
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JOIN!
NAASCA's daytime Recovery Meetings
- ZOOM series - 3 times/week, 2pm EST!
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To all NAASCA members,
We're delighted to invite you to join our NAASCA daytime series on ZOOM.
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No advanced registration is required !!
We're using a new ZOOM Meeting ID#:
769 832 8303
NAASCA's daytime Recovery Meetings, are now held
Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays
, coming to you virtually on ZOOM. They are hosted by Bill Murray and Linda Vidi, who will lead the meetings.
Please join us, if you wish! You can choose to appear on-camera or not, it's up to you. But no recording is allowed. Every adult is invited to participate. These will be Q&A discussion meetings.
Let's meet virtually – since we're all 'stuck' at home!
WHEN:
Every Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday – 2pm EST / 11am PAC
TOPIC:
NAASCA's daytime Recovery Meetings
ZOOM.us
- Meeting ID#:
769 832 8303
PLEASE PASS IT ON!!!! Linda and I are looking forward to having you join us!
Yours in love and service,
Bill
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Welcome to the July 2020 NAASCA Newsletter
Thank you for subscribing to our newsletter mailing list!
Please encourage others to get in touch by suggesting they
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
This month's newsletter theme is:
'Family'
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Upcoming July Dates
Family Reunion Month
National Black Family Month
National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month
Bereaved Parents Awareness Month
Make a Difference to Children Month
National Child-Centered Divorce Month
National Family Reunion Month
National Purposeful Parenting Month
July 1: Canada Day, celebrating the creation of Canada in 1867
July 4: U.S. Independence Day
July 11: National Cheer Up The Lonely Day
July 18: Toss Away the “Could Haves” and “Should Haves” Day
July 26: National Disability Independence Day
July 26: National Parent’s Day – Fourth Sunday in July
July 27: National Love is Kind Day
~~~~~~~~~
A NOTE FROM BILL
Exciting news !!! NAASCA has gone Spanish !!!
We've launched our first Spanish pages on the NAASCA web site.
To get there simply enter the word 'espanol' after the regular URL .. like this:
The CONTACT page identifies the volunteers who are helping get the Spanish portion of the NAASCA effort up and running.
You're familiar with the English site's tools, services, and resources, and we'll be duplicating many of them in Spanish.
If you encounter other bi-lingual or Spanish folks send them to our two new 'NAASCA en Español' Facebook groups, one
PUBLICO
, the other
CERRADO
.
Please share this info to our Latino NAASCA family members!
And remember, we now do THREE 'special guest' episodes each week .. every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
We'll need additional guests to tell their stories in February .. so there are now several slots open that we want to fill in! Please send me an email if you'd like to participate:
Bmurray3rd@aol.com
The 'Current Schedule' on the front page of our
NAASCA.org
web site accurately reflects the OPEN dates (clearly marked in GRAY).
Here's looking ahead for a wonderful New Year in 2020!!
In gratitude to each of you, I am .. yours in service,
Bill
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Dedicate your birthday to supporting NAASCA
by Bill Murray
Recently, and all of a sudden, it was that time again .. my BIRTHDAY !!! .. (March 26, 1953)
It seems like this happens every year! LOL
There are numerous ways to support our truly unique organization.
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Or, if you prefer, join our
LinkedIn
group!
We're building a survivor / activist community!
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NAASCA's SCAN Shows are Now on Three Platforms!
All our "Stop Child Abuse Now" talk radio shows are now available as 'on-demand' podcasts on three different platforms!
by Bill Murray
It's amazing, but NAASCA and our 'sister effort' LACP (Los Angeles Community Policing) have produced over 3000 "Stop Child Abuse Now" and "Community Matters This Week" talk radio shows!
We do our shows on BlogTalkRadio five-nights-a-week, all but Saturday and Sunday evenings, and each is recorded as it's being aired. It doesn't take long for the library to add up.
Now there are three ways to access these podcasts:
1. Directly through our
NAASCA web site
's 'ARCHIVES' by simply clicking on the episode's name (a number)
2. By using
APPLE Podcasts
for iPhone-style mobile devices – thanks to Dwight Hurych, North Carolina, for setting this up as a NAASCA volunteer!
3. Through
GOOGLE Podcasts
for those who use Android phones – thanks to Charm Isom-Asenime for explaining how to hear our shows on the GOOGLE Podcast platform, too,
NAASCA's 'ARCHIVES' are accessed through the NAASCA website's HOME page where it says 'current schedule'. Each year is listed there.
Please see full details, including how to download the Apple and Google Podcast apps, on the NAASCA website page:
I am so pleased that NAASCA has increased its outreach through these two additional venues!
Please help us SHARE about these new platforms by spreading the word to as many survivors and advocates you can.
We hope this enhances our ability to execute our mission: educating the public about childhood abuse, and offering hope and healing to survivors.
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Family: If You Can’t
Live with Them,
Create Your Own
Family Is Not About Biology;
It Is About Unconditional Love,
Support, and Acceptance.
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We all know the scary truth: an unbelievably large percentage of child abuse and child sexual abuse perpetrators are people we trust. The perpetrators are usually family members, more than teachers, coaches, or any other trusted adult. Child abuse that is not sexual almost always comes from the parent or family member entrusted with your safety to help raise you.
So, it makes sense, many of us, adult victims of child abuse, feel orphaned, without any “family” to call our own. We are frightened to trust and certainly do not want to see those that broke our trust. We may forgive, but we will never forget.
And as we age, we feel a void. While others are introducing new babies to extended family, or sharing milestones with their family, we sit and wish. We wish we had that bond with family to enjoy milestones in our lives.
Do you want to know a secret? It is something our abusers never wanted us to know. And they did a great job of sheltering us from this truth. The truth (the secret) is family has nothing at all to do with biology. It has nothing to do with blood. Family is about love. And your family can be something you create with others that want to be part of your circle.
Break the Tradition
You are a survivor. Being a survivor has always been about breaking tradition and stepping outside of your comfort zone. Tradition says you have a mother, father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and extended family bred out of the same cloth.
Yet, that also means they continue a cycle that each family creates. It is up to you to break the cycle and put an end to a life of abuse and violence. Breaking the tradition means to break this cycle. You do not have to accept this as your fate and do not have to accept these people as your true family.
Sure, when you need to know medical information, you, like all adopted children and those without family, will need to investigate blood records. But blood only helps determine biology.
You have a right to a support system filled with caring and compassionate people. Some people are friends.
Others are the people you can call on in a moment’s notice to listen to you, take you in, and help your through the toughest times. They are in your corner and your loudest cheering section. These amazing people in your circle are your family. They are the ones that love you unconditionally and support your through everything life throws at you. And you would o the same for them.
Your family is what you create and will help you navigate life. DO not limit it to those that never helped you in the first place. And for those blood relatives who were always on your side, let them in and create your new blended family.
Stay safe,
If you are the person in need of help, we are here for you. And remember,
NAASCA
has a ton of resources available to make sure you and those you love are safe, even during a worldwide pandemic.
Stay safe. Stay healthy. Stay sane.
Deb Ferguson, NAASCA volunteer
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Five Factors that Contribute to Resilience
For survivors of childhood sexual abuse, developing resiliency is a learned skill. We may be adept in a few areas, but as young children our brains were too young to cope with the overwhelming circumstances of abuse.
Research indicates that there are at least five psychosocial factors that contribute to resiliency. These include an active coping style, a positive outlook, cognitive flexibility, social support, and spiritual influences.
Developing an active versus a passive coping style can be challenging for a CSA survivor who has difficulty creating healthy boundaries or tends to ruminate on unhealthy patterns of thought. Some keys to fostering active coping skills include being aware of our thoughts and reframing them, problem solving, facing personal fears, and exercising the ability to manage stress. For instance, as someone with an autoimmune disease, I’ve decided to leave my full-time teaching position to reduce my potential exposure to Covid-19. I could either tell you, “I had to leave my job and now I have to work from home” or “I chose to leave full-time teaching and now I get to work from home.” One approach is passive while the other is active.
Another key to becoming a more resilient individual is fostering optimism. According to Connor and Davidson who created the Resilience Scale (2003), resilient individuals are persistent and believe in their own ability to manage stressful situations. It is important to note, though, that optimism alone will not lead to resiliency. Instead, a person must be both optimistic and cognitively flexible. He or she can reevaluate the trauma experience and create meaning from it - to alter or change it in some way. This is frequently exemplified through different forms of altruism such as advocacy, speaking, or promoting reform at the local or state levels. Getting involved in a group such as NAASCA is one way to create meaning from past trauma.
Social support is imperative to resilience for several reasons. It reduces risk-taking behavior, encourages active coping skills, decreases loneliness, and has a positive impact on self-worth. As we’ve experienced global lockdowns, the importance of connection has become starkly clear. Please note the resources listed in the previous article if you need to connect with a therapist or other profes
People who maintain a spiritual component to their lives through prayer, meditation, or by attending a regular faith service are also more resilient. Researchers contend that spiritual involvement provides opportunities for growth after trauma by decreasing suffering, instilling hope, and promoting a sense of control.
Social scientists continue to explore healing and recovery from abuse and provide valuable insight, but it’s important we’re patient with ourselves in the process. Whatever your areas of strength, what is one step you can take today to become more resilient?
Tammy Kennington, NAASCA Volunteer
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Ten Steps to Reaching Out
When I can't grab the hand of hope for myself, I grab the hand of one who has hope for me.
It is amazing what the miracle of hope can do in one’s life!
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How to find courage in the dark:
Ten Steps to Reaching Out
1. I understand that reaching out doesn't always come naturally. It may feel awkward and difficult, and I can reach out anyway.
2. I accept the thought that reaching out is a sign of strength, not weakness. I can choose to fight to make my life better, even if it means borrowing the strength of others until I am strong enough myself.
3. I begin to understand my rate of healing doesn't have to be compared to others.
4. I can reclaim my worth by taking care of myself.
5. I can find safe places and people to be around.
6. I can fight negative thinking when I feel anxious.
7. I can write down ways to reach out that I feel comfortable with.
8. I understand that reaching out is a normal process of everyone’s life.
9. I can learn to respect my feelings and recognize this is an important step to reaching out.
10. I recognize each day is a new chance to reach out for the support I deserve.
Courage and Fear are neighbors: you have to decide which one leads.
© Malisia McKinney (Mia)
NAASCA’s "Stop Child Abuse Now" (SCAN) shows are broadcast live 5 nights a week, Monday through Friday, LIVE at 8pm EST (so 5pm PST) for 90 minutes, at this link:
www.BlogTalkRadio.com/NAASCA
The dedicated call-in number is:
646-595-2118
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The Importance of our Awareness of the “A” Word (abuse)
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Hello, I’m Randi, and my mother did things to me that were cruel. This is the story I told myself growing up. It was the story I told others as well. However, the sad truth is that saying those words will not guarantee that someone will start listening.
Why? I’ve learned the hard way that awareness is everything, and that the lack of awareness of the “A” word (abuse) made it so that my story wasn’t fully understood or heard. Why is there a lack of awareness or desire to learn about emotional abuse? One main reason is that emotional abuse is harder to define. Abuse, specifically emotional, is still taboo. Since there are no physical scars, was it really abuse?
This was the question I could never answer when I would tell my mother that what she was doing was wrong. Like most abusers, she told me it was my fault. Starting at 8-years-old, I was told that if only I was more respectful, she wouldn’t have thrown me out of the house. I was “retrieved” at the beginning, but over time, I would have to bang on the door to be allowed to re-enter. There were incidences where I was not allowed into my home all night and had to sleep in the mudroom.
One time, I was told to sleep on a chair in the basement. I felt abandoned, unwanted, discarded, degraded, unsafe, and conditioned to see that the outside world was a bad place (after all, my “punishment” was to have to leave my home), but was this abuse? I was clothed, I was fed, I was physically healthy. Was she disciplining me in a way that I didn’t like, or was it something more?
Over the years, I told my story to a few. Once I told them what was going on, we never spoke of it again. Their discomfort only reinforced my belief that although it was bad, it was not worth harping over. To this day, I have childhood friends that will call my mother “crazy” but have never used the “A” word to describe what happened to me. Shockingly, I told the details of my story to therapists who shook their heads with disbelief and simply labeled me as having General Anxiety Disorder. I was put on and taken off medication after medication. We discussed ways to “conquer my anxiety”. The lack of awareness of emotional abuse is mind boggling in retrospect. I never used the “A” word, and sadly, neither did they.
These were not terrible people. So why did they turn a blind eye to what was happening to me? This brings me to my second and third explanation. Denial and lack of awareness. There needs to be more light shined on emotional/psychological abuse so that there is never a doubt that abuse comes in many forms. The lack of openness and education about this made it easier to see my mother as a wacko rather than to see my mother as abusive. There isn’t enough widespread knowledge about the numerous ways abuse can rear its ugly head.
I learned from an early age that monsters are real. When I told my story, I exposed a rawness and a knowledge nobody should possess. I wonder to this day if/how my life would have changed if someone would have recognized that the terrible things happening to me weren’t just unconventional, they were downright abusive. So how do we spread awareness? It is the proverbial story of the chicken and the egg. Did the mainstream need to step-up and take initiative to learn about abuse so they could have recognized my abuse for what it was? Or do survivors need to speak up and educate others so that the mainstream gains awareness? I think the answer is both.
With events going on in the world today, I have learned more than ever about the importance of awareness. Complacency will not allow for change, and there is so much change that needs to take place. As a child, there was nothing I could do to stop the abuse. It is sad and terrible that nobody saw my childhood for what it was. I was (and still am) a victim. I am also a survivor.
No matter what type of abuse we endured, no matter how devastating its effects were in our life, we are still here. That makes all of us survivors. The people in our lives failed us, and it is necessary that we show compassion for ourselves, look our pain in the eye, and label it for what it is, abuse. We need to spread the word that abuse comes in many forms. We need to face the discomfort and the denial that others have shown. To do so gives us power in a world where we were powerless.
Hello, I’m Randi, and I am the victim and survivor of child abuse. I am sharing my story to illustrate the importance of knowledge and change. We have a responsibility to advocate for ourselves and scream the “A” word. We cannot change our pasts, but if we speak our truths, perhaps we can save others from the horrors we experienced. I can’t promise that everyone will listen, but that shouldn’t stop us from trying. We were once alone, but we aren’t now. I hear you. I will listen, and I promise to stand beside you.
Randi B. Latzman
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NAASCA's Grateful to All Our Members & Volunteers !
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We Need YOU!
We Need Each Other!
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Fighting For Kids,
Serving Adult Survivors
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Did you know that NAASCA is
entirely staffed by non-paid volunteers
including the Board of Directors?
All the services, programs, tools, resources, and social media efforts that we offer entirely
FREE
to anyone, anytime, anywhere in the world are staffed by volunteers from our NAASCA family!
It literally would not be possible without
YOU
.
There are many ways you can volunteer with NAASCA. If you have a little time or a lot, your help is greatly appreciated and needed. Check out our list of available positions here:
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A gift to NAASCA, created for us by Terri Lanahan of Butte, Montana, author of "
Hear My Voice
".
This is a tool anyone can download and use as a help whenever making a presentation on child abuse and trauma. It's a set of some two dozen PowerPoint slides that one can show on a laptop, send in an email, or can project on a screen for a larger group. Activist members of the NAASCA family might want to use it to explain any number of aspects of child abuse and trauma recovery.
Terri's wonderful PowerPoint presentation is located on NAASCA web site's '
Promotional Tools
' page and in our social media groups.
Show off NAASCA -- our mission, services and tools !
REMEMBER .. On the NAASCA web page you'll find links to
how to get
even more great help
when making presentations or during fundraising:
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Have You Listened to Our Talk Radio Show Lately ?
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Monday through Friday evenings we broadcast an internet-based live streaming talk show. This is one of the best
FREE
SERVICES we offer to our NAASCA members!
All shows start at
8pm EST
(so that's
7pm CEN
,
6pm MTN
&
5pm PAC
)
We really want to hear from you!
Anyone can participate or just listen to the show by calling:
(646) 595-2118
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Are You a Survivor of Child Abuse Looking for Support?
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In need of support in your local community?
NAASCA provides listings for your local area in our
Recovery Groups and Services
page. We have gathered ALL the English speaking recovery groups and services we can find,
not only in
North America but from around the world. This list can connect you with numerous agencies, therapy, support groups and other resources in your local area.
Looking for support after hours or from home?
Can't find a group you can get to easily or want to connect when it is after business hours? Needing a way to talk about your story but want to stay anonymous? We also provide a link to another separate listing for
Online Groups and Services
, for Internet-based recovery groups.
As you can imagine, keeping this listing current and updated is a huge task. You can help other survivors find the support they need.
Submit updates for the '
Recovery Groups List
' to Carolin O'Hara:
Submit any updates for the '
Online Resource List
' to Valerie:
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You are not alone, and never have to be, a day at a time!
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All members of NAASCA are part of our 'NAASCA family', and that's not just something we say. We care about each other and that includes YOU.
We want you to feel comfortable reaching out to any of our volunteers, with any of your questions about what NAASCA offers, or for help navigating the website.
Even if you simply want someone to talk to when you are dealing with a difficult moment in your recovery as a survivor... we are here for you.
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Some are listed as night owls, some as available 24/7, others are part of our International community, still others are young or helping some specific types of survivors. Try it!
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A Note from Our Founder and CEO:
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Healing from child abuse and trauma can be a very lonely journey .. but you'll never be alone again, a day at a time, if you don't want to be !!
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NAASCA belongs to no other group and receives no outside funding. We're self-supporting through our own members' voluntary contributions.
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Please consider a one time
or recurring donation
.
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Thanking you for all you do in the fight against child abuse and trauma and welcoming you to engage with your NAASCA family, I remain, as always,
Yours in service,
Bill Murray
, Founder and CEO
National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse.
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