I’m writing to explain why I’m reversing my position on saying Mourner’s Kaddish while we’re holding our services virtually. Below is my explanation of why I will be adding it to the services I lead moving forward, and leaving it as optional for other service leaders.
There are many parts of being a rabbi that I love. I love teaching, pastoral care, preaching, and studying Torah. However, there is one part of my job that I do not love: making halachic decisions for our community. I don’t like doing it because there is tension between the way a halachic ruling affects an individual and the way it affects a community. A decision that is good for the Jewish people as a whole may not be good for an individual. There is value in upholding the traditions that have sustained our people for millennia, and there is value in attending to the needs of a particular person. I feel torn when I make halachic decisions because I feel caught between being a guardian who has been entrusted to preserve our traditions and being a compassionate pastor.
These past two weeks, Conservative rabbis struggled with which prayers to say in virtual services. Do we recite the prayers that require a minyan, in particular the Mourner’s Kaddish? (Nobody seems to be missing the Barechu all that much.) The decision of which prayers to say is not left up to individual rabbis. There is a body of 25 rabbis who make halachic decisions for our movement. They’re called the The Committee of Jewish Law and Standards (CJLS). Last week, the CJLS revisited the
tshuva
(halachic position) they wrote on this topic a few years ago. Like me, the CJLS was torn between different values when making its decision. There is value in gathering in person, and there is value in including those who cannot attend a minyan in person. Is it more important to foster face-to-face gatherings that bind a community together, or to respect the needs of those that live too far away or are too infirm to attend services? There is something essential in being able to hug each other and break bread together, and there is something essential in reducing people’s sense of isolation.
The majority of rabbis on the CJLS ruled that despite the current unprecedented situation, we should uphold the value of gathering in person. In Jewish law majority and minority opinions are both presented. Unlike American law, where we follow only the majority opinion, in Jewish law we can follow either one since both of them are rooted in halacha. The majority ruled that we should not say prayers that require a minyan in a virtual sanctuary. However, there was a minority opinion that allowed for reciting the prayers that usually require a minyan in this time of extreme need. Usually, I follow the majority ruling. However, as I adapt to being a rabbi in this COVID-19 world, there are new things to consider. After receiving feedback from some of you, studying the
tshuva
again and conferring with colleagues, I came to the conclusion that now is a time to emphasize my role as pastor and not as guardian of the tradition.
Here is how we’ll move forward.
When I lead services, I will recite Mourner’s Kaddish. While we currently have no plans for other service leaders to lead, that might change. In that case, I will leave it up to the individual leader to decide whether he/she/they is comfortable reciting Mourner’s Kaddish in the absence of a physical minyan. If that leader chooses not to recite the Mourner’s Kaddish he/she/they will pause and leave time for those following along at home to recite it. However, I will not include Barechu or Kedusha, prayers that also require a physical minyan. This is my way of clarifying that this halachic ruling is temporary and is only to meet the needs of our current extreme circumstances.
For those of you that I hurt by my exclusion of the Mourner’s Kaddish last week, I apologize. I thank those of you who shared your experience with me so that I might learn from it and think deeply about what is needed for our community at this time.
I close with a blessing. “May God bless you and keep you. May God’s face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May God’s face be lifted up to you and may God grant you the gift of peace."
With a full heart,
