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It's April. You need to get away.
Escape. Scramola. Hit the vamoose button.
Jump on a jet (no 737 Max 8's) and discover a new culture. Surround yourself with the different; the refreshing; the amazing.
Or, ya know, stay home and envision all the glorious places you've dreamt about. Thought we'd provide a variety of suggestions for your consideration.
This is the...Travel Issue!
Happy April.
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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CONTACT: DAVID DANIELS 860 342 3778
DANIELS ENERGY GOES NUCLEAR
INTRODUCES NEW "HOT STUFF" FUEL
Portland, CT - April 1
David Daniels, scion of the 95 year-old Daniels Energy, today announced its expansion into the nuclear age. Effective April 31
st Daniels Energy will broaden its home heating services, beyond fuel oil and propane, to include Uranium-enriched Plutonium 238 in pellet form.
Branded Daniels "Hot Stuff," the Plutonium 238 pellets will be available in small bags and big bags. The small size bags should heat a home of approximately 2,100 square feet for 37 years.
The big bag portion, originally developed for use on U.S. Navy submarines, is expected to provide enough heat for a 4,000 sq. ft. home for 80 years.
Daniels expects homeowners will also enjoy the benefit of better night-time lighting, as it is expected that user homes will develop a sharp blue light glow with extended "Hot Stuff" use.
John Daniels, David's son suggested the market for big bag portion of "Hot Stuff" could include condominium associations and small neighborhoods.
"This is an exciting, even breathtaking, time for us, as we boldly go where no other company has gone - into the middle of the 21
st century with our hearts wide open and our eyes shut to the naysayers and doomsayers," said the buoyant senior Mr. Daniels.
According to the latest information from the Nuclear Regulatory Agency this will be an auspicious first test of a new approach to ending the country's dependence on fossil fuels. "What could go wrong?" said Assistant Director of the N.R.A., Carmine "Double Thumb" Pappardelle.
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It Was A Dark & Snowy Night - Quiz #1
You're traveling along and stumble onto this amazing monument and think...I could win a Visa gift card just by
telling us here
- exactly where you were when you took the pix.
Well, if you're correct answer is the one chosen, anyway!
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April Literary Assistance
If you're off to England this spring or summer, this could be of some help.
How To Tell If You Are In A Jane Austen Book
- Someone disagreeable is trying to persuade you to take a trip to Bath.
- Your father is absolutely terrible with money. No one has ever told him this.
- All of your dresses look like nightgowns.
- Someone disagreeable tries to persuade you to join a game of cards.
- A woman who hates you is playing the pianoforte.
- A picnic has gone horribly wrong.
- A member of the armed forces has revealed himself to be morally deficient.
- You once took a walk with a cad.
- Everyone in the neighborhood, including your mother, has ranked you and your sisters in order of hotness. You know exactly where you fall on the list.
- You say something arch yet generous about another woman both younger and richer than you.
- You have one friend; he is thirty years old and does business with your father and you are going to marry him someday.
- You attempt to befriend someone slightly above or slightly below your social station and are soundly punished for it.
- A girl you have only just met tells you a secret, and you despise her for it.
- You have five hundred a year. From who? Five hundred what? No one knows. No one cares. You have it. It's yours. Every year. All five hundred of it.
- There are three men in your life: one true love, one tempting but rakish acquaintance, and a third distant possibility - he is courteous and attentive but only slightly interested in you. He is almost certainly the cousin or good friend of your true love, and nothing will ever happen between you two.
- A woman who is not your mother treats you like her own daughter. Your actual mother is dead or ridiculous.
- You develop a resentment at a public dance.
- Someone you know has fallen ill. Not melodramatically ill, just interestingly so.
- A man proposes to you, then to another, lesser woman when you politely spurn him. This delights you to no end.
- A charming man attempts to flirt with you. This is terrible.
- You have become exceedingly ashamed of what your conduct has been.
- A shocking marriage of convenience takes place within your social circle two-thirds of the way in.
- A woman in an absurd hat is being an absolute b-ch to you; there is nothing you can do about it.
- You are in a garden, and you are astonished.
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Daniels Energy's Super Amazonian Offer
Buy One
Mitsubishi Electric Cooling &
Heating Unit To Cool One Room
Get The second Room
FREE*
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Cool Two Rooms
Only
Pay For One!
PLUS...
Get Amazon Prime FREE**
Cool your family room, living room, play room or basement.
Cool a second room - Free.
Let Daniels Do It!
We'll install two new Mitsubishi Ductless Split Head Units
(
that's the one that mounts on the wall)
- but you'll only pay for one! More than 350 homeowners took advantage of this program in the last two years - Now's the time to call!
Plus: Choose 0% - 18 month or
0.99% - 10 year financing*
Plus: Up to $500 EnergizeCT* Rebate!!!
For a limited time - Daniels Energy is offering the perfect cooling solution for two rooms when breaking down walls to install ducts is not an option! Mitsubishi Ductless systems are flexible, improve indoor air quality, save you money and can often be installed in one day!
Mitsubishi Electric Ductless Cooling can keep you cool all summer long!
* Up to 40% more efficient
* Quieter than a human whisper
* Improves air quality
* Compatible with popular smart thermostats
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Save up to $750*
Plus
Up to $500 EnergizeCT Rebate*
Plus
Your Choice of 0% or 0.99% Financing.*
Plus
Amazon Prime For One Year**
Plus
12-Year Mitsubishi Elite Contractor Warranty
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*Offer is for one standard compressor unit and two standard Mitsubishi Ductless Split head units. Discount depends on size of overall cooling solution. Daniels will deduct the cost of one AC head unit when installation of both units is done at the same time. **Anticipated value of head unit is up to $750. EnergizeCT offers the finance rate of 0.99% for 10 years and an immediate consumer rebate of up to $500 depending on equipment selected. Minimum size restriction and SEER ratings apply. 0%% for 18-mos. available through Synchrony Bank. **Daniels will reimburse the cost of Amazon Prime (up to $125 with a prepaid Visa card. If customer already has Amazon Prime, Daniels will provide a $125 prepaid Visa card. Amazon offer ends 6.30.19) Not available on previous sales. See Daniels Energy representative for complete details. Primary Mitsubishi offer ends: June 30, 2019 Daniels Energy: CT License S1-385517 HOD#19 / Daniels Propane. LLC: #846 CT License S1-302857
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Catch The Next Train - Quiz #2
You're off to see the broader world, so you grab the next train out.
From where?
Tell us here
and you may win one of those coveted $25 Visa gift cards. Hint: it's south of here.
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April's Dinner & A Movie
Travel to Italy tonight. Start with pasta and then Roman Holiday or The Italian Job. Pour a healthy glass of a robust red and slip into an Italian revery.
Pasta with Avocado Sauce
Start to Finish: 30 minutes
Ingredients
12 ounces spaghetti
2 avocados--halved, pitted and peeled
1 garlic clove, smashed
1 bunch scallions, roughly chopped
Juice of 1 lemon
¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
½ cup chopped parsley, for garnish
Directions
1. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the spaghetti and cook until al dente, 6 to 8 minutes.
2. While the pasta cooks, make the sauce: In the bowl of a food processor, pulse the avocados, garlic, scallions, lemon juice and olive oil until smooth.
3. When the pasta is tender, reserve ½ cup of the cooking water, then drain the pasta. Add the reserved water to the avocado mixture and process until smooth.
4. Add the sauce to the pasta and toss to coat. Season with salt and pepper. To serve, portion the pasta onto plates and garnish with parsley.
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Visit The Basement...
Time For A Tune-up
Yes, we know, it's been years since you were down there, but alas, you must visit on occasion.
Or...better,
Let Daniels Do It.
The tune-up on your oil furnace. Get your AC ready for the wicked heat to come. It's overdue and April is the perfect month to schedule that service. Plus you'll have time to plan your trip to Paris or Poland or Poughkeepsie.
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See New York...In A New Way
This is a fabulous book. It tells the history of the city using the path of Broadway from the time of the early Dutch settlers of the 1600's at the tip of Manhattan to today all the way to the edge of the Bronx.
Fascinating, informative and surprising, it's a book that will make you want to take a 13-mile walk!
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Travel...Back to the Exciting Days
of Early Dentistry!
So you're off on holiday when that troublesome bicuspid acts up. What do you do?
What did they do in the Indus Valley 8,500 years ago? Whatever was necessary!
Dental fun with bow drills!
Ever made a fire with a bow drill? Imagine that on your teeth!
While the second image is an early-20th century Inuit tool, ancient tools and texts found in the
Indus Valley
from ca. 5000-7000 B.C.E.
indicate that they had very similar mechanisms (minus the metal tip - theirs would have been stone) to remove rotted sections of the larger teeth.
If done proactively, as may have been practiced in the social elite, this would have resulted in much longer-lasting teeth than the common folk. Oh it must have been good to be King! Images - Farmer at the Dentist - 1616
(via
biomedicalephemera
)
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Visit the Czech Republic and...Laugh
The greatest Czech citizen is a man who doesn't exist.
Jára Cimrman was dreamed up as a modest caricature of the Czech people for a 1966 radio program, but he's been adopted as a sort of fictional national hero.
By general agreement he's an accomplished author, detective, poet, inventor, mathematician, playwright, sportsman, philosopher, traveler, teacher, and composer; in a 2005 television competition he would have been voted "The Greatest Czech" but was disqualified for not existing.
No one quite knows what he looks like, but his accomplishments are listed on an immortal
Wikipedia page
:
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He proposed the Panama Canal to the U.S. government while composing a libretto for an opera about it.
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Fleeing arctic cannibals, he came within 7 meters of reaching the North Pole.
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He invented yogurt.
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He created the first puppet show in Paraguay.
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He corresponded with George Bernard Shaw for many years, without receiving a response.
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He constructed the first rigid airship using Swedish steel and Czech wicker.
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He reworked the electrical contact on Edison's first light bulb and found a sublet for Gustave Eiffel.
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He suggested that Mendeleev rotate his first draft of the Periodic Table.
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He devised the philosophy of externism, the opposite of solipsism. In solipsism, the observer exists and the outside world does not. In externism, the outside word exists but the philosopher does not.
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he found three missed calls from Cimrman.
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If You Prefer To Travel... Light
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Daniels Energy Makes A Sweet Deal With The Girl Scouts
200 Boxes of Cookies Brings Smiles Aplenty.
Portland, CT - When David Daniels opened his front door and saw the smile on Kaelyn O'Shea's face, he knew what he had to do. Kaelyn, his next-door neighbor and girl scout, was selling cookies and David made the quick decision to do something nice - for his Daniels Energy customers.
David ordered 200 boxes of Girl Scout cookies which were delivered to customers during March when Daniels technicians visit to do annual tune-ups and service. "When I saw that smile I thought, this could be fun," said Daniels.
John Daniels, David's son and fourth generation member of the Daniels family, greeted more than 20 girl scouts and their parents as they gathered to deliver all the cookies. Portland Girl Scout troops 62769 and 60463 were both represented.
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Leave 'em Laughing
You Think You Know People And Then....
A woman is sitting at her husbands funeral. A man leans in to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?".
"No, go right ahead", the woman replies.
The man stands, clears his throat, says "Plethora", and sits back down.
"Thanks", the woman says, "that means a lot"
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Daniels Energy, 8 High Street, Portland CT 06480
Daniels Energy: CT License S1-385517 HOD#19 /
Daniels Propane. LLC: #846 CT License S1-302857
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