February 11, 2020 - Issue 20-06


Good Afternoon  ,

This week, we again visit Jim Riviello, who takes up the idea of the "Teflon leader" in this 23-minute podcast. It's well worth listening to.  The idea is to let things "slide off".

Jim reminds us that we are never responsible for what others say or do. We are responsible solely for our reaction to those things.

He recommends making two lists of things that trigger us - "set us off". 

One of those lists should be for the things in business that bother you. Maybe an employee does something irresponsible. Or someone is late, or doesn't show up, for an appointment. Perhaps the weather interrupts some project you're trying to finish.

The other list is for things in your personal life that set you off. It could be something your spouse does. Or how about a teenage son or daughter? Kids often trigger parents with their behavior. Some delight in doing that. Maybe it's traffic delays - very frustrating for many.

Only you know what bothers you most. Be honest with yourself in making these lists.

Now take those lists, and think about the items - what bothers you about them? Do this in a calm moment. Consider how you might react in a more rational way than you usually do. List ways of reacting rationally to each one. Just making the list is very effective. When you're consciously aware of something, you're well on the way to addressing it.

Then watch for those triggers in daily life, and catch your anger rising when they occur. Force yourself to settle down and react as you imagined when you were thinking calmly. As with any behavior change, this takes practice. You'll get better, though certainly not perfect - as Jim reminds us, we're human! Keep working to improve - you will!

Jim calls this method "catch-n-release". Catch yourself reacting angrily, and  release it.

Enjoy Riviello's podcast! I hope you find the advice valuable and put it to work for you.



John Stevens


Note: Archived issues of The Unity Community are available here.
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What "triggers" you? How might you react in a calmer and more rational way than you have in the past? Reply to this message or go  here  to have a conversation about it.

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About John

Throughout a career spanning over 45 years my management style has been one of building teams to bring several competent people together to focus on a common objective. I noted early in my career that, in most organizations, there is an enormous amount of time, energy, and effort wasted by people working at cross purposes.

As I transition to life in the Argentine outback, my focus shifts from coaching to helping other business coaches and advisers get their message out to their prospective clients. With my first-hand knowledge of the benefits of effective business coaching, I am uniquely qualified to help business advisers of all stripes convey their message.

Contact Info
John B. Stevens, Freelance Copywriter
Phone:
814-590-3854

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