NEW BRAUNFELS: Mollie B with Squeezebox & Ted Lange Krause’s Cafe at 7 p.m. Opening act by the Lederhosen Junkies at 5:30 p.m. Limited discounted tickets now at https://MollieBKrauses.Eventbrite.com.

CYCLONE: Squeezebox with Ted Lange and Mollie B at SPJST Lodge #24 in Cyclone, doors 6 p.m., dancing 7 to 11 p.m., $15 advance, $20 at the door, call (254) 985-2258 for tickets.

COUPLAND: Jake Penrod and Jason James at Coupland Dancehall, 8:30 p.m.

SCHROEDER: Kevin Fowler with Clay Hollis at Schroeder Hall near Goliad from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m.

NEW BRAUNFELS: Ruben U at Krause’s Cafe at 6 p.m.

AUSTIN: The Hot Peppers at Metcalf BBQ-Graceland (8600 US 290), 6 to 8 p.m.

BRAZORIA: Squeezebox with Ted Lange and Mollie B at Columbus Club Hall Brazoria (20632 N Highway 36, Brazoria, TX 77422). Admission $20 per ticket or $150 to reserve a table of six. Doors 5 p.m., dance from 6 to 10 p.m. Food will be available. No carry-ins allowed. For tickets and info, contact Lisa at (979) 215-0109 / greakett@sbcglobal.net, or Tammy at (979) 665-7790 / tamm315@gmail.com.

CISTERN: Blake & Reed from Mama Tried at Cistern Country Store, 8 p.m. to midnight.

NEW BRAUNFELS: Coltin’s Kin at Krause’s Cafe at 1 p.m., RXS Band 5:30 to 9:30 p.m..

NORDHEIM: Nathan Colt Young Band at the Nordheim Tractor Pull, 8 p.m.

NADA: Mollie B and Squeezebox at St. Mary’s Nada Community Center, doors 5 p.m. SOLD OUT!!!

WALBURG: Jason Kane White Band at Dale’s Essenhaus in Walburg, 6 to 10 p.m.

COUPLAND: Jason Allen at Coupland Dancehall, 8:30 p.m.

FRENSTAT: Summer Break Kickoff in Frenstat benefiting the Priest Religious Fund. Free battle dance with the Czechaholics and Dujka Brothers, 1 to 6 p.m. Holy Rosary Church Pavilion (8610 FM 2774, Caldwell, TX 77836).

HALLETTSVILLE: Blue Denim at Blase’s Hall in Hallettsville, music starts at 3 p.m.

DACOSTA: Red Ravens at Dacosta Hall, 8 to 11:30 p.m. $10 cover, food and set-ups available, BYOB. Doors open at 7 p.m.

ROUND TOP: Sean Orr and Texas Gold at the Stone Cellar in Round Top, 7 p.m.

SCHROEDER: Jeff Jacobs Band with Roadside Libby at Schroeder Hall near Goliad from 7:30 p.m. to 2 a.m.

BURTON: Robert Zientek with Allison & Paul at the White Horse Tavern, starts at 7 p.m.

SEVEN POINTS: The Studebakers at Vernon’s Lakeside Bar on Cedar Creek Lake (2101 E Cedar Creek Pkwy. Seven Points, TX) Music from the 50s, 60s and 70s, 6:30 to 10:30 p.m.

SCHROEDER: Mollie B at Schroeder Hall, doors 3 p.m., music 4 to 7 p.m. $15 adv. tickets, $20 at the door. VIP tables for 6 available. Call (361) 573-7002.

SEATON: Larry Burgin And Texas Tradition at Sefcik Hall in Seaton.

TAITON: The Alex Meixner Band at Taiton Community Center, 1 to 4 p.m., $10 admission.

SCHULENBURG: Swiss Alp Dance Club feat. music by Fritz Hodde and the Fabulous Six at the Schulenburg Hall (KC Hall), 3 to 6 p.m. Guests welcome.

HOUSTON: Slavic Heritage Band at the Czech Center Museum of Houston May Fest, 4920 San Jacinto St., 1:00 to 3:30 p.m.

COUPLAND: Lance Lipinsky - Rockabilly Pianist Extraordinaire at Coupland Dancehall, 1 p.m., Josh Ward, Jake Worthington and Jake Bush at 7 p.m.

HALLETTSVILLE: The Czechaholics at Blase’s Hall near Hallettsville, 3 to 6:30 p.m.

SWEET HOME: Al Sulak and the Country Sounds at Sweet Home Hall, 3 to 7 p.m.

NEW BRAUNFELS: Das Its Lustig at Krause’s Cafe at 2 p.m. (Polka Crash Course and Dance Lesson from noon to 1 p.m.), Ryan Waguespak at 6 p.m.

WEST: Czech and Then Some at the Tipsy Lion Bar and Grill in West, 2 to 5 p.m.

HOUSTON: Detour at Houston VFW Post 10352 (16035 Waverly Drive), 2 to 5:30 p.m.

BRENHAM: Nathan’s BBQ in Brenham hosts Polka Time with Mason, Shane, Allison & Rick 3-6 p.m.

Mollie B will perform at Schroeder Hall on Sunday, May 23. Call the hall for tickets: (361) 573-7002.

AUSTIN: Terry Cavanagh and the Alpine Express at Scholz Garten (1607 San Jacinto Blvd.), 5:30 to 7:30 p.m.

NEW BRAUNFELS: Walt Harfmann Plus at Krause’s Cafe, 6 p.m.

ENNIS: Czech and Then Some at the KJT Bar in Ennis for the National Polka Festival Pre-Party, 7:30 to 11:30 p.m.

NEW BRAUNFELS: Alex Meixner at Krause’s Cafe at 7 p.m. Doors open at 4 p.m. with open seating. Meet and greet at 5 p.m. Opening act by Lederhosen Junkies at 5 p.m. Limited discount tickets available now at https://AlexmeixnerMay2021.Eventbrite.com.

DELHI: Nathan Colt Young Band at 5R Bar and Grill in Delhi, 8 p.m.

ENNIS: National Polka Festival in Ennis with music by the Texas Dutchmen at the Sokol Activity Center from 6 to 11 p.m.

ENNIS: Polka Time at Bella Italia Bar with music by David Slovak and Friends, 1 to 3 p.m. No Cover.

NEW BRAUNFELS: Alex Meixner at Krause’s Cafe at 7 p.m. Doors open at 4 p.m. with open seating. Meet and greet at 5 p.m. Opening act by Lederhosen Junkies at 5 p.m. Limited discount tickets available now at https://AlexmeixnerMay2021.Eventbrite.com.

SCHROEDER: Kolby Cooper with Tanner Usrey at Schroeder Hall near Goliad from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m.

CISTERN: Boogie Allen at Cistern Country Store, 8 p.m. to midnight.

SHINER: Bill Pekar and the Rainey Brothers at Spoetzl Brewery in Shiner, 1 p.m.

RED ROCK: Nathan Colt Young Band at Watterson Hall near Red Rock, 9 p.m.

COUPLAND: Mike and the Moonpies with Braxton Keith at Coupland Dancehall, 8:30 p.m.

ENNIS: National Polka Festival at the Ennis Sokol Activity Center with music by the Czechaholics from 11:30 a.m. to 3 p.m., Fritz Hodde and the Fabulous Six from 4 to 7 p.m., Jesse Jennings from 9:30 to 10:30 p.m. and John Wolfe from 11 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. Music at the KJT Hall by the Czech Harvesters from 11:30 a.m. to 3 pm., Dujka Brothers from 4 to 7:30 p.m., Squeezebox w/ Mollie B and Ted Lange from 8:30 p.m. to midnight. Music at the SPJST Hall by the Jodie Mikula Orchestra from 4 to 7 p.m., Ennis Czech Boys from 8:30 p.m. to midnight. Music downtown by Texas Sound Check from noon to 3:30 p.m.

WALBURG: Backroads Band at Dale’s Essenhaus in Walburg, 6 to 10 p.m.

DEANVILLE: Edward Kopecky Fun Time Czech Band at Bottleneck’s Bar and Grill, 8 p.m

SCHROEDER: Austin Meade at Schroeder Hall near Goliad from 8:30 p.m. to 2 a.m.

NEW BRAUNFELS: Alex Meixner at Krause’s Cafe at 7 p.m. Doors open at 4 p.m. with open seating. Meet and greet at 5 p.m. Opening act by Lederhosen Junkies at 5 p.m. Limited discount tickets available now at https://www.eventbrite.com/e/alex-meixner-polka-king-usa-at-krauses-biergarten-saturday-may-29-tickets-154461008033.

ENNIS: National Polka Festival in Ennis. Music at the KJT Hall by the Dujka Brothers from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m., the Moravians from 1:30 to 4:30 p.m. p.m., Music at the Sokol Activity Center by Czech and Then Some and Alex Meixner from 12:30 p.m. to 7:45 p.m., Brave Combo from 8:30 to 11:30 p.m.

SERBIN: St. Paul Lutheran Homecoming Picnic in Serbin (near Giddings) with music by Czech Melody Masters from 3 to 8 p.m..

TAITON: Blue Denim at Taiton Community Center at 2 p.m.

SWEET HOME: Heartland Texas Band at Sweet Home Hall, 3 to 7 p.m.

COUPLAND: Walt Wilkins and Friends at Coupland Dancehall, 1 p.m.

SHINER: Shiner Catholic Church Spring Picnic with music all day including performances by The Tuba Meisters from 11 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., Shiner Hobo Band from 2 to 4 p.m., Fritz Hodde and the Fabulous 6 from 4 to 7 p.m. Dance with the Emotions from 9 p.m. to midnight. Chris Rybak Band outside from 6:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m.

HALLETTSVILLE: Sacred Heart Church Picnic with music by the Red Ravens and Texas Sound Check from 1 to 7 p.m.

AUSTIN: Terry Cavanagh and the Alpine Express at Scholz Garten (1607 San Jacinto Blvd.), 5:30 to 7:30 p.m.

NEW BRAUNFELS: Mollie B makeup concert at Krause’s Cafe. Message from Krause’s Cafe: “For all ticket holders of the May 19th Mollie B/Squeezebox with Ted Lange Concert, we unfortunately have to reschedule due to inclement weather. You will be getting an email from us with options to move your ticket to Thursday night or the new June 2 Make Up Concert date. If you don’t hear from us about your tickets please email marketing@krausescafe.com for a faster response.”

BASTROP: The Farm Street Opry (1408 Chestnut St.) with music by Greg Scarborogh and Bobby Flores. Admission $7.50, doors open at 5:30 p.m., show starts at 7 p.m.

AMANA, IA: Beckster Fest at the Amana Colonies RV Park and Convention Center in Amana, Iowa. Music from 4 to 10 p.m. by Barefoot Becky and the Ivanhoe Dutchmen and Mark Vyhlidal Orchestra. Single Day $15, 3-day Pass $40.

TOMBALL: Tomball German Fest in Old Town Tomball near the Historic Train Depot Plaza. Music from 6 to 10 p.m., lineup online at https://www.tomballgermanfest.org/event.html.

SCHROEDER: Sip ‘N Shop at Schroeder Hall near Goliad with Travis McQueen from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m.

AMANA, IA: Beckster Fest at the Amana Colonies RV Park and Convention Center in Amana, Iowa. Music from noon to 10 p.m. by Mark Vyhlidal Orchestra, Carol and the Keynotes and Gary’s Ridgeland Dutchmen. Single Day $15, 3-day Pass $40.

TOMBALL: Tomball German Fest in Old Town Tomball near the Historic Train Depot Plaza. Music from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m., lineup online at https://www.tomballgermanfest.org/event.html.

CISTERN: Midnight Wranglers at Cistern Country Store, 8 p.m. to midnight.

SEALY: Sealy Lions Dance Club feat. Al Supak and Country Sounds at Sealy American Legion Hall, 7:30 to 11 p.m.

COUPLAND: Weldon Henson at Coupland Dancehall, 8:30 p.m.

NEW BRAUNFELS: Pivo and Polka Band at the New Braunfels Farmer’s Market (186 S. Castell), 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.

SCHROEDER: Bri Bagwell at Schroeder Hall near Goliad from 7:30 p.m. to 2 a.m.

HOUSTON: Heartland Texas Band at Westwind Club and Dance Hall (5905 Guhn Rd.), 8 p.m. to midnight.

BUCKHOLTS: 33rd Annual Buckholts Cotton Festival with music all day by the Praha Brothers, MAD Band and Justin Cole.

WEST: West Street Dance on Main Street in West feat. music by Fritz Hodde and the Fabulous Six at 6 p.m., Brazos Brothers at 8 p.m. followed by Jason Eady with his full band.

FREDERICKSBURG: Der Klein Steins at Altstadt Brewery in Fredericksburg, noon to 3 p.m.

AMANA, IA: Beckster Fest at the Amana Colonies RV Park and Convention Center in Amana, Iowa. Polka Mass at 10:30 a.m. Music from noon to 6 p.m. by Gary’s Ridgeland Dutchmen and Malek’s Fishermen. Single Day $15, 3-day Pass $40.

TOMBALL: Tomball German Fest in Old Town Tomball near the Historic Train Depot Plaza. Music from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., lineup online at https://www.tomballgermanfest.org/event.html.

SEALY: Battle Dance feat. Mark Halata and Texavia and the Dujka Brothers, Sealy American Legion Hall, sponsored by Texas Heritage Music & Dance Club, bands alternating 1:30 to 6:30 p.m.

SEATON: Edward Kopecky Fun Time Czech Band and Tom Sefcik Hall in Seaton, 6 to 9 p.m.

HOUSTON: Hit-N-Run at Houston VFW Post 10352 (16035 Waverly Drive), 2 to 5:30 p.m.

VICTORIA: Bill Pekar and the Rainey Brothers at Greek’s 205 in Victoria at 6:30 p.m.

AUSTIN: Terry Cavanagh and the Alpine Express at Scholz Garten (1607 San Jacinto Blvd.), 5:30 to 7:30 p.m.

BURTON: Ladies of Country Music Summer Show at the Burton American Legion feat. music. by Allison Crowson and Tribute Band, Leather and Lace, Liz Talley and Vicki Wehmeyer. Tickets $25, call or text (979) 277-5768.

CISTERN: Sean Orr at Cistern Country Store, 8 p.m. to midnight.

WALLIS: Happy Cousins Dance Club feat. Mike Gest, Night Session at the Wallis American Legion Hall, 8 to 11:30 p.m. Call (281) 232-3531 for more information.

EAST BERNARD: Kolache-Klobase Festival in East Bernard with music by Ennis Czech Boys, Czech and Then Some, Dujka Brothers, the Red Ravens, Al Sulak’s Country Sounds and Blue Denim. Music all day from 10:30 a.m. to 8 p.m.

COUPLAND: James Lann at Coupland Dancehall, 8:30 p.m.

SWEET HOME: Nathan Colt Young Band at Sweet Home Hall, 3 p.m.

SCHULENBURG: Czechaholics at the St. Rose of Lima Parish Picnic, 4 p.m.

HALLETTSVILLE: St. Mary’s Church Picnic (1648 FM 340, Hallettsville, TX) with music by Texas Sound Czech from 10:30 a.m. to 2 p.m., J & S Playboys from 2 to 5:30 p.m. and the Red Ravens from 5:30 to 9 p.m. Famous St. Mary’s Stew and Sausage Plates with trimmings and dessert, $10, dine in or to go starting at 10:30 a.m.

COUPLAND: Lance Lipinsky - Rockabilly Pianist Extraordinaire w/ A Side of Steel at Coupland Dancehall, 7 p.m.

HOUSTON: Texas Hold’Em at Houston VFW Post 10352 (16035 Waverly Drive), 2 to 5:30 p.m.

GONZALES: Blue Denim at Gonzales Elks Lodge #2413, 3 to 6:30 p.m.

We would like to introduce everyone to our new advertising director, Kim Macik Jobb. Kim is a regular at polka dances, so many of you already know her. Reach her via email at kim@texaspolkanews.com.

Don't miss out on your favorite polka music. Tune in to the following radio shows:

KMIL 105.1 FM in Cameron - Alfred Vrazel's Polka Show on Sundays noon to 2:30 p.m.

KHBR 1560 AM in Hillsboro – The American Czech Hour with David Kolar, Sundays 1:30 to 3 p.m.

KRXT 98.5 FM in Rockdale – Michael Craig's Polka Show, Mon.-Fri. 11 a.m. to noon, Sunday from 1:15 to 6 p.m.

KBEC 1390 AM in Ennis – Polka Party with Danny Zapletal, Sundays 10 a.m. to noon

KULP 1390 in El Campo – Dance Time with John Dujka, 10 a.m. to noon.

KULM 98.3 FM in Columbus – Polka Party Time Show with Ricky Canik, Monday-Friday 5:15-7 p.m. and Saturday’s 7-9 a.m.

Polka Jammer Network - Polka music from your computer 24 hours a day, polkajammernetwork.org.

Polka Music 24/7 - Your favorite music and shows online at 247polkaheaven.com.

Advertising: Kim Macik Jobb  kim@texaspolkanews.com

Andy Behlen andy@texaspolkanews.com and

Gary E. McKee fayetteishome@gmail.com.

Subscription management: Mark Hermes info@czechtexas.org

Visit texaspolkanews.com to see latest issue.

The Czechaholics performing at the National Polka Festival in Ennis in 2019.

A man staggers into the emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, and a five iron wrapped around his neck.

Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well, it was like this" said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both hooked our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed that one of the cows had something white in it's rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. Thats when I made my mistake."

"What did you do?", asked the doctor. "Well, I lifted the tail, pointed, and yelled to my wife, "Hey! This looks like yours!"