Lauren S. is the mother of current Phase 3 resident of the Women’s Program, Madeline S.

“We’re from the Philadelphia area. We live in a suburb about a half hour away. That’s where Maddie has grown up her entire life. She’s our only child, so she has definitely had us all to herself.” Growing up, Lauren describes her daughter as “very bright, funny and personable.”

Lauren remembers Maddie’s childhood as being “pretty typical” but noticed a change during her teenage years. “I knew something was wrong but I could not figure out what. It was my motherly instinct – every bone in my body was saying [Maddie] was not right. She was lying all the time. She wasn’t keeping her commitments. She looked ‘out of it’.”

These signs began to show up right before Maddie went to college. “The summer before she went to college, we asked if she wanted to take a gap year but she wouldn’t even think of that. At the time, I didn’t think it was a substance abuse issue, I just thought she wasn’t ready for school. When she went off to school, she was partying like nobody’s business. I didn’t really know how bad it was.” Before finals at the end of Maddie’s freshman year, she got the flu and went home. “We got lucky,” recalls Lauren. “When I took her home, that’s when she said ‘I think I have a problem’. I was totally shocked because she said she had missed a ton of classes but wasn’t failing anything. She had an academic coach she met with weekly and even she was stunned. We were all definitely taken aback but I felt relieved at the same time.”

Lauren admittedly had no experience with substance abuse or mental illness. “It was the first rodeo in our family- we hadn’t experience this kind of thing. I had not been down that path before. I would say this process was at first very terrifying.” Lauren remembers, “After she told us everything, she'd asked ‘Are you ashamed of me?’ and I said ‘No, I’m grateful that you’re here and you’re alive. You get a second chance.’  That’s when she went to her first [thirty-day program].”

After the thirty-day program, Lauren struggled to find an aftercare program that was suitable for Maddie and her age. They settled on a program in California. “It was fine until it wasn’t fine anymore,” said Lauren. “She signed herself out of the program there and we brought her home. We didn’t realize she needed to immediately go back to treatment. She was back home for two months and had very quickly relapsed. We did not know. We just didn’t understand.”

Of Maddie’s relapse, Lauren said “It was a very scary time for me. I knew she needed another program but I was skeptical because of the lack of recommendations.” Lauren remembered how difficult it was to find a suitable program after Maddie’s initial thirty-day program and wasn’t sure where to turn. Upon recommendation from a therapist, Lauren showed Maddie Turnbridge. Lauren left it up to Maddie to research the program and make a decision. Ultimately, she decided to go. “Within a week of being at Turnbridge, she was pissed,” said Lauren. “She didn’t want to stay long term.” Maddie’s initial resistance worried Lauren, as Maddie had signed herself out of treatment in the past. “I understand kids will [leave treatment] but I also understand that Turnbridge pulls out all the stops.”

Lauren took advantage of the supports put in place for her when Maddie would ask to leave. “The challenge was knowing what to say to her. She wasn’t one of those kids who would harass us on the phone, but instead shed make comments during our visits. It freaked me out because she had left treatment once before. It terrified me because I didn’t know how to take her words.” In these cases, Lauren made sure to reach out for help. “After [the visits] I would immediately call Lauren Springer or [case manager] Cori Wilkes.”

“One night in particular, Maddie did want to leave and Turnbridge [staff] talked her off a ledge and that was it. That was the difference I saw with Turnbridge. There’s an army of people to help at all times and in that situation, they did exactly what they were supposed to do.”

Throughout Maddie’s journey, Lauren made sure to educate herself as much as possible and to utilize the resources made available to her. “I think so much of what Turnbridge offers. Diana Clark and the [Family Healing Workshop] are fantastic. The weekly phone calls with case managers, the fact that I could call Lauren Springer whenever I needed; so helpful. I was just amazed at the accessibility of everybody and they all know your kid. After each monthly care team meeting, I would take notes and type them up and put it in a binder. It’s a huge help to read now if I’m having a moment or need to calm down. I have nine months of information about my own kid and recovery.”

In addition to the learning experience, Lauren is grateful for the support she has from Maddie’s care team. “I don’t have to have those tough conversations with her because [staff] can do that. And rightfully so- the biggest thing I have learned is to keep my mouth shut, meaning, I don’t have to give her my opinion and direction all the time. I’ve learned to give her the freedom to figure it out and she has the staff at Turnbridge steering her in the right direction. It takes a lot of pressure off of me so I can also work on myself.” Since coming to Turnbridge, Lauren notices huge differences in Maddie. “I see a huge change in her. She cares about people now, and isn’t just thinking of herself. She is soon to be 20 years old and when she got to Turnbridge she seemed like more of a 16-year-old. You could see where [substance abuse] had stunted her emotional maturity. Now, I feel like I’ve got my kid back.”

Currently, Maddie is a resident at Phase 3. She just got a car, is in school taking classes and works part time. “She’s working with Logan Keith on school stuff now. She wants to go back full time in the fall. Southern [Connecticut State University] has been a great stepping stone for her. Eventually she'll be ready to transfer to another school and now she has time to figure it out.”

Bernie M. is a current Phase 3 resident of the Men’s Program.

Eighteen years old and from Atlanta, Georgia, Bernie recalls his lifestyle before coming to Turnbridge. “It all started out for me smoking weed and stuff and getting caught by my parents. (The drug use) just wouldn’t stop and I started getting into pills. I got addicted to Xanax but I also had other mental health problems. I went to the psych ward last May and then went to a wilderness program. That program recommended Turnbridge so now I’m here.”

Of his substance use Bernie said, “I had moments where I thought ‘Damn, this isn’t normal, I shouldn’t be doing (stuff) like this, none of my friends get high like this’ but I never wanted to stop. I didn’t want to get help. I wasn’t willing to because I just didn’t care about anything so I had no reason to stop.”

His substance use was taking a noticeable toll on his relationship with his family. “I was always having fights with my parents. I just hated being at the house.”

Bernie’s first introduction to treatment was a wilderness program. “My parents just told me to get in the car to go. I had every intention to go there, come back and do the same [stuff] I’d been doing.” His perspective began to change during the program. “I guess I changed my mind halfway through. Then, I thought, ‘Ok I’m going to stop doing pills and when I get home. I’m just going to smoke weed.’ That thought changed essentially after I got to Turnbridge because I realized that wasn’t (realistic)”.

The drastic change in amenities from the wilderness program helped to ease Bernie into the program. “Honestly, getting (to Phase 1) wasn’t that bad because I just got out of wilderness. I had been sleeping in a tent and eating rice every day so I was pretty happy to sleep in a bed and watch TV. At first I was pretty happy about being [at Turnbridge] just because I had all these comforts of life that I didn’t have in wilderness.”

After the allure of the creature comforts wore off, Bernie was reluctant to be in treatment. “After a while, I didn’t want to be there anymore.”

Bernie’s connection with a sober network and 12 step program helped him to change his perspective and gave him the willingness to work on himself. “I finally recognized I had a problem when I realized that when I don’t have something in me, I don’t feel okay. If I don’t get high, I don’t feel okay. When I don’t have drugs to distract me, I don’t feel okay and I’m miserable. The reality was I couldn’t get high (at Turnbridge) so if I did not do something about it and work a program I would continue to feel miserable. That was my reason to give the steps a try and give AA a shot. It really paid off. I found out that a 12 step program can honestly replace drugs for me and give me a sense of inner peace. It works for me the same way drugs did but better and it doesn’t get me in trouble. It doesn’t ruin my life.”

One of Bernie’s biggest struggles so far has been “opening up to people about my problems. I still kind of struggle with that but it was hard especially at first. It was hard for me to admit if I wanted to get high because I didn’t want people to think I was doing worse. Eventually I realized it is good to be honest because it shows I’m getting better and making an effort. That was a big thing I came around to. I learned that even people in sobriety still have cravings, they still have (bad) days and it’s okay to talk to people about that. It’s a part of the process. If I keep that stuff in, things will get worse.”

Bernie is grateful for the staff that have helped him along the way. “I haven’t had a bad case manager. I had Chris Nagle in Phase 1- that dude’s the man. Raf (Mercado) was really good in Phase 2 and helped me get a job and stuff. I really had a sense of getting my life on track and started to do things. Sean Howard in Phase 3 has been amazing. He’s a really helpful dude and he cares about the kids he works with. There’s been a lot of really good staff here and dudes that really care.”

Reflecting on his growth during the program, Bernie said, “I’m a lot more active now. It’s come to the point where if I don’t get up and do stuff, I’ll feel bad. A lot of things haven’t changed though that I kind of thought would. When I first got sober, I thought I wasn’t going to be able to listen to the same music or watch the same movies – like they wouldn’t be as good if I wasn’t high. I found out I can still enjoy the same things on the same level and I don’t have to get high for it.”

One activity in particular that Bernie is passionate about is rock climbing. “I started climbing around the same time that I started getting high. Now, I’m finishing up high school online and work at a climbing gym.” He plans to continue pursuing climbing after Turnbridge. “Eventually I’d like to move to Chattanooga, Tennessee. It’s the big climbing city in the southeast. I want to work in the climbing industry and be a guide or something. I’m just happy that now I got sober and I can do more of the things I love doing.”