Inside the Wendt Center

Inside this issue:

Meet our new Director of Development and Communications
Learn about supporting survivors of domestic violence
Hear a story from a Wendt Center client
Reflect on the value of empathy for healing

Dear friend,

Welcome to another look inside the Wendt Center for Loss and Healing.

My name is Carolyn Stanek Lucy and I'm delighted to join the Wendt Center as the new Director of Development and Communications. Please think of me as your personal contact here, someone with whom you can share stories and ask questions about the impact of our work. Your stories (and questions) inspire our resolve to help others, and I’m a good listener, so please share!

Supporters like you are at the core of the Wendt Center’s mission. Your donations enable us to extend our reach throughout the greater Washington area and ensure that everyone, in every neighborhood, has access to effective grief, loss, and trauma services. Our work is crucial to individuals, families, and whole communities who are healing from the worst moments of their lives. Through our partnership with you, we are making a difference in the lives of those we serve.

Thank you for your trust in the Wendt Center. Simply put, our vital work would not happen without your support. Thank you for helping us build a world where everyone has the resources they need to heal.

I hope you enjoy the content below. Let me know what you think!

Gratefully,

Carolyn Stanek Lucy

Director of Development and Communications

cstaneklucy@wendtcenter.org

(202) 204-5010

Elizabeth Johnson, LGPC, shares the top 5 things to know when supporting survivors of domestic violence in your life .

Client Story Corner

"The Exactor"

From the Therapy Offices of the Wendt Center

I love the Exactor!

That’s something I never thought I’d say. The Exactor—that scolding voice, perched on my shoulder, to remind me how terrible, incompetent, silly I am. The voice that aligned with my soon-to-be ex-husband against me time after time.

I came to the Wendt Center because I knew I needed to find my strength in order to end a three-year marriage characterized by manipulation and abuse. I came to the Wendt Center, in the midst of court proceedings, major financial decisions, and grieving the life I’d hoped for, because I felt broken.

All the while, the Exactor was there in the back of my mind, undermining, judging. Until…

I don’t know how it happened—but, somehow, as I sat on a plush couch, surrounded by pillows, flowers, and colorful stenciled butterflies at the Wendt Center, my therapist noticed the intrusive voice of the Exactor. She noticed how that voice seemed ready to tear me down. And she observed how the Exactor’s keen awareness and intelligence could serve functions other than criticism.

Together we explored how the Exactor’s voice is just a facet of my inner voice—and how such a strong voice can be an asset. Now, as I continue to confront the challenges of restoring my confidence after a traumatizing relationship, as I build a new life for myself, I recognize ways the Exactor can be an ally.

Thanks to the hard work I’ve done at the Wendt Center with my insightful therapist, the Exactor has a new job. Its voice now mentors me. It tells me I am strong and capable. It helps me see more clearly when making financial decisions, organizing complicated records, and undergoing court proceedings.

No longer does the Exactor hover over me. Now we walk hand-in-hand.

I left my session at the Wendt Center last week, with my head held high, more self-possessed than I can ever remember. There are many challenges ahead, but with the insights I’ve gained through the work I’ve done with my therapist at the Wendt Center, and, the Exactor now on my side, I believe I will be okay.

Thoughts from a Therapist

Sitting with Pain

by Katherine Hatch, LICSW

In our society, we don’t always know how to simply be. We are much better at doing. The ability to be with pain instead of trying to fix it or dismiss it is one of the most healing ways to support someone who is grieving. During my years in home-based hospice work, sitting with the families of people who have just died, to counseling people through their immense grief at the Wendt Center, I have learned there is no fancy therapeutic technique more powerful than offering a moment of shared disbelief, grief, or loss for words.

Let’s just say it—being present with someone who is suffering is often scary. Watching someone else in emotional agony reminds us of our own vulnerability and fragility. Even if just for a moment, confronting the pain of others requires us to confront both the pain in our past and our anxieties about the future. This inclination, to connect the interaction to our own pain, is natural.

In fact, we have a word for it at the Wendt Center: Empathy .

Click here to read the rest of the article.

Thank you for reading. Your support makes our work possible. Help us empower people to heal from the worst moments of their lives by donating today.