Dear AuSM Therapist,
The holidays are approaching quickly, and this is causing my partner extreme distress. He dreads this time of time year and this leads to several shutdowns. What are some things that we could do to prepare for the season and make it more enjoyable?
Sincerely,
Hopeful for the Holidays
Dear Hopeful for the Holidays:
We are approaching a busy season filled with sensory inputs, and that can be overwhelming. Many people face loud noises, high expectations, and frustrations during this season. It can be helpful to do some preparation before the holidays start. Having a calendar may help your partner track the number of days left before an event occurs, allowing adequate time for preparation. It is important to note that this can be individualized to better accommodate your partner’s needs.
Another great way to prepare is to use social narratives. Social narratives are individualized short stories that illustrate social situations we may encounter. These stories use precise and sequential information about events we find difficult or confusing. This helps clear up some of the anxiety that comes with big events.
If your partner has challenges with change, the holidays can be a disrupting time. During the holiday season there are a multitude of shifts in smell, sight, and sound around the community. Even our homes change drastically during this time. It is important to keep your home a safe spot, so it is a good idea to come up with a plan regarding decorations. One option is to gradually increase your decor, instead of putting it all up at once. The same goes with taking it down slowly, as it gives the person a chance to process the changes that are present. However, it is important to note that we are all different and that your partner might be okay with a quicker pace.
Additionally, it can be helpful to make a list of seasonal objects that have a strong aroma or other intense sensory input. By going through them with your partner, you two can decide what can be handled and what should be avoided at home.
The holidays often bring various seasonal meals. For someone who is sensitive to certain types of food, this can be a nightmare. However, it does not need to be. Creating a special diet or alternative meal for your partner could be beneficial. It is important to remind friends and family so they are aware and can be accommodating. In the case where the menu cannot be controlled, consider eating a small meal beforehand or bringing a snack along with you.
When it comes to the day of the event, try to have strategies ready to decrease the anxiety and stress. One option is to have a room or area that your partner can resort to when they feel overwhelmed, allowing them to regain energy and process the events around them. It can also be a good idea to have fidgets or other activities available. Furthermore, it is also important for both you and your partner to be able to identify signs of anxiety. This may help you to come to aid, if necessary. Remember that it is okay to leave early if you need to!
Happy holidays!
Björn Walter, MA
