Author of How to Raise an Adult and, most recently, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims discusses her work and the pivotal experiences of her development in an interview with NPR. She explains her view of “over-parenting” and the main arguments of her latest book in this presentation to parents and high school administrators.
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II. Blog Articles and Podcast Recordings |
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IV. Virtual Seminars on June 5, 2021* |
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The Men's Group Seminar: Do Men and Women Speak Different Languages?
It is commonly assumed that men and women communicate differently. Across numerous components of communication, including nonverbal cues, decision-making dynamics, and interpersonal orientation (i.e., men relate to solve tasks while women engage to collaborate), gender differences have been noted. Scholars suggest that these gender differences in communication (frequently called “gendered communication”) are the result of distinct socializations boys and girls experience throughout development. Though gender roles are indeed changing and consistently being deconstructed, with “gender itself” now an amorphous and “fluid” concept, experts argue that how men and women communicate remains distinctive. The linguist Deborah Tannen, a leading scholar on male/female differences in communication, claims that these differences should be considered “cross-cultural.” Characterizing boys as oriented around hierarchy and girls around solidarity, Tannen identifies different norms and expectations in communication and, by extension, discrepant forms of connection and intimacy among men and women. To be sure, Tannen’s cross-cultural perspective has been criticized. The unicultural perspective posits that “standards of communication skill” are shared across genders. In the next virtual meeting of the Men's Group Seminar on Saturday, June 5, 2021 (10:15 to 11:30 AM), we will explore the notion of gendered communication and consider how, and to what extent, men and women speak different languages.
To register for this upcoming virtual seminar, please see the directions below.
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The Relationship Group Seminar: Loving Too Much
Like any other element of the human condition, love too may be characterized as a double-edged sword: profoundly joyous and fulfilling, yet also dangerous, risky, replete with negative potential. Indeed, the bittersweet nature of love has been the subject of ancient thinkers, philosophers, scientists, and even contemporary films – perhaps, most notably, Vanilla Sky. The attainment of love is arguably just as painful as unrequited love. “There are two tragedies in life,” Oscar Wilde wrote, “not getting what you want, and getting it.” Psychologically, “profound love may be harmful,” possibly concealing pathological, even abusive, dynamics, and setting a course of self-destruction. Many of us are all too familiar with loving for the wrong reasons or loving that person who is just not good for us. Sometimes, we can love too much. Despite whatever negative consequences emerge, we continue to love even when we know we should not. Losing oneself to a relationship is an early warning signal of trouble frequently denied. Addictive love and love avoidance are ever increasing phenomena; at the center of these conditions is difficulty with managing the intensity of love or achieving a balance between interpersonal connection and personal needs/boundaries. Many experts have argued that women are especially susceptible to loving too much, i.e., often selecting partners whose capacity to be intimate is limited, thereby ending up in toxic relationships. Various rationales have been offered to explain this pattern, including the view that some women seek to obtain the love they never received as children from their own parents; as they go down this path in their romantic lives, they end up re-enacting similar disappointments. In the next virtual meeting of the Relationship Group Seminar on Saturday, June 5, 2021 (11:45 AM to 1:00 PM), we will discuss the tendency to love too much and the process of breaking free of it.
To register for this upcoming virtual seminar, please see the directions below.
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The Dynamic Psychotherapy Process Group
This therapy group utilizes the emerging dynamics among group members, and between the group members and facilitator, as a basis from which to examine one's characteristic ways of thinking, feeling, and relating to others. Our next virtual group session will be held on Saturday, June 5, 2021 (1:15 to 2:30 PM). The Dynamic Psychotherapy Process Group is a therapeutic experience and entry occurs only after a pre-group screening interview.
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* Registration Directions: If you would like to attend the virtual meeting of the Men's Group Seminar and/or the Relationship Group Seminar on June 5, 2021, please RSVP to me at 949-338-4388 or jt@jamestobinphd.com on or before Thursday, June 3, 2021. The fee is $25.00 (payable before entering the virtual meeting) and informed consent for participation in this telehealth event must be completed prior to the seminars. Please note that the Men's Group Seminar and the Relationship Group Seminar are psychoeducational in nature, not therapeutic, and do not constitute psychotherapy or counseling.
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