Once upon a time, long ago in a land far from here but not so far from you, a lost 9th grade girl, who struggled to find her place among her peers & battled the undiagnosed learning disabilities that made school hard, found hope in her History class where she began to dream of a land of Czars, castles & palaces. Places behind Iron Curtains and high walls.
"A dream is implanted in your spirit by the Spirit of God, and the rest of your life is the ripple effect. It changes the plot line of your life forever." Mark Batterson Chase the Lion
One of her favorite escapes was going to work with her Dad. There she was useful (helping the tellers) and at the beginning of every new year the bank got calendars from many places but the best was the mini flip calendars from American Express. Every month had a picture from somewhere in the world. This escape artist teen cut out & saved all the photos of the places she longed to see.
Though school was not easy, High School proved to be the best & worst of times. Sophomore year was not only a struggle academically but her best friend & confident, her Swedish Grandfather died suddenly. Leaving her alone (at least that's how she felt) to make sure Grandma was cared for & navigate life without his support. It was at this time that this lost teen saw a sign for Young Life meetings. She knew it was too far from her home to go but she determined in her heart that when she could drive she would go.
The summer before her Junior year she got her driver's license just in time to host her Grandmother's siblings who came to comfort her in her grief. This new driver became the chauffer for the 5 Swedish speaking family members. Oh, how she loved being with them, learning about their culture and serving them. Despite the fact that she didn't understand a word they said, and sometimes Grandma's driving directions, but there was no misunderstanding their love, acceptance, that were of great comfort to her.
True to her decision, this unnoticed young woman drove to YL faithfully every week, there she found a place in her world where she was seen. The leaders modeled what an authentic relationship with Jesus looked like: hope, love, acceptance, The Word of God, Power of the Holy Spirit. She wanted it all! Though the commitment was real, decisive there were no fireworks. Yet the transformation was visibly evident immediately...The leader within her was released from prison and everyone saw it.
This decision changed everything as her life was no longer her own. Her dream of being a forest ranger so that she could avoid the pain of being near people was scrapped for uncertainty but a confident trust in the One who knew her best.
"There are genesis moments in every dream journey that radically change the plot line of our lives. It is impossible to predict when or where or how they will occur. But once the door to the future opens, the door to the past slams shut. There is no turning back." Mark Batterson Chase the Lion
Graduation brought excitement & humility. Trading the dream of escaping to WSU for commuting to Shoreline community with Dad. But it opened the door to serving as a Junior High YL leader. She soon embraced the many blessings & leadership development opportunities that presented themselves.
The profound awareness in the depth of my soul, that I Am a daughter of the King of Kings & Lord of Lords and He sees me!The heart for distant lands was always within her. Even a childhood neighbor "prophesied" that she was a missionary, though she had no idea what that was or meant.
Many lessons of faith, faithfulness, service, the ways of the King, who I am and the authority I have in Christ. But let's jump ahead a bit. Upon graduation with my Masters in 1985, I had a full-time employment with the Bellevue SD, my student loans were paid off and my graduation gift to myself was a European tour, Eurail pass, Rick Steves backpack the works. It started in London, then 3 weeks with the family followed by the 12 hour train to Malmö Sweden. It was there that I experience "homesickness" for the 1st time. But what surprised me was that I longed to return to my family in Sweden. The practical, frugal me together with the childhood dream battled this desire to return to the family. Then that still small voice I have come to depend on said, "Trust me. I will fulfill your desires & so much more. Trust me." To this day I have never regretted returning. It was not practical. There was a risk that I may never return to Europe. But what I got was relationship with family that I enjoy to today. I learned how they live not just how they entertain guests. I picked berries, stacked hay, went to country dances (I don't dance), baked Swedish sweets. I became apart of their lives & they mine.
I began to learn what it is to live among the people as a missionary...one who is sent...to "BE" the incarnate representation of Jesus.
Some reflections: The story of my life that I desired to write was one of isolation & self protection, merely "dreaming" of something greater. But as I have chosen to make definitive decisions toward God and follow through on those decisions regardless of the challenges, hardships, apparent risk, lack of fulfillment He is Faithful. To fulfill my deepest desires, accomplish His promises, lead & guide me in quite confidence in times of uncertainty.
As I close part 1 of this story I encourage you to think about your story line. Are you open to Jesus changing the plot line of your life? Even if it means closing a door to a long time dream...and wait for Him to fulfill it in His way.
Blessings,
Denise
