Are You Depressed or Bored?
*Inspired by NY Times article by Nicholas Kristof 8/23/20
I recently read in the New York Times about an experiment in which researchers asked a group of people to spend just 15 minutes in a room and instructed them to entertain themselves with their own thoughts. They were also given the opportunity to self-administer a negative stimulus in the form of a small electric shock. Strikingly, 67% of men and 25% of women found being alone with their own thoughts so unpleasant that they chose negative stimulation over no stimulation.
Wow! Ten years ago, I too would have used negative stimulation. Instead, I have engaged, (not as regularly as I would like) in mindfulness meditation. Just a few months ago, I learned that when I was waiting for a doctor, in a long line at the post office, or at the check-out in a supermarket, I could take deep breaths and relax. I actually enjoyed having these minutes to be calm, clear my thoughts and reduce stress. I confronted annoyance with a smile!
What do you do when you have 15 minutes with no technology? Can you sit still and find a place of balance, or, like the people in the experiment, would negative stimulation be better than enjoying time with yourself?
These are provocative questions, especially during the continued mandatory Covid-19 isolation. It often feels like we are in the 1993 movie “Groundhog Day.” Every day is just a repetition of yesterday. Yes, a repetition until Bill Murray, the main character, learned that he could get out of the loop if he could change his attitude and behavior. He started to help others instead of denigrating them, he read poetry and took piano lessons. At first it was just to impress a woman who rebuffed him, but eventually it was to become his better self.
We, too, can use this time to become our better selves. Nicholas Kristof, in his Sunday column for the New York Times, wrote on this subject. He reflected on the experiment mentioned above: “This experiment suggests that self-reflection can be intrinsically aversive and that we have a near hysterical dread of boredom.”
Are we depressed or are we bored? If you truly are “depressed” PLEASE get help, NOW.
Kristoff noted that clinical depression is “characterized by the inability to experience peace, insomnia, and loss of self-esteem or suicidal behavior, among other symptoms. In boredom, the capacity for pleasure is totally intact, but it is thwarted by an internal or external obstacle, like being quarantined. Boredom does not have symptoms of depression.”
Historically, Kristoff stated, boredom is a modern invention and is a word that only entered our modern lexicon in the mid-19th century. Before that, “tedium was an expected part of life. It was only with the rise of consumer culture in the 20th century that people were promised nearly continuous excitement; boredom was the inevitable consequences of such unrealistic expectations.”
Depression calls for treatment while boredom is a normal state. Some studies speculate that the spread of COVID might be a result of intolerance of boredom, as people who cannot stand staying at home any longer, head to bars, beaches, backyard parties and other super-spreader amusements.
My friends, we are in the month of Elul; in Jewish time it is the opportunity before Rosh Hashanah to rethink and evaluate who we are and whether we are spending our lives in a way that is rewarding and meaningful to us. What things might we change to make life, and ourselves, more interesting?
During Elul, we listen to the call of the shofar every morning, knowing it is urging us to “wake up!” Stop accepting the status quo. Be curious about your life and its possibilities for renewal and growth.
We also recite Psalm 27 daily, where we wonder, if we have only one question to ask God, what would it be? Would it be: When will this virus end? What will the new normal look like? Will we stress and fret about our unknown future? Will we acknowledge that we are bored with the present restrictions and want to get back to life as it was? Do these questions help us?
One rabbi suggested that these are the wrong questions. “No,” she said, “If I could ask God something, not for something, the one thing I would ask is: “How can I help?”
Try this for one day and your boredom will fly away! We are told in our tradition to offer 100 blessings every day!
Like Bill Murray in the movie, only an attitude of gratitude will help fight boredom. Instead, we will find purpose, curiosity and joy every day.
AMEN
With blessings for safety and health,
Rabbi Toba August
