Did You Know Feelings Only Last 90 Seconds?
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Northminster, did you know that feelings are evolutionarily hard-wired to last only 90 seconds? It’s true. That’s the lifespan of a feeling. The first time a friend told me this, I laughed. “That
cannot
be true,” I said. “If feelings only last 90 seconds, then why do I so often feel angry or afraid of the same things?”
“Because, Zachary,” my friend told me patiently, “you’re not feeling your feelings. You’re thinking them. A feeling lives for about 90 seconds, it’s true, but when you turn that feeling into a story in your head… then it can haunt you for much, much longer.”
Before we had conscious minds, our bodies had ways of knowing things completely on their own. We had feelings – fear, joy, sadness, anger – to alert us that there was something that needed our attention. But then, when we developed conscious, story-making minds, we also developed the ability to choose to hold on to the feelings rather than letting them go. We gained the ability to start judging them or resenting them or judging ourselves or casting blame on others… When that happens, feelings can no longer do their job of delivering a message and helping us along in doing our work. When that happens, we stop experiencing feelings as indicators that something was wrong and started seeing the feelings as, themselves, what was wrong.
Like a child, I had to re-learn this relation to feelings that I had un-learned. I had to re-learn how to become present to my body, to feel the location and boundaries of a feeling, to feel its weight, it’s texture, it’s color, and
allow
them to be in my body without deflecting. When we can do that, when we can learn to
honor
our feelings – happy, sad, mad, scared - then they begin to transform. After 90 seconds of curiosity and allowing (dare we even risk gratitude?), they know they’ve done their job, and just as they rose like a wave, they’ll fall like a wave, leaving only compassion and new awareness. After 90 seconds, these feelings are no longer our masters, but our conversation partners, and we can start in on the work of figuring out what’s
actually
wrong.
As the great saint Mr. Rogers said,
“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we [acknowledge] our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.”
That’s where a lot of us need to begin.
As always, please let me know if you'd like to chat over the phone this week.
Peace,
Zach
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The Prayers of the People
An opportunity to celebrate and pray alongside siblings in our community.
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We pray alongside...
Darrell Cluck and
Pat Cohn as the grieve the loss of Darrell's mother last weekend.
Peggy Swazee, who is recovering from COVID at home. Her husband,
Frank, is in the hospital with pneumonia.
All of our community members, whether teachers or students, who will be returning to school in the coming weeks.
We celebrate alongside...
Lilah Kate Higginbotham
(31st),
Grayson Medders
(5th),
Kate Medders
(5th), and
Julia Wilhite
(6th) as they celebrate their birthday.
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A Note of Gratitude from Craig Henry:
Dear Northminster Family,
Thank all of you so much for your cards, notes, phone calls, emails and texts expressing your condolences over the death of my dear sister. Your kind words, prayers and thoughts have meant so much to me. I am fortunate to have such a loving and supportive church family.
Grace and peace,
Craig Henry
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If you have concerns or celebrations you would like us to add to the newsletter, please call the church office or email
office@northmin.org.
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The Work of the People
How we are responding to the Spirit of Love
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Which Sunday School class would you like to see offered?
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We'd like to create a space for a new online Sunday School class, but we only want to create it if you're interested!
Please read the options and cast your vote at:
Option 1: Being Happy
In this season, many of us are struggling with our sense of wellbeing. This course takes an evolutionary and spiritual approach to looking at what it actually takes to uncover joy.
Option 2: Harry Potter and the Sacred Text
"Reading fiction doesn't help us escape the world, it helps us live in it."
We approach sacred texts in community as jumping off points to consider what it means to be human and find meaning in our experiences. Is it only ancient, sacred texts that help us with that task? Following the lead of the popular podcast, this course moves through the Harry Potter series as a sacred text, helping us consider what it means to be human and find meaning in our experiences.
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Thank you to all who helped make Compassion Camp happen this year! We are grateful that our children had a space to see, be seen, love, and be loved.
VBS this year is a testament to the reality that though the church is constantly changing and adapting, what matters is that it embody's the love of Christ to every member.
Come to the table, come celebrate with us!
We are all welcome, come celebrate with us!
Let's have a party, come celebrate with us!
We are a family, come celebrate with us!
You are my sibling, come celebrate with us!
-Camp song this year
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Racial Justice Task Force Interest Meeting
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Next Wednesday, August 5th at 5:30pm, we will have an online meeting to discuss the "Holy Idea" for a racial justice task force. We will meet with the goal of outlining what exactly it is we'd like to do and who will be in leadership roles.
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Interested in learning more about / joining Northminster?
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On August 16th, from 4-5:30pm, Northminster will be holding an online orientation / inquirer's course for all interested in finding out more about Northminster. This is a required course to be able to serve in leadership positions in the future.
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Brookshires' Offering to Help Learn to Use Curbside
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We received a call this week from Brookshire's on 165-N offering a service for anyone in need of training on how to fully make use of Brookshire's curbside service for groceries. If the technology has been getting in your way, please give them a call at 343-3300 and ask for Joseph to set up a short training session!
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Holy Ideas
How might we respond to the Spirit of Love?
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In this new season of social distancing, we need holy ideas to help stretch our imaginations for what is possible within this community more than ever.
Since we can't make use of the physical "Holy Ideas" board in the hallway, we'll maintain it virtually and keep it updated here in the newsletter. If you have an idea for a way the church can be church in this season, or if you see an idea you'd like to support to help it become reality,
email the office
.
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Around Town
(Virtually, or otherwise)
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Tribute to John Lewis on State of Belief Radio
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Whenever we hear of events (virtual or otherwise) around town that involve one of our members, friends, or commissions, we'll be sure to share it here. Please feel free to send notice of events to office@northmin.org!
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Giving to Northminster
Support Northminster's Work
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We are sensitive to the reality that financial uncertainty is one of the side effects of the spread of the coronavirus. However, if you find yourself in a position to continue or increase your contributions to the church, know that your donation will be greatly appreciated. We have made the decision to honor our commitments to all those on our payroll (ministers, staff, choral scholars, childcare) who are relying on this income in an anxious time, and we cannot do that without your continued support.
To support Northminster financially, you can
click here
, or scan the QR code below with the camera on your phone.
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Sunday 8/2
10am - Digital Sunday School
10:45am - Preludes and Online Chat
11am - Sunday Morning Liturgy
After Worship - Narthex Chat
Wednesday 8/5
6:30pm - Digital Choir "Rehearsal"
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Worship This Week
The text this week is Matthew
14:13-21.
Claire Helton will preach Sunday's sermon, which will be streamed on our YouTube channel.
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