Dozens of teenagers, lots of Top 40 music, and a huge candy buffet - what's not to love if you're an adult guest at a mitzvah party?! While m
ost families ask us to focus our attention on keeping the kids entertained, there is no denying there will be grandparents, aunts, uncles, and adult family friends at the party, too. What's their idea of fun at a bar or bat mitzvah party?
At first it may seem appealing to incorporate some "adult" dancing music throughout the party to encourage the adults to partake in the fun. However, this never seems to work the way most people hope for a few reasons:
1. Most adults aren't really interested in dancing at a kids' party - Even if your adults LOVE to dance, most are expecting a "kids' party" and their inhibitions go up when they are surrounded by their sons and daughters, and all their 13-year-old friends. The opposite is true too - most kids don't typically feel comfortable dancing with a bunch of adults surrounding them on the dance floor. Many adults would prefer to catch up with friends and family and leave most of the fun on the dance floor to the kids.
2. The adults that want to dance don't want to feel old - For the adults that want to dance, most would like to dance to Justin Timberlake and Bruno Mars (both great choices for kids, too!) at least as much as Earth, Wind, and Fire or Madonna. Many adults that want to dance like fun, familiar, fresh music instead of typical stale selections from years past.
3. Playing too much "adult" music quickly loses the kids - This is probably the most important reason not to play too much to the adults' hand with the music. While the adults that like to dance will certainly enjoy dancing to some "kids' music" (Justin Timberlake, etc.), the converse is very rarely true. There are only a few "throwback" songs that the kids know and will dance to, so older music should be played very sparingly. Once the kids' attention is lost, they quickly create their own form of entertainment, which is typically not desirable!
So what about the adults, then?
Most adults attending a mitzvah party are excited to to celebrate with your family and show their support. They understand what the day is all about and enjoy a window into the life of your son or daughter and don't mind being "in their world" at the party. They are happy catching up with old friends, enjoying great food and drink, and partaking in any part of the fun they choose. There is no need to beg for their involvement in something they may not even be interested in, especially at the risk of alienating the core audience and the reason we're all there in the first place!
Mazel Tov! See you Soon!
-Matt
