Well I'm back at my desk and looking back fondly at the past week that I got to share with some of our kids.  I got to see all of them in action over the course of the week but spent a lot of time with one young man in particular. It was a learning experience. I'm sharing with you, with his mother's permission, as this is a story of growth and hope. 

This was Rowan's last year at Camp Havvago. 

He began attending when we first offered this option.

	Rowan 2013.

He, like many on the spectrum, appeared to march to a different drummer, except Rowan never marched, Rowan RAN!  Each year the Camp has assigned double staff to him as even young athletic staff members don't have the stamina to keep up the pace Rowan sets.  This year, Cid & I decided we would tag team and be the second staff members to work with staff assigned to Rowan, freeing up a staff person to cover program areas.

 It may seem odd to think a 67 year old grandmother could keep up with Rowan but thankfully over the years he has slowed down a bit as he has matured.  I have a very special place in my heart for kids on the spectrum who are perceived as less able. Perhaps because my own son is pretty much non verbal and is thought of as being severely impacted by autism.  It's a never ending battle to make people aware of his strengths, too often his lack of language sets the bar for expectations so low. 

 In any case, fools rush in where wise men fear to tread so I guess that makes me  an old fool. But I do possess a management technique that young people don't. I have "THE MOM VOICE".  You know, that deep from the diaphragm voice you use when you want a kid to listen, not yelling, but a deeper octave. Unorthodox but it works. I used it when needed. I also know to keep instructions  simple, offer choices, when to prompt, how to model and to reward responses tout suite!

 Rowan, for his part, came with his own expectations.  With 1 or 2 words he could communicate his needs and desires. Needs were met and desires were considered and scheduled into his day if possible. We laughed out loud one day when he requested "Men's Room" at the waterfront, a need that required an immediate response. So Cid took him to the porta potties located there. Rowan entered, the door shut then opened and he emerged saying "Better Men's Room". He's no fool that kid! 

Another example of his communication style, before each meal, all campers assemble outside the dining hall for "Gathering".  Announcements are made, there is a sing a long and possibilities for campers to take center stage to tell a joke or be the "Meal Minion" and tell campers & staff what was on the menu for the day.  Rowan used the word "GAAA THER RING", using the exact sing song pitch staff use to announce it is time to head to the dining hall, to inquire when it would be time for the next meal. Some might have dismissed the use of the word as delayed echolalia, but we knew better, and would share with him our schedule to show him first swim, then arts & crafts , THEN Gathering. With his need for information and a time table of when his need for food would be met, Rowan was able to wait patiently for lunch. Once he knew I had a schedule he often reached over to take it to check what was coming next. This surprised the staff, that he could read and used that skill independently.

He'd spent many hours in previous years seemingly running aimlessly around camp with staff chasing him. This year he turned the tables and indicated when he wanted to  run by taking the arms of the two of us who were with him and pushing them forwards while saying "Chase" and fully expecting us to run from him.  One day he did it to me and I tried to explain "Sue is old, she can't run."  Well, he invoked the "ROWAN VOICE" saying CHASE a bit deeper..........suffice to say, I ran. He caught me quickly of course. No one ever perceived his running in the past as play, just a behavior to manage and contain. How dense could we be? 

He has several Suess Books he obviously loves and has specific pages that are favorites. While he is capable of reading himself he enjoys having others read to him.  Here is one oft requested page. 

  Knowing this, I used the page during a building activity to engage Rowan in a less than desired activity, building a popsicle stick box. For each stick he placed on the previously placed sticks I would read the page for him. Modeling and hand over hand (quickly faded)  was all it took for him to get with the program and construct a box. That and repeated readings of the page. I got a little silly and started saying different names than Clark, which elicited a correction from Rowan, with an exasperated look.  

On the black top area, Rowan excelled at shooting baskets. My heart soared watching him, he was like any other teen aged boy showing off his expertise. He also used the blacktop to engage in the Chase Game. At one point, he successfully engaged eight staff members in his game! Rowan connected with so many people last week. 

Our last day at camp, he and his bunkmates were walking in atypical silence back to their bunks to pack after breakfast. Usually there are "repeat after me songs" as kids transition from one activity to the next. Rowan initiated a song by calling out "You Can't Ride In My Little Red Wagon"  much to the delight of all the staff who had worked with him over the week. 

	Rowan 2018.

  It was heartwarming to watch the kids back at the site waiting for their parents to arrive. As they trickled in kids broke out into a run to meet them. Who says our kids don't develop relationships? Such happiness with each reunion. Rowan was watching intently the whole time, finally his parents came up the path, he smiled and walked down to meet them hugging his Dad obviously happy to be reunited. I went over to share with his parents the great week he had. When the conversation ended, Rowan reached out and tapped me, then hugged me. 

I cried a little, knowing this was his last year. I'm not sure if he was finally getting camp or if we were finally getting Rowan.  As our kids age fewer and fewer opportunities exist for kids like Rowan and my son to be part of something as special as Camp Havvago. This doesn't exist everywhere.  This  needs to change. With the right supports and understanding every person on the spectrum can grow and be successful.

 This doesn't stop at age 22 when they age out of school.  We need to make others aware that all people on the spectrum have great potential, that we can tap if we change our expectations of them, changing to meet norms.  Meet them half way and you will tap into that potential. 

On Saturday I posted on our Facebook Page an opinion piece from the New York Times "How to Meet Autistic People Halfway".  It resonated with me, especially given my experiences that week with this extraordinary young man.   I encourage you all to read it and share it widely with those who work with you to improve the life of your family member.  It takes a village and it takes every tool we possess, used with respect and acceptance of the person we are trying to help, to make a difference. 

I'm hoping my small efforts made a difference for Rowan, I know he changed me and several staff members at Camp Starfish for the better. My parting words of advice to the staff were "Presume Competence".  I know I will be sustained through the challenges that come my way  by remembering how Rowan persevered and connected with us.  This only happened when we met him halfway. 

Have a great week .

Sue